16 Meow-ty Fine Cat Gifts for 2023

There are fun cat toys. There are frustrating cat toys. There are evil cat toys. And then there's the KiTiDOT red dot laser pointer cat collar. A collar with a built-in projector of a perpetually un-pounceable red dot that the victim himself must bear and beam to his own torment! It even has 3 different lighting modes!

KiTiDOT seems to acknowledge the horror it has created, referring to their red dot cat collar as "wicked." But they are clearly still trying to sell you one for your cat, also harping on how they use only "cat friendly materials," and touting the collar as a purveyor of safer play, since there is no external unit for your kitty to knock over, and with the laser around her neck, she won't inadvertently look straight into its beam.

He pulls back...he's going long...he swipes...he claws...he scoooooores! The NFL Football Field Cat Scratcher Toy gives your feline friends something to do while you're watching the game this fall, and then you something to watch while the game's on commercial break. That is, the cat going bananas scratching the felt football field, batting around the catnip-filled plush football on a stick, and smacking the included jingling bell that rolls across the yard lines.

The football fields are also branded with NFL team names and logos (albeit not replicas of their stadiums, which would have been cooler) and while I didn't count or do any sort of fact checking, as per usual, they appear to all be there. So you should be able to find your favorite, and follow maker Pets First's advice: "ADD TO CART NOW!"

Gnawing at dishwasher prongs and chomping through electrical cords are some of the naughty cat moves that inspired the creation of the BiteyBox. Brett Reider's family cat, Luki, wouldn't respond to chew toys or catnip matatabi sticks as alternatives to chomping on items around their house. So he developed a simple box with a grid of holes for holding natural oak and poplar sticks in hopes of enticing Luki away from the stuff he shouldn't have in his mouth, and keeping his focus on the stuff he could.

Reider says it worked.

The BiteyBox comes in floor and wall-mountable models, each handmade by Reider and his son in Wilmington, NC. BiteyBoxes contain no paints, glues, or stains, and the included sticks are removable for travel, and replaceable once both ends are worn.

A Meownooker? Sounds like a cat lookin' to deliver his goods to a Meownookie. Who will, of course, tell him to take that cookie and stick it up his (yeah). But, no. Meownooker is actually a billiards- / pool-themed toy for cats, its name portmanteau of "meow" and "snooker." A pretty bad portmanteau in this dude's opinion.

But I guess it's better than Meowilliards. Or Billcat. Catool. Maybe Snookitty? Nope. They all suck. Sometimes it's just better to name a thing what it is: Cat Billiards Toy. A boring name doesn't necessarily make a boring product, and it certainly doesn't in the case of the Meownooker, which looks like a playtime blast for both cat and owner.

I don't normally like copycats - in art, writing, or murder - but if these Copycat Art Scratchers will: 1) stop my cat Zanzibar from using my leg and face as his scratching post; and 2) satisfy my wife's desire not to ug up our condo with "a bunch of cat lady crap," then send a Copycat Mona Lisa this dude's way.

Copycat Art Scratchers are an Erik Stehmann design, intended to be a real piece of household art in addition to a feline claw sharpener and energy outlet. You can wall mount the handmade sisal fiber "paintings," or use their included stands to set them out on the floor.

Do your cats have the need, the need for weed? Meowijuana Catnip feels their cravings, and has developed a whole line of herbalicious products they call "Catnip so good it should be illegal!"

That said, Meowijuana Catnip is neither illegal nor dangerous for your kitties. It is 100% natural, and grown organically in the US - free of preservatives, pesticides, fillers, and artificial ingredients. Meowijuana also says their catnip buds are premium in texture and cut, hand-sifted to eliminate rough bits and stems that might otherwise compromise potency.

Meowijuana Catnip comes in a variety of treat forms, including joints, buds, spray, chew sticks, and even a Get Smoked cloth fish.

I doubt this UFO Cat Litter Box is going to be the most functional and high-performing litter box you ever own, but it sure as cat sh- is gonna be the most out of this world.

A great gift for the pet lover who is also a geek, or just has fond memories of The Jetsons like I do, the UFO Cat Litter Box comes in 5 different stellar colors, and, at 22" x 22" x 18", is large enough for multi-cat homes. Or single cat homes occupied by a real chonk.

Um. Aside from the fact that that cat's sitting politely and perfectly still on a human hand, I can't even tell it's a custom stuffed cat replica, and not just, like, a cat.

A few years ago, we saw Cuddle Clones and their hyper-realistic take on stuffed versions of your dog, cat, or other furry / feathered friend. And they're real good. But I gotta say, I think these custom stuffed cat replicas, available as either just your buddy's head, or as a full body, are even better. Handmade by Qinghua, and sold through her Etsy shop, Brightliftin, these kitties (and doggos, and tweety birds!) all look to be dead ringers of their living counterparts.

Who let the cat out of...no, wait. The real question should be, who stuffed the cat inside the bag in the first place? Was it you, Becky? Thinkin' this canvas tote with a plush lion sewn on the front was just too adorable not to turn into a cat carrier for Mr. Boots? I see you even cut a hole where the lion's face should be, so he can stick his own head through the opening, thus giving the impression that a mere domesticated feline is the King of the Jungle.

And if he doesn't want to?

Well. That's where the drawstring and plastic cord lock come in.

I know one thing for sure: if I tried to put my cat, Zanzibar, in a Lion Cat Carrier, shove his head through the opening, and then tie it so it was stuck there, I would learn real quick just how King of the Jungle a mere domesticated feline can be.

"This product makes your cat love teeth brushing time!" Oh, ForCatCare, ForCat'sSake! Thank you for this purring electric toothbrush for cats. I had a rough go of it after eating too much food and drinking too much drink last night, and reading those words has really brightened my day.

Because...ha! Haha! Hahahahaha! A purring electric toothbrush for cats? A toothbrush at all for cats? A product that will make "your cat love teeth brushing time!"? To quote the great Wallace Shawn as Vizzini in The Princess Bride, "INCONCEIVABLE!"

My dudes, my ladies, for better or worse, the ForCatCare purring electric toothbrush for cats is a real product that really claims it will make your cat grow fond of dental care. Its silicone bristles vibrate at a gentle 25 Hz, mimicking the purring frequencies of kitties themselves.

I'm about to let the cat out of the bag: this toiletry case & organizer looks like...a cat! I'm not even kitten you! It me-wowed and blew my mind too when I first saw it. But indeed, you can now store your grooming supplies, makeup, power cords, pocket tools, even your weed stash inside the ample back of a tortoiseshell, striped ginger, tabby, or black-and-white cat! And, as maker Openhahaha points out, "Every case looks like you have a real cat by your side!"

A Crotch Staring Cat with swappable crotch parts? Being a reluctant, yet attentive, cat owner, I can say this toy from Chinese cartoonist QianLi Ma is not based on real life. At least not in my experience. Now a Crotch Licking Cat with swappable crotch parts, that toy would be one I'd believe.

Despite this missed opportunity, QianLi Ma's Crotch Staring Cat with swappable crotch parts is still pretty weird and fantastic. A great gift for your girlfriend who loves cats. Or, I suppose, crotches.

Watch your cat have a ball with this spinning catch scratcher toy. The natural sisal ball adds another dimension of interest and satisfaction for your kitty and its claws mounted to a triangular frame that allows it to rotate freely when scratched and batted.

And if your cat isn't in the mood to go 'round and 'round, the spinning scratcher's base is also lined with sisal thread.

Ladies, want some kitties for your titties? And your kitty, because this black cat bra also comes with a matching thong. The lingerie set from Adore Me adds a pair of cute cat pasties to an unlined black tulle bra, plus a third to the top of the whale's tail on the underwear.