Heated Windshield Ice Scraper

$18.99 Amazon »

This Heated Windshield Ice Scraper looks like a SkyMall especiale! (RIP SkyMall, at least from the skies. I've heard you can still shop their 1980s-era gadgets online.) And you know what that means: gift for Dad, ordered...

Tell Me Without Telling Me Game

$19.82 Amazon »

"Tell me without telling me..." You've seen the prompt - the "game," I suppose - on Reddit, TikTok, Twitter, whatever other social media platforms the cool cats are using and this dude is trying to get rid of these days...

Goblies Play Paint Goo for Water Guns

$10.50 Amazon »

Goblies Play Paint Goo Play Paint Goo-ifies any squirt gun or water blaster. The tubs o' fun are filled with colorful and tactile substances that will enhance any water battle and - good news for the parents dealing with...

Waterfall Kitchen Sink

$379.99 - $399.99 Amazon »

Give your dirty dishes and unwashed produce the spa treatment with this Waterfall Kitchen Sink. The back of the stainless steel insert is fitted with a sweet twist on the sprayer, a row of tiny nozzles that eject water...

E166: What Is This Thing?

$12.98 Amazon »

Welcome to Edition 166 of What Is This Thing?, my recurring visual riddle series consisting of one simple photo - see above - and one simple question: what is this thing?...

Cognitive Biases Wall Poster

Oh how I love to read about cognitive biases to see all the ones that apply to my father-in-law, my Aunt Jan, and my black-hearted ex-girlfriend Karen...

Shargeek See-Through Portable Charger

$229 Amazon »

I see what you're doing here, Shargeek. I mean, it's hard not to with the see-through shell around your STORM2 portable power bank revealing all its inner workings and charging capabilities...

Gifts for your love (Lil Friend Micro Fixed Blade Knife, Leg Chains), gifts for your lust (Lorals Latex Panties), and gifts for your little penis (Lightsaber Willy Warmer, Little Penis: A Finger Puppet Parody Book.) LOL!...

Randimals Stuffed Animals

$34.95 Amazon »

Hark! It's a Hork! Randimals Stuffed Animals are huggable mashups of our finest furry, feathered, scaled, and cartilaginous friends. Above you see the Randimals Hork, one possible outcome of a horse mated with a shark...

The Orgasmic Must-Have For Every Man's Bedroom

$209 Mystery Vibe »

From MysteryVibe: This is the one accessory you will want to wear on your penis. It's an unbelievably good time. Kiss performance anxiety goodbye with MysteryVibe's new Tenuto 2, the world's first male vibrator designed...

Yippee Ki-K, it's the other "Kuh" sound, and 16 gifts celebrating it. You kooky kids enjoy! And you kantankerous Karens not down with Kong Beer Bongs and Krapp Strapps, shove it up your...well. Please refer to Presenting the Alphabet: 18 Gifts That Start with C...

NEIKO 4-In-1 Folding Utility Knife

$11.99 Amazon »

The NEIKO 4-In-1 Folding Utility Knife reminds me that even though multi-tools aren't all the rage like they were circa 2015 when Leatherman debuted their Tread, they can still be solid pieces of EDC with, as their name...

3D Christmas Tree DIY Soldering Practice Kit

$12.59 - $25.99 Amazon »

Last year you made the kids help decorate the Christmas tree? This year, make them build it. This DIY Soldering Practice Kit is a basic electronic project for STEM learning and budding makers that will produce a flashing...

Juicy, Jim, Jedi, Just, and JAG kick off my roundup of 18 gifts that start with "J," and Jeri, JoGo, jelbows, and Juego do Domino close it out. In the middle? A Judy and a Bruce...

Death By Toys Parody Playsets

$25 - $50 Death By Toys »

Death By Toys Parody Playsets are here to slay your White Elephant and Dirty Santa parties this year thanks to one dude, and one dude alone. Dan Polydoris calls himself a "one-man action figure boutique," and from conception...

Santa Frozen in Carbonite Christmas Ornament

$14.95 Amazon »

Ho, ho, h-oh no! Santa Claus has gotten himself into a Carbonite pickle! He might survive as Han Solo did, but wasn't Han also frozen up in the stuff for, like, a year? Bad news, kids. I wouldn't waste my time with cookies...

I've compiled 16 gifts that start with "I," but don't worry. Only one of them starts with "i." And it's an iParody, not another expensive Apple device, or internet-based smart home product that's going to be a bitch to set up, and stop working every time your WiFi has a hiccup. My goal was to give...

Cat Balls Calendar

$15.99 Amazon »

Now here are some furry friends for you. And all your friends. The Cat Balls Calendar may be the premiere White Elephant and Dirty Santa gift for this holiday season. May be - we're only mid-November, dudes, so I'm just...

Telescoping Christmas Ornament Storage Box

$299.99 Amazon »

Decorating the Christmas tree: fun, festive, and full of egg-nog-filled Moose Mugs. Un-decorating the Christmas tree: suckage. Usually accompanied by tedious ornament wrapping, a few broken ornaments, string light bulb...

NReal Air AR Glasses

$379 Amazon »

They're not unreal, they're NReal. They're not virtual reality, they're augmented reality. NReal Air AR Glasses aren't a bunch of fake shit, they're a bunch of real shit...with a bunch of fake shit sprinkled in to make...

Wallet-Sized Phone Tripod

$29.95 Amazon »

The perfect Instagram post or TikTok video is just a wallet-sized phone tripod away. This ultra-thin, 0.4-ounce phone stand and positioner is a piece of pocket EDC for snapshot snappers and footage fiends of all kinds...

SnoozeShade Pack & Play Blackout Crib Tent

$89.99 Amazon »

Uh, do they make a SnoozeShade Pack & Play Blackout Crib Tent for adults? Because ever since turning 40, all I've wanted to do at parties and social gatherings is go somewhere and take a nap about an hour in. My wife...

Feejays Adult Footie Sweatpants

$29.98 - $49.98 Amazon »

Guess who just added some Feejays Adult Footie Sweatpants to his Amazon cart. That's right. This dude. Feejays are sweatpants with built-in fleece-lined socks. The first of many reasons this is awesome is that they're...

Multi-Colored New York Dinner Knife Set

$39 Articture »

This fetching Multi-Colored New York Dinner Knife Set is for everyone on your holiday gift list who doesn't wish for silver and gold...cutlery. The collection includes 7* serrated knives, each a completely different bold...