Food

Just the Tipsy Sparkling Wine

$37 - $42.99 Just the Tipsy »

I'm dude enough to admit it: I learned about Just the Tipsy Bubbly Rose, a sparkling wine served in a bottle shaped like penis, through Chrissy Teigan's Twitter feed about 5 minutes before writing this. Another thing...

Red Feather Canned Butter from New Zealand

$29.92 Amazon »

Since New Zealand is better than anywhere else in the world, it stands to reason that butter from New Zealand is also better than butter from anywhere else in the world (no offense to Kerrygold). And lookee what we have...

Trees Knees Coffee Maple Syrup

$13.99 Amazon »

Pass the kids the imitation Mrs. Butterworth's. Trees Knees' Coffee Maple Syrup brings pure, organic New York Catskill maple mixed with real Stumptown Coffee to the adults chowing down on pancakes and waffles in the morning...

Chocolate Covered Scorpion

$11.99 Amazon »

The official name of this chocolate covered scorpion is "Dessert Scorpion." Just in case there is any confusion about whether you should eat it for breakfast or as a snack or on a dare. And also to distinguish it from...

Maple Stream Sprayable Maple Syrup

Sold Out Amazon »

Milk for Santa's cookies? Lame. This year I'm leaving out a can of Maple Stream instead, and letting 7 fluid ounces of sprayable maple syrup help him wash down the peanut butter blossoms, Corn Flake wreaths, and gingerbread...

MSCHF's Big Fruit Loop

$19.99 MSCHF »

Are you ready for a half-pound, 930-calorie Fruit Loop? No, not half a pound and 930 calories worth of Froot Loops*, a single Fruit Loop weighing 6.7 ounces and packing 930 cals into the happy...but maybe turning sad...

Brittle Brothers Bacon Peanut Brittle

$8.99 Amazon »

Good news, dudes! Brittle Brothers Bacon Peanut Brittle is cholesterol free! That means you can eat as much as you want of the Nashville-made candy packed with 4 times more nuts and real bacon, and it won't make you fat...

Brisket Candy Canes

$9.95 Amazon »

Sorry, family, we can't afford a beef tenderloin this year, but may I offer you one of these Brisket Candy Canes instead? Archie McPhee says he cooked them "low and slow," so they're probably nearly as good as a succulent...

Loose Leaf Tea Discs in Bamboo Leaf Tube

$16.49 Amazon »

Never spill the tea again with these loose leaf tea discs. At least not literally, and not before you brew it, thanks to this pressed-and-packed, bag-free design. The tea discs also come packaged in an eco-friendly bamboo...

Christmas Vacation Griswold House Boxed Wine

$49.99 World Market »

Does it matter the quality, or even the kind, of wine that comes in the box of National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation Griswold House Boxed Wine? Is that really going to have an impact on whether or not any of us buys it...

Koko Nuggz

$11.87 Koko Nuggz »

Koko Nuggz weed-themed treats are so fun, so poppable, and so full of sugar and Rice Krispie carbs that even without the THC they'll probably get you high. Or, according to the Koko Nuggz nugget bakers, at least "shock...

Hostess Snack Cakes Bottled Iced Lattes

$54.99 Amazon »

Hostess Snack Cakes Bottled Iced Lattes bring one stop shopping for coffee and a pastry to a kitchen or office break room near you! The cakes even come pre-dunked! I'm trying to decide whether I'm delighted or disgusted...

Tasty Pastry High Protein Snacks

$25.99 Amazon »

Looks like Pop-Tarts have put on a few pounds. Now I know why they call it puff pastry. Tasty Pastry High Protein Snacks must think a lot of stuff out there is tasty...if you know what I mean...

Pringles Premium Black Truffle

Gather 'round, culinarians, as elegant meets elegant-er in these black-truffle-seasoned Pringles. Another unique Japanese twist on an otherwise All-American product (see also: Kit Kat Bars) Pringles Premium Black Truffle...

Miller High Life x Tipsy Scoop Ice Cream Dive Bar

It's the 100th anniversary of dive bars! No, wait, it's the 100th anniversary of Miller High Life, No...no that's not it. Hold please. ... Ah! It's the 100th anniversary of ice cream bars! However, dive bars, and apparently...

NUDE Breath & Gut Mints

$27.99 - $38.99 Amazon »

Freshen your dry, acrid mouth, plus the churning belly action causing it, with NUDE Breath & Gut Mints. The dual-action pellets promise to relieve your body and its exhales of mask breath, coffee breath, odiferous food...

VELVEETA Veltini Kit - DIY Cheese Martini

$49.95 Goldbelly »

Of all the gross applications of otherwise fine foods, the VELVEETA Veltini Kit is definitely...one of the better ones. Cheese, olives, vodka, vermouth, and, and Jumbo VELVEETA Shells & Cheese?! I mean, sure, it looks...

Freeze Dried Pepperoni Pizza

$10 Etsy »

Wood-fired pizza ovens, I see your 800-degree temperatures and crispy crusts, and raise you minus-100-degree temperatures and crispy crusts, crispy cheese, crispy pepperoni, and crispy tomato sauce! Freeze Dried Pepperoni...

Culinary Perfume - Edible Fragrance & Ice Cream Topping

It's gonna cost you a helluva lot more than hot fudge, sprinkles, and Old Spice, but Salt & Straw's Culinary Perfume, an edible fragrance and ice cream topping, is sure to be the foodie gift of the year. Or at least of...

SNACKLINS Low-Calorie Vegan Pork Rinds

Sold Out Amazon »

Airy, crunchy, salty, and I can eat the whole bag in under 100 calories. SNACKLINS attacklinned my mouth a couple months ago, and I surrendered with joy...

8Greens Daily Greens Lollipops

$23.26 Amazon »

According to 8Greens, one 8Greens Daily Greens Lollipops contains as much Vitamin C as 2 oranges, Vitamin B5 as 15 cups of broccoli, Vitamin B6 as 15 cups of spinach, Vitamin B12 as 7 cups of milk, and zinc as 3 cups...

Mother's Day Kentucky Fried Buckquet

By: KFC »

The Kentucky Fried Buckquet, available between May 1 and May 3, 2022 to honor Mother's Day, isn't as cool as it sounds. Which is unfortunate, because it sounds awwwesommme...

Smokehouse Ultimate Grilling Spice Set

$39.99 Amazon »

Thoughtfully says their Smokehouse Ultimate Grilling Spice Set is "inspired by profound flavors from around the world." And while I'll admit that is certainly a statement that seems to have been written...thoughtfully...I...

IMWELL Roasted Sweet Potato Bars

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A sweet potato energy bar? Sounds yammy! I mean, yummy! I mean yammy and yummy!...