Beer Gear: 16 Ways to Enhance a Cold Beer on a Hot Day

Dilution, be gone! Whether you're a beer or a whiskey lover - or need a gift for Dad who downs his fair share of both - Rabbit's Freezable Beer & Whiskey Glasses will chill your libation of choice to the perfect mouthfeel with the addition of ice. Or refrigeration, given I've never actually seen anyone put ice in a beer to chill it.

I feel like that's something my mother-in-law would do, though. To water it down. She won't drink any beer over 5% ABV.

But she'll drink Tennessee whiskey straight from the bottle. ... Haha, not. That's my mama.

Sure, I'm on the receiving end of a knuckle sandwich...again...but at least at the fist of The Beast I can wash it down with an ice cold Bud Light Lime. What? BLL is why I keep getting sucker punched in the first place? Dude, are you kidding me? It's so good. A beer of epic artificially-citrus-flavored proportions. A giant in the world of refreshing alcoholic beverages, deserving of this gargantuan foam cooling koozie. Plus, anything darker gives me heartburn.

The Beast makes for a useful and apropos accessory at Comic Con after parties, angry protests, and Pfister Sisters concerts. Wielding the man-sized koozie may require several beers' worth of practice and finesse, so be sure to unleash it only when you are prepared take on a 12-pack.

Under the motto, "Make the good times better," the Kong Bong is a combo can koozie and beer bong that transitions between the two in seconds. The insulating koozie holds beer cans, keeps 'em cold, and facilitates condensation-free polite sipping from the tab when business on the top is appropriate.

But when it's time to party on the bottom, the Kong Bong koozie's hard plastic construction lets it convert to a vessel that can also hold liquid on its own. A corrugated hose screws into the bottom of the koozie to serve as your chugging conduit and, once you've got the open end plugged with your thumb, pour up to 16 ounces of beer straight into the Kong Bong koozie. Then, prepare your pharynx.

Two Fisted Drinker makers describe their creation as, "Two beer mugs fused together by technology that is beyond our time." I couldn't agree more. As if two beers, in one hand weren't enough, this dynamic duo of steins also drinks like a single. Pour your brew into one of the mugs, and a built-in center conduit (in layman's terms: hole) will funnel the liquid back and forth between the two containers to keep their levels even as you stand, and spill-proof as you drink. Check out the video here.

Ivory soap might be 99 ^44/100% pure, but this titanium beer mug ekes out the win at 99.5%. Not that soap and titanium really merit comparison, but since they're calling this double insulated drinkware a beer mug, and beer and soap both lead to sudsing up, preferably in a Splinter Works Hammock Bathtub with a pint of pilsner, my line of thinking, as always, is still spot on.

Cups. I thumb my nose at thee. No, make that my Draft Top. I thumb my Draft Top at thee.

The Draft Top is a beer can opener that removes the entire top of aluminum beverage cans (sodie cans too). Because maybe you'd rather sip your brew than slurp it through that tiny tab hole. Maybe you want a Jack & Coke, and you have the Jack and you have the Coke, but no cup to mix them in. Or maybe your environmentally conscious self doesn't want to waste a cup. Or maybe your lazy self doesn't want to venture away from the couch and Sobro Cooler Coffee Table to get one.

So many complex reasons to use a Draft Top!

And complexity itself is Draft Top's own favorite reason to pop the whole top off your cans with their bar tool. The company says opening up more of the can also opens up more flavor so you can "experience the full aroma of your drink" without transferring it to a glass.

This is definitely the droid I'm looking for. The Keg-a-Droid from SuperDroid Robots is a remote control beer bitch built to haul a sixth barrel keg right up to the empty pint glasses of all the thirsty boys and girls at the party.

Or, like, me alone at my computer playing Fortnite.

"Throw another lager on the fire," says the Beer Caramelizer. Yuk, yuk, yuk, a flavor-enhancing campfire tool after my own heart.

While on the surface heating a poker in the 1571-degrees-Fahrenheit center of a campfire, and then sticking it in your beer sounds more like an amateur drunk move than a deliberate action taken by connoisseurs of the drink. But according to the brew bros who make the Beer Caramelizer, this is actually a centuries old practice they're just bringing back to the bonfire.

No need to weigh down or cramp up your kayak or paddleboard with a cooler when you can raft a CreekKooler to the back and paddle on with up to 30, 12-ounce cans and 20 pounds of ice in tow.

Kancooler's CreekKoolers have streamlined, kayak-like hulls that make it easy to pull behind small watercraft without disrupting your flow. You can also drag them along land, through sand or other dry ground, thanks to a trio of skids on the bottoms. When you're not on the move, the CreekKooler will just bob around next to you, eager to hand out cold beverages from between its dual-wall construction and 2" of insulation. The cooler has an ice retention period of 48 hours, and a 1/8-turn, watertight locking lid seals its contents tight inside.

CreekKoolers come in 5 different colors, all with 4 drink holders on the surface deck.

The Beer Puppeteer is a wearable Dutch drinking game, consisting of backpack straps affixed to a flat wood board, a hinged pair of 2-by-4s, and a second, smaller wood board with a cup holder cutout dangling from the 2-bys, along with a set of puppet strings. Don't worry, the donning and setup of the Beer Puppeteer are much less complicated than all that sounds. It's the playing of the drinking game that's going to challenge your skills, string you along, and have you drunk as a skunk human puppet before before you're done.

Crack open a cold one, unleash the Kraken, and get the party started. Or, if you're lookin' to really tie one on, don't crack open the cold one, unleash the Krak'in, and turn the party into a rager. The Krak'in 2.0 is a beer shotgunning tool you can take anywhere, and pierce into any size can to make yourself an impromptu personal beer bong whenever the mood strikes.