$12.95 - $21.95 Puffin »

Puffin Drink Wear Koozies make your cans and bottles feel extra cozy in their cozys with a double insulated construction, and miniature outerwear and sleeping bag designs. The latter also put the koozies squarely into the category of things that make you go Awww.

Puffin Drink Wear Koozies outfit...

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0Star brite Liquid Electrical Tape

Star brite Liquid Electrical Tape

$6.48 - $7.48 Amazon »

Seems like regular old adhesive electrical tape would be way easier to apply than Liquid Electrical Tape - more forgiving if you misplace it too. But if you've got the steady hand of an Operation master, or at least...

Friday the 13th Jason Garden Gnome

$15 Etsy »

Amelie meets Friday the 13th! What a precious and heartwarming way to die!...

Corn Dog Butt Plug

$25 - $250 Etsy »

And you thought corn dogs plugged you up before. This Corn Dog Butt Plug from Glow F Yourself does double plugging duty too - the metal or silicone end plugs into one willing participant's poophole, and the breaded meat...

Hexa-LED Honeycomb Light Fixture

$785 Etsy »

You can't swing from the Hexa-LED chandelier, but you can gaze up at this stunning honeycomb light fixture in wonder of its design. And then in blindness from its 6000K LEDs and 730W of power...

Of course there are tons more than 13 classic horror movie Halloween finds out there. From human costumes to dog costumes, subtle home decor to life-size yard art, haunted house props to...bath bombs? Indeed, 13 is a mere blood drop in the rusty bucket of scary movie-themed Halloween gear...

T-Rex Foam Dart Gun

$29.99 Amazon »

Usually T-Rex is all about shoving things into his mouth, but here in T-Rex Foam Dart Gun form he takes a turn at spewing them out. His resultant destruction and turmoil remain the same. Nice shot, T-Rex! You hit my mama's...

FireCel Plus Hand Warmer, Flashlight & Charger

$39.95 Amazon »

The FireCel Plus is a 3-in-1 hand warmer, flashlight, and charger from Celestron, who I know as "the expensive telescope people." And indeed, a multi-tool that will toast your frigid fingers, power up your dying phone...

Super Wide Peephole for Viewing Up to 7' Away

$46.99 - $69.07 Amazon »

I guess the question is, why get a Door Scope super wide peephole for peeping peeps at your front door from up to 7' away when you could just get a Ring Doorbell or a Wyze Camera, or at least an LCD panel digital peephole?...

Zoom Tube Monocular Telescope

The Zoom Tube Monocular Telescope weighs just 9.5 ounces, so you can pack it up and take it along on any adventure. Non-creepy adventures only, please, peeping toms and stalkers! Sporting events. Hiking and mountaineering...

FlyDad FirstBorn Men's Diaper Backpack

$159 Amazon »

No, it's not a backpack for men's diapers. It's a diaper backpack for men. Thanks to my 4th grade teacher, Miss Dunkelberg, I was able to use the context clues of "FlyDad" and "FirstBorn" to determine this bag is for...

Hanging Bookshelf

$160 - $250 Etsy »

I don't know what I like better about this hanging bookshelf: it's simple, innovative design, and the ease with which you can use it to decorate a wall; or that it was created by a husband and wife team named Agusta and...

Heinz Ketchup Packet Roller

$5.70 Heinz »

On the one hand, the Heinz Packet Roller is encouraging us not to make a mess and waste ketchup. How very tidy and eco-conscious of them. But on the other, when you have to invent a gadget - however tongue-in-cheek and...

Sandgrain Studio Minimalist Movie & TV Show Posters

$35 - $80 Etsy »

Sandgrain Studio's artistic interpretations of prized scenes and images from beloved movies and TV shows has brought us an extensive collection of posters that are modern, minimalist, and subtle. They're kind of in contrast...

E114: What Is This Thing?

$4.99 Amazon »

Welcome to Edition 114 of What Is This Thing?, my recurring visual riddle series consisting of one simple photo - see above - and one simple question: what is this thing?...

GardenSharp Garden Tool Sharpener

$10.99 Amazon »

Wait, is the reason I loathe doing yard work at my mama's house that all of her garden tools and lawnmower blades are dull? If I use the GardenSharp tool sharpener, will these tasks suddenly turn from dreaded chores into...

LIFEID Medical Alert Bracelet

$29.99 Amazon »

The LIFEID Medical Alert Bracelet isn't the sexiest piece of jewelry I've ever seen, but neither is your fitness tracker. And, hey, neither is dying because the first responders trying to save your life after a car crash...

Micro Arcade Oregon Trail Game

$19.99 Amazon »

Get ready to die of a little dysentery with Micro Arcade's miniature Oregon Trail game. It's all the fun, disease, and starvation of a covered-wagon road trip condensed into a handheld console the size of a credit card...

Q-Swiper BBQ Grill Cleaner

$15.99 Amazon »

For every delicious thing that comes hot off the grill, there is a not-so-delicious thing that stays hot on the grill. Blackened, crusty, and caked to the grates. And that's the Q-Swiper BBQ Grill Cleaner's favorite part...

Minimal Precision Hand Coffee Grinder

$135 Amazon »

Wait, I have to do all the work myself, and you cost how much, Minimal Precision Hand Coffee Grinder? I feel a hand cramp and some buyer's remorse coming on...

Noku Canvas Modular, Self-Watering Planter

$49 - $399 Shirinoku »

No green thumb or shelf space required for the Noku Canvas, a modular, self-watering planter collection you can arrange on your wall in any hex-based design you fancy...

Dalstrong Shadow Black Series Kitchen Knives

$69.99 - $299.99 Amazon »

As if kitchen knives weren't intimidating enough on their own*, Dalstrong created their Shadow Black Series of kitchen knives. So now I can pair what they call a "menacing design" with the high probability that I will...

LEGO Super Mario 64 Question Mark Block

$169.99 LEGO »

If you thought beating Super Mario 64 was hard to beat, get ready to try to conquer LEGO's new 2,064-piece Super Mario 64 Question Mark Block build. It might feel a little like banging your head against a...question mark...

Freddy Krueger Fire Pit

$1,491.09 Etsy »

One, two, Freddy's coming for you...if you can afford him. And afford the whopping 66- to 70-week wait time Freddy Krueger Fire Pit maker Burned By Design needs to hand build this horrifying...yet glorious...yet really...