Dude's Must See Products for February 2023

Put yourself on the receiving end of some road rage with the FLIK of your wrist middle finger car windshield light. The FLIK is a partly funny, all the way horrible gadget drivers can install on the backs of their vehicles to practice, as Maverick would say, "communication" with other drivers.

Operated via remote control, the lights of the FLiK illuminate to show either a five-fingered hand waving hello, or a one-fingered hand waving, well, the one-fingered salute. Both the hand and the remote control mount to the back and front of your car with simple 3M velcro strips.

Who wants to play footsie - no, I mean footie - under the table? Subsoccer is a new kind of tabletop soccer / football game where all the action happens not on the tabletop, but under it.

Creator Jarno Saarinen came up with the idea for Subsoccer almost 15 years ago, while trying to watch 2008 EURO's Spain vs. Russia game and play with his daughter at the same time. A table surrounded by a net with attached cushioned benches serving as the goals, he calls it, "The first table football game played like real football with your feet." I'd say it's also a multi-tasker's and a fidgeter's dream.

Nu'Clear. I hope Mikhail Smolyanov has copyrighted that name for his most excellent concept motorcycle encased in bulletproof glass. Because if not, someone is definitely going to steal it. Maybe even me.

Smolyanov designed the "atom punk" Nu'Clear for the Leo Brutal Motorcycle workshop. In addition to the bulletproof glass body covering its metal chassis, a few other elements are also covered in transparent glass to enhance the bike's visuals. These include valve covers, wheel hubs, and the ethanol-filled fuel tank, the latter of which also has blue LED backlighting, reminiscent of Cherenkov radiation.

Ain't nothing getting past this sphincter! The Butt Plug Sink Plug is a mighty - and extra cheeky - addition to the bathroom on so many levels. It's silly and funny. It serves a real and useful purpose. And it allows those of us who aren't so sure about butt plugs to get in on the butt plug fun without having to plug it up our own butts.

Being on the plugging end of the Butt Plug Sink Plug is almost as good as being on the eating end of the Corn Dog Butt Plug or the Taco Holder Butt Plug. Maybe even better, depending on how you feel about munching on a corn dog or a taco that's sticking out of someone's asshole.

Be a retro Vermont mountain dude (or lady)...and up your steampunk cosplay game...with a pair of Julbo Vermont Classic Mountain Sunglasses. With their round lenses and leather side shields, Julbo calls the shades "timeless classics, and symbolic of our history with the mountains." I call them "Master Barnaby Brogley, at your service."

Moonwalkers? Hmmm. Well, these shoes that claim to make you walk at running speed definitely have the "moon" part right - they make your feet look like they're donning a big ol' pair of moon boots. The aesthetic doesn't really jibe with Moonwalkers' slogan, "The world's fastest shoes," but I guess if you're going to put 8 wheels and 300W of battery power on personal transporters that velcro onto your existing kicks, you're also going to have some resultant chunk and heft to deal with.

And while I'm no expert on all the candidates in the running for the title of The World's Fastest Shoes, if Moonwalkers are speaking truth, and can really jet me along the street like I'm power walking on one of those horizontal escalators while everyone else is moseying down the normal sidewalk, moon boots or not, I'm in.

All your dirty cars, dirty pavers, dirty patio furniture, dirty camping dishes, dirty dogs, and maybe even your dirty selves are gonna love the HotWave, a heated hose nozzle sprayer that provides on-demand hot water, no tank required.

Using electric water heating technology, HotWave connects to a standard garden hose and electrical outlet to convert the cold stream from your spigot into a warm shower of love as it flows through the hose and nozzle. The actual temperature of HotWave-heated water will vary based on the temperature of the groundwater in your location, and the water's flow rate through your hose. The warmer the groundwater and the slower the flow rate, the hotter HotWave can heat, though it has a set maximum temperature of 115 degrees.

Check out my new Oscoda Flat Nose Knife. Smithed by mine own hands. ... Nah, just kidding. I'm pretty sure Andrew St. Peter made the one you see here, because if I had, its namesake flat nose would definitely be either curved or pointy. A DIY Knife Making Kit is a real good gift for men, but not for the limited fine motor skills of this dude.

Through his SP Collective shop, St. Peter sells knife "cards" ready to be punched out, assembled, filed, and personalized into OOAK blades using a few basic hand or power tools. The Knife Making Kit consists of precut high carbon steel and laser cut scales, plus detailed instructions and links to videos on how to turn them into your very own flat nose knife.

You dudes and ladies gotten a load - or a whiff - of Chazz Genitalia-Flavored Kettle Chips yet? They're available in both D*ck and Pus*y flavors, but (oddly? obviously?) but not a mixed bag of both. And though you probably already know how at least one of them tastes, I will provide you with Lithuanian brand Chazz's description of them anyway:

"Regarding the TASTE: the taste of both Pus*y and D*ck chips is extremely good, and many who have tasted them will like them."

So there you have it, whether you want to stuff your face with a male or female crotch while watching this week's episode of The Last of Us, you'll enjoy an extremely good crotchal flavor that you will like very much. Probably. Presuming you're one of the many.

What the Chandler Bing are they doing showing the Friends Couch Sprinkler populated by people under the age of 30, who don't even know what Friends and the Friends Couch is? I mean, I know sprinklers are generally considered a summer toy for kids, and I know Friends has made a bit of a resurgence in pop culture popularity, but the Friends Couch Sprinkler is nothing if not a Millennial and Gen X specialty item. It has gift for your girlfriend - or, more likely at our ages, wife - written all over it.