Fitness

TheraCup At-Home Cupping Therapy Device

$149 Amazon »

Can I interest you in a DIY red polka-dotted epidermis? The TheraCup is an at-home cupping therapy device you can use on your own body to increase blood flow and provide relief to areas that are tight or in pain. But...

BackBadger Percussive Massage Gun Handle

$99.99 Amazon »

Ninefold's BackBadger isn't a percussive massage gun but, like BASF, Ninefold doesn't make the percussive massage guns you buy. It makes the percussive massage guns you buy better. Compatible with 99% of the massage guns...

Banana Sling Grips for Pull-Ups & Lifting

$15.99 Amazon »

Hey, they might call you bananas, but do they even lift, bro? Using these Banana Sling Grips, you not only hit the pull-ups, bent-over rows, and deadlifts, you do it with a neutral grip, more natural movements, and less...

Micro Gainz Dumbbell Fractional Weight Plates

$48.99 - $149.99 Amazon »

Just like a pound here and a pound there with food and booze leads to pants that don't fit, a pound here and a pound with Micro Gainz Micro Plates leads to shirts that don't fit. Because your bulging biceps are about...

The Plunge Plumbing-Free Cold Therapy Tub

$4,490 - $7,490 Plunge »

I can say with certainty that, after reading about the Plunge cold therapy tub, and its plug-and-plunge ability to chill hose water down to 39 degrees F with no plumbing hookups required, this dude is...not ready to take...

Bellabooty Hip Thrust Belt

$69.97 Amazon »

With the Bellabooty Belt, you can "hip thrust anytime, anywhere!" And just like that, all your problems - maybe even all the world's problems - are solved!...

Tempo Move - Home Gym in a Side Table

$395 Tempo »

Tempo Move is a home gym, virtual personal trainer, fitness tracker, and piece of IKEA-lookin' contemporary furniture in one. Or maybe I should say Apple-lookin' contemporary furniture, because Tempo has designed this...

Weighted Wooden Hula Hoop

$49.49 - $53.99 Amazon »

No, dudes, I swear, it's a Weighted Wooden Hula Hoop. I'm not trying to trick you into buying anal beads for an elephant. ... Though if you're in the market for anal beads for an elephant, I think the Weighted Wooden...

Breathing Buddha for Guided Visual Meditation

$21.95 Amazon »

The Breathing Buddha provides guided visual meditations for adults and kiddos alike. If successful, he will hone mindfulness, relieve stress and anxiety, and help you sleep. What a guy! Not to mention a perfect gift to...

PowerDot 2.0 Electrical Muscle Stimulation Device

$159 - $349 Amazon »

There's a new electric muscle stimulator pod on the block! Therabody developed their PowerDot 2.0 line as a lightweight and portable solution for sore, spent, and pain-ridden athletes and fitness enthusiasts. I bet the...

n.o.w. Tone Therapy - Yoga for Your Mind

$179 Amazon »

Want 30 minutes' worth of meditation in 3 minutes? Want it n.o.w.? Solu's New Origin Waveform Tone Therapy feels you, and hopes to make you feel better, with their n.o.w. "Yoga for Your Mind" sound-based calming, centering...

Smell Training Kit for Smell Loss & Scent Distortion

$24.99 Amazon »

I don't imagine a smell training kit designed to "help regenerate damaged neural pathways in your nose after experiencing smell loss (anosmia), reduced smell (hyposmia), or distorted smell (phantosmia)" would have gotten...

Hip-Fin Hip Flexor Release Tool

$59.99 Amazon »

My hips don't lie...they frickin' hurt. Tight, ropey, maybe not quite ready for Hip-Fin levels of pain to release them, but, hey. If it's agony for minutes and ecstasy for days thereafter, I'm dude enough to take it...

Rolflex Arm & Leg Massager

$79.95 - $99.95 Amazon »

Feel the benefits...and the torture...of foam rolling from anywhere with the Rolflex Arm & Leg Massager. You can even focus the brutality on forearms and triceps, calves and inner thighs, and other arm and leg areas that...

Jumbo Digital Wall Clock

$229 Amazon »

Bring the basketball court or boxing ring to your home...without actually installing a basketball court or boxing ring in your home with this jumbo digital wall clock. This thing, like another word with almost the exact...

Thumb Saver Trigger Point Massage Tool

$6.99 - $7.99 Amazon »

Uuuhhh, now where does that plastic thumb go again? Up my a...bductors? OK, I'm down, Thumb Saver trigger point massage tool. I've always had tight hips. Actually, could you go in a little? Just more towards that center...

Wrist Buddy Yoga Blocks

$41.70 - $44.81 Amazon »

There's always room for improvement in yoga, and apparently there is also always room for improvement in yoga gear. These Wrist Buddy Yoga Blocks described themselves as "the ultimate ergonomic upgrade for maximum wrist...

OMORPHO MicroLoad Weighted Sports & Fitness Clothing

OMORPHO weighted sports and fitness clothing won't just omorpho you into a whole new level of athlete, or human with a hot, ripped body. But the line of "MicroLoad"-enhanced tops and bottoms could give you an edge as...

FITLY Minimalist Running Pack

$59 - $79 Amazon »

While I maintain a policy of running only in emergency situations, such as being about to miss a flight, or beating people who look like they're headed into the same line or restaurant I am, I do understand others run...

Back Bubble Spinal Decompressor & Back Stretcher

$298 - $398 Amazon »

Hey, if it stretches my spine, restores traction, and relieves my lower back pain, I don't care what kind of poon the Back Bubble makes me look like while I'm using it. Adult male in a baby carrier. Fat dude stuck in...

AquaBLAST Underwater Punching Bag

$213 Amazon »

It seems to me the AquaBLAST Underwater Punching Bag is what boxing would be like in one of my nightmares where I can only move and do stuff in slow motion. In other words: Not. Cool...

Upaloop Fitness Stool

$89.97 Amazon »

Upaloop-a, doompa-de-doo / I've got a brand new workout for you. Upaloop-a, doompa-de-dee / A fitness stool that will shrink a belly...

Yoga Auxiliary Chair

$98.90 Amazon »

Yoga Auxiliary Chair? Yoga Auxiliary Chair? Psssh, yeah. Yoga Auxiliary Chair. This is a sex chair if I ever saw one. Even the lady "doing yoga" on it looks like she supports my position. (And looks like she could support...

Walkolution Manual Treadmill Desks

$5,566 - $10,668 Walkolution »

Walk. Work. Walk while working. Work while walking. Ugh. It's like a bunch of F-words in a row, but with Ws. And speaking of F-words, F Walkolution manual treadmill desks. It's bad enough I have to perform mental gymnastics...