2023 Holiday Gift Guide: Last-Minute Gifts

I don't care how they got this ship in the bottle as long as I know how to get the booze it's sailing through out. A wood base handcrafted in Kentucky serves as a classy pedestal to the mounted glass whiskey decanter and dispenser, set off even further by a hand-etched ship built into the barrel's center.

The decanter is mouth-blown out of lead-free, durable borosilicate glass that, combined with the vessel's ground glass stopped, can hold and preserve liquor without risk of evaporation for years. It holds 1150mL of whiskey, or any other of your favorite spirits, including bourbon, vodka, rum, or wine. Or, according to seller Prestige Decanters, mouthwash.

Uuuhhh, now where does that plastic thumb go again? Up my a...bductors? OK, I'm down, Thumb Saver trigger point massage tool. I've always had tight hips. Actually, could you go in a little? Just more towards that center area right...dammit! I knew I'd end up with a thumb up my ass!

The Thumb Saver was created for deep tissue massages, as a tool both to help fix the massagee's body, and to prevent destroying that of the massager. It is made of durable ABS material that's hard enough to apply a range of pressures to knotted muscles with minimal effort, thereby saving your thumbs and related joints from the wear and tear manual massage therapists eventually experience.

Crack open a cold one, unleash the Kraken, and get the party started. Or, if you're lookin' to really tie one on, don't crack open the cold one, unleash the Krak'in, and turn the party into a rager. The Krak'in 2.0 is a beer shotgunning tool you can take anywhere, and pierce into any size can to make yourself an impromptu personal beer bong whenever the mood strikes.

The Krak'in 2.0 requires 3 simple steps to stir up the drunken debauchery: 1) Hook its lil' beak onto the bottom of your can; 2) punch its big beak into the side of the can; and 3) Chug. Chug, chug, chug, chugchugchugchug.

Who needs a new fancy frying pan to Cooksy some dinner tonight? The 9" Cooksy Hex Surface Hybrid Frying Pan is a versatile piece of cookware made to sit atop any type of cooktop, slide into ovens up to 500 degrees F, and then plunk into the dishwasher for cleanup, though you probably won't need anything more than a brush and warm water to wipe its surface clean.

We've all done it. We've all badgered someone else for doing it. And really, song lyrics misheard, mistaken, and butchered are almost always more fun than what the artists are actually singing anyway.

Bright Beam Goods has gathered up some of the most common, and most hilarious, mistaken lyrics and laser-engraved them on 4" square cork coasters. Mistaken Lyrics Coasters come in sets of 6, and are categorized by era, theme, or your own custom selections. Classic Rock, 80s, 90s, 2000s, Hip Hop, Inappropriate, and even a Meat Lover's pack feature one mistaken lyric on each coaster. It will be up to your guests to figure out which song it's from though. That information is included only in a key on the back of the set's box.

Men, are you tired of spending precious minutes in the morning grooming and edging your perfect specimen of manliness (well, the one on your face anyway) only to end up looking like your 6-year-old shaved you after you fell asleep playing Candy Land? Ladies, are you tired of your men looking like their 6-year-olds shaved them after they fell asleep playing Candy Land? Now that EDGUP has rolled in to deliver a tidy neckline, The Beard Bro would like to spiff up the ones lingering around the jaw and jowls.

The Beard Bro instructions sound pretty simple: "Line it up. Shave over the edge. Perfect lines." It's symmetry, now brought to you by speed and simplicity. The comb-on-a-corner beard-shaping tool works with a razor or clippers, and presents several different shaping choices and styling options with the adjustments of the Beard Bro's curve angle and notch measurements.

Thrive puts first aid in the palm of your hand with their Mini First Aid Travel Kit. At just 5" long a 3.75" wide x 1.5" thick, the soft zippered case is small enough to stuff in a pack, store in a glove box, or keep in a junk drawer at home so you have the basics readily available in the case of a medical mishap.

The Thrive Mini First Aid Travel Kit contains 66 hospital-grade medical supplies.

I feel like the name "Abducktion" definitely preceded the concept and rules of play for this Weirdly Strategic Duck Kidnapping Game. Some dude was under the influence of THC, or psilocybin, or Coors Light, and some other dude said the word, "abduction," and the first dude got it caught on repeat in his head, like Abduction, abduction, ab-duc-tion, abduc-sheee-on, ab-duc-duc-duc-tion, ab-duck-duck-duck...goose! Ab-duck-tion. Abducting a duck. My duck has been abduckted! It was an Abducktion!

"Dudes! We should totally make a party game about kidnapping ducks! We could call it Abducktion!"

This Coiled Snake Bottle Opener from COPPERTIST.WU is made of solid brass, with hand-carved scales to give it a weighty and uniquely textured feel, along with a sexy look, as it assists you in opening your equally sexy bottles of Bud Light Lime.

No, actually, I have a new favorite beer now: large format Asahi. Mmm, 24 ounces of Japanese genius a bottle, my dudes. And I feel like a coiled snake is quite fitting to serve as its bottle opener.

The Coiled Snake Bottle Opener measures 2.43" in diameter, and weighs 5.17 ounces. It's a great gift for the home bar, and probably also for any Paula Abdul fans still out there. C-c-c-cold hearted ooh-ah-ah-ah. C-c-c-cold hearted ssssnake.

Looking for an a-maze-ing new piece of art for your wall or housewarming gift for a game enthusiast? This Wall-Mounted Labyrinth turns tabletop play on its...side, with a fully functional game board of bends and turns, and a single route that will allow you to guide an included magnetic playing piece along the path uninterrupted. The disc shape and gray-black color of the Labyrinth board will also look handsome hanging in modern homes and apartments, especially if their residents are into the sewer manhole cover aesthetic.

This mechanical mouse jiggler is recommended by 5/5 slackers, underpaid employees, people out of PTO who need some TO, and dudes and ladies with a weird compulsion never to let their computers log off or go to sleep.

A base made to hold most standard-size mice, the mechanical mouse jiggler ensures your mouse stays active on your desktop or laptop even if you are not. According to maker Vaydeer, the sneaky gadget is undetectable by IT departments, so if your company is dictatorial about keeping tabs on its workers' working / non-working habits, your efforts to deceive them won't be discovered. At least not due to workstation cursor silence. However, when you show up at the next meeting with zero work to show for your 8 hours of login time, the mechanical mouse jiggler will be no help at all.

Twelve South's Curve Laptop Stand gets curvier with their new Curve Flex, an even more ergonomic stand that lifts and tilts your MacBook or other laptop at fully adjustable heights and angles. The Curve Flex raises laptop bases from 2" to 12" off the underlying surface to ensure the screen is always at eye level. This both relieves neck / shoulder strain and improves posture, plus ensures you're at your most flattering angle for video conferences and chats.

The Hybrid Cocktail Glass allows ye in need of a drink to measure, mix, and mmm mmm mmm down the hatch in a single vessel, without the mess of sweating tumblers, and without the buzzkill of taking sips of a watered-down margarita once your ice starts to melt. The Hybrid Cocktail Glass inserts a 12-ounce glass with measurement markings into a vacuum-insulated, double-wall stainless steel base to produce a clean and elegant drink drinking experience.

Hit 'em...no, make that don't hit 'em with a fist of light, because you'll be able to see exactly where you're going with a Torch Ring on your finger. This wearable LED flashlight was designed for nighttime (or, blech, dark-ass early winter morning) use when you're running, walking the dog, camping, hiking, or trying to give your boyfriend a hint about what you expect from him in the coming months.

Dorai Diatomaceous Earth Dish Drying Pad...no, wait, take out the "Earth." Dorai Diatomaceous Dish Drying Pad - say it 5 times fast. I'll hold while you look up how to pronounce "diatomaceous" like I did.

We've seen diatomaceous earth, a sustainable form of fossilized aquatic organisms called diatoms, used before in decorative household items. Previously, it was bath mats, thanks to the compound's ability to absorb water quickly, and its cool, minimalist stone look. Dorai takes advantage of these same qualities in their Dish Pad iteration, combining compressed diatomaceous earth (they simplify that mouthful and refer to merely as "algae") with recycled paper to create handsome folding mats they say can hold up to 150% of their weight in water, which then evaporates in seconds.

The Tail Devil attaches to skateboards in seconds via 3M mounting tape and, optional for a more secure hold, a pair of Philips head screws. In addition to tail scrapes on the ground, this Devil will spark along curbs, ledges, and pool coping. Try it at night to get even more attention / Karens' panties in a bunch.

Makers of the Tail Devil say it alone takes the impact of all your scrapes and sparks, and use won't damage or wear your skateboard's tail. They recommend the spark plate as a gift for kids, a gift for teens, and especially a gift for adult men "experiencing a midlife crisis."