2023 Holiday Gift Guide: Dude-Approved Gifts for Women
I know I'm calling this holiday gift guide "Dude-approved" gifts for women, but I promise you, I swear on my mama's Gooey Butter Cake, and my wife, She-Ra: Princess of Power's Sword of Protection, that I have not just made a collection of lingerie, sex toys, and jerky. (What?! It's hot when ladies eat jerky!)
In fact, there is not a single piece of lingerie, nary a vibrator, and zero bags of jerky in this gifts for women roundup at all.
Note: All Dude-approved gifts for women are priced as they were at printing on November 13, 2023. Pricing, and availability, are subject to change.
Jolie Filtered Showerhead
Simply replace your existing showerhead with the Jolie Filtered Showerhead, and begin your transformation into Angelina!
Nah, creating Angelina Jolie clones is not what the Jolie Filtered Showerhead does. And now that I've built it up to that covetous level, I'm afraid the truth of its capabilities have little chance of impressing you dudes and ladies. Nonetheless, here goes: the Jolie Filtered Showerhead removes chlorine, heavy metals, and other contaminants from your shower water that can lead to dry skin, dull / damaged hair, change in hair color, and rashes / irritation. Improved hair and skin condition should be noticeable, with some seeing and feeling a difference after the first use.
Jettle Electric Travel Kettle
Ah, the Jettle. For all you jet setters in the worlds of travel mugs, electric kettles, and boiling water. Here I was thinking my Star Wars Corkcicle and Stagg were the snazziest of snazzy options for coffee, tea, and Ramen consumption out there, but the Jettle brings insulated tumbler portability to the fast-boil capabilities of electric kettles, producing an electric travel kettle that can both boil water in less than 5 minutes (and then automatically shut itself off) and warm coffee, tea, soup, or milk to a precise temperature between 100 and 212 degrees F.
PlantOGram Live Frantoio Olive Container Tree
Oooh, freshly picked olives from...your living room? If you decide to keep PlantOGram's live Frantoio Olive Container Tree indoors, yep. Freshly picked olives direct from your living room. Olive it!
Frantoio olives originate from Tuscany, and are typically used to produce top-notch olive oils that are "very fruity with a beautiful aroma." While PlantOGram does not suggest popping the tree's ripe olives directly from branch to piehole (kind of a bummer - woulda made the appetizer table at your next dinner party a real standout) you can definitely use them to press some homemade EVOO, or cure them for a marinated olive tray, or to use in other culinary delights.
Shaggy Duvet Cover
The shaggy duvet cover. A little bedspread made of pure comfort, hygge, and dead animals.
Just kidding about the dead animals. While both furry and fur-soft, shaggy duvet covers are made of synthetic materials - 100% polyester microfiber creates the soft 'n' shaggy on the front, and an even softer crystal velvet on the back.
The duvet covers come in a multitude of colors, from subtle gray wolf and brown grizzly, to full-on skinned Care Bear.
Heatless Flame Essential Oil Diffuser & Humidifier
It's earth, wind, and fire! Well, presuming you fill this diffuser with a cedarwood or baking spice essential oil, fire up the fan on its cool mist humidifier, and ignite its heatless flame to achieve the ambience and self-care specialist's full effects.
The aromatherapy diffuser uses LED lighting and nano mist to power its realistic 3D flame effect. You can choose from 3 light modes - dim, bright, and natural - depending on what type of fire you want to simulate, and control all of the device's settings via remote.
I don't got NO Sunglasses, and I don't want NO Sunglasses. What am I, a contrarian? ... Nevermind, don't answer that.
Ladies who like to communicate in the negative, without opening their mouths, and while making an interesting fashion statement with their shades, check out these NO Sunglasses, available in a handful of shiny color gradients. They are probably the strangest piece of eyewear I've seen since the half-frame rhinestone glasses. I'd say they leave me speechless, but obviously at least one word comes to mind every time I look at them.
Hollow Massage Sandals & Shower Shoes
I don't think these hollow-soled massage sandals / shower shoes were 3D printed, but they sure do look like they belong at a family reunion with footwear that was. Zellerfelds. The Cryptide Adidas 4DFWDs. But, hey, if they clear my frontal sinuses, tickle my pituitary gland, and stimulate my descending colon like their acupressure points say they do, know where else the webby wonders belong?
On my feet.
Wedge Pillow Headboard
Hard headboards, and even most of the soft, quilted ones, don't lend themselves so well to reading and scrolling in bed. And the pillows you sleep on, the ones that move and get mushed down and misshapen when you try to use them don't work great either. The same goes, I might add, for trying to use your standard headboard and sleeping pillows as props for other, sexier bed-based activities.
But a Wedge Pillow Headboard? Now we're talking true comfort, support, and...angling possibilities. These are big ol' 3D triangles sized especially for your twin, full, queen, or king bed. They're made of cotton hemp cloth and stuffed with PP cotton filling that provides both structure that won't deform over time, and enough cush to keep you comfy. S-curved fronts follow the shape of your low back to make the Wedge Pillows more ergonomic, and the wedge shape itself provides a decline more natural to the way you would lean back in bed.
Centellino Areadivino Wine Aerator & Decanter
Top-o'-the-mornin' to you, my dudes and ladies, and top-o'-the-bottle to you, my Centellino Areadivino Wine Aerator & Decanter. The Italian-made glass bauble has a cork-like base that slides right into wine bottles to perform its booze-breathing magic without dirtying a standalone decanter, while still preserving the handsome visual effects of the aerating and decanting process.
The Tube Combo Luggage & Neck Pillow
You don't need to be in London to take The Tube, but you certainly can take The Tube in London. And to London. You can even take The Tube on the Tube in London. A piece of luggage that also serves a travel neck pillow, this Tube is an efficient and, when it comes to the airlines, sneaky way to bring extra clothes on a trip, or avoid a checked bag and its associated fees, while giving yourself some extra support and a modicum of additional comfort as you try to sleep through your flight. Or your road trip. Or your extended ride on The Tube.
Giant Fluffy Floor Cushion
I will take one Giant Fluffy Floor Cushion, please. Plus everything else in that hygge-lookin' room with it. Including, probably, the walls and house the room sits inside. Oh, but not the lady in the Christmas PJs lying on top of the Giant Fluffy Floor Cushion. I mean, she's hot and all, but despite the 78.7" Giant Fluffy Floor Cushion looking large enough to hold all 3 of us, my wife, She-Ra: Princess of Power, would not approve.
Made by Aneta of Blue Brush Gits, this shaggy disc of a pillow comforts and cozies up to all in a variety of colors, as well as sizes ranging from Bigger Than Your Average Floor Cushion, to Plufl Dog Bed for Humans, to Frikkin' Huge.
Go Cuff Insulated Drink Sleeves with Handles
Smoothies, iced coffees, bubbles teas, all ye cold beverages that devolve into a big ol' sweaty mess the moment you step outside in the summer heat, Go Cuff hears your cries of embarrassment, and Wicked Witch wails of "I'm melting!" and Go Cuff is here to dry your tears / perspiration and help you keep your cool. Go Cuff is a line of insulated drink sleeves made to fit and preserve everything from your 8-ounce green juice to your 44-ounce reusable tumbler full of frozen mochaccino.
Flamin' Hot Cheetos Eyeshadow Palette
Hope the "Flamin' Hot" here indicates how you'll look, not how your eyeballs will feel, after applying shades from the Flamin' Hot Cheetos Eyeshadow Palette. I'd call this 12-strong makeup monstrosity of oranges and yellows a great white elephant gift, but it's actually kinda pricey. So maybe a better gift for, uh, your favorite drag queen? A frenemy?
Or, hey, what do I know? The lady modeling colors from the Flamin' Hot Cheetos Eyeshadow Palette does look pretty flamin' hot - at least from the undereye to the eyebrow - so maybe it would be the perfect gift for your girlfriend after all.
Reusable Wine Bottle Straws
Reusable Wine Bottle Straws mean you won't get lipstick or pucker marks all over the bottle of 2000 Chateau Lafite-Rothschild when you take a swig before serving it to your guests...at the executive retreat dinner you're catering. Or after the initial pours to the high-rollin' 4-top at the restaurant where you work. Just a wee taste for quality control. And because F them for downing a $2,000 bottle of wine when you can hardly afford $1,200 in rent for an apartment you share with 2 other people.
Sorry, dudes and ladies, I didn't set out to make a post about Reusable Wine Bottle Straws so dark and angry, but...'tis the season!
iLOLA Tea Disc Set
You've gotta think your wife and mama are pretty tea-riffic to spring for one of iLOLA's Tea Disc Sets as a gift for them this year. Unfortuna-tea - and fortuna-tea, I guess - my wife's and mama's special-tea is being tea-riffic, so...a-tea-os hundo, and how-tea iLOLA Tea Disc Set.
The listing here shows the iLOLA Tea Disc Essentials Box Set. It includes two boxes of tea discs (single servings of pressed, loose-leaf tea), a stainless steel tea infuser, a 12-ounce insulated travel tumbler with internal tea filter and strainer, and an Oprah's Favorite Things endorsement.
The PACK Legging - Yoga Pants for Dog Moms
The Gentle Pit's PACK Leggings are a terRUFFic redesign of yoga pants to better suit dog moms. The luxury leggings for dog lovers. The PACK. Yes, you'll find plenty of pants, and even stretchy, fitness-friendly, ass-enhancing pants, with added pockets and loops these days, but the PACK's pockets and loops are thoughtfully sized and placed to give dog moms (and dads, if you like, dudes!) access to all the items they might need on a romp with their pups.
Florigami Animal Sculptures
I know. All these expertly crafted origami animal sculptures should be called Faunigami, not Florigami. But there is more than rhyming behind the play on the words. This bestial collection of Japanese papercraft is all handmade by a Parisian named Floriane, with some help from her brother Edouard, so together they make Florigami.
Or, at least Floriane and origami make Florigami, while Edouard makes...folds without opening his fat French mouth and stealing his sister's spotlight.
All Florigami animals are original designs, and handmade by the duo, along with the handsome wood bases they sit on. Completing the sculptural display is a glass dome that protects folded elephants, dragons, unicorns, elk, wolves, and penguins from damage and fingerprints.
Vinglace Wine Bottle Chiller & Wine Glass Gift Set
They pronounce it vin-glass-ay to make sure you know this wine bottle chiller and wine glass gift set is tray class-ay.
The Vinglace Wine Bottle Chiller is a double-walled, vacuum-insulated stainless steel holder whose shapeliness matches your bottles of white wine and sparkling wine, plus red wine you prefer to drink cellar temperature, or, if you're this dude, ice cold to make it "taste less wine-y." One Vinglace fan also pointed out this Wine Bottle Chiller can fit tall, skinny bottles of French ro-say, an accommodation many other sleeve-style chillers cannot.
Like the chiller, the Vinglace Wine Glasses will keep your wine cool, courtesy of an insulating stainless steel exterior shell. However, to prevent a metallic taste from infiltrating your wine, the stemless vessels have glass inserts, so your pours - and your lips, for that matter - will never touch metal.