Dude's Must See Products for March 2021

It's been not even 2 years since I first wrote about the best gifts I've ever given my wife. So in one way, it seems crazy that I would have compiled a whole, 11-strong list of the best gifts I've ever given my wife, part 2 in such a short time. But in another way, I think it just goes to show what a wonderful, and giving, husband I am. Especially during the tumultuous, depressing, and generally hideous year that was 2020. It was my honor to do whatever I could to present some bright spots and pockets of joy in the form of brown paper packages tied up with string to my wife and personal superhero, She-Ra: Princess of Power's life.

And, yeah OK fine, the nature of my job also means I get sent a lot of free shit.

The All-in Wonder Mount by Mount Genie is a space-saving, decluttering nylon and Velcro strap that...I'm sorry, but heh-heh, heh-heh, they said, All-in Wonder Mount, Beavis. And Mount Genie. Heh-heh, heh-heh. I'll have to ask my wife later if she wants an All-in Wonder Mount wish granted from the Mount Genie that is this guy.

So anyway, what is this product? Do I even care now that I have its hump-diddly-umptious innuendo to play with in my head all day?

Alright, alright, the All-in Wonder Mount is a commercial-grade mobile bracketing system, made largely for the electronics used by contractors and military personnel, but also happy to serve anyone who wants to temporarily mount, or rotate items they have mounted, in a specific spot on the wall.

All the cuteness, half the care, and bunny ear succulents won't drop poop pellets all over your house when you bring them out to play. With the current popularity of houseplants, succulents in particular, and the impending egg and bunny season, Monilaria obconica could make the perfect gift for your favorite green thumb, or addition to your family's Easter baskets.

Its makers say the Gel Blaster, a toy blaster that shoots eco-friendly, water-filled gel balls, is fun for ages 12 and up. With an emphasis, if the above photo is any indication, on the and up.

The Gel Blaster's pellets, called "Gellets," aren't just safe for shooters, targets, and the environment. And they don't just fire from the blaster up to 100 feet at a rate of 150 feet per second. And they aren't just available in electric blue and Gatorade orange so you can designate and clearly delineate battle squads. Gellets' shining - or rather, splattering - feature is that they burst upon impact. They say it doesn't hurt, or stain, or make a mess. But it does make a nice thwap! and a squirt! wherever it hits.

I wouldn't mind some Canoo-dling in - or, to be honest, even with - the Canoo EV Pickup Truck. This newest addition to Canoo's line of "purpose-built electric vehicles," the Canoo Pickup Truck will feature a 200-mile range and (supposed) instant acceleration with 550 lb-ft of torque. Its 6' utility truck bed fold down pretty much around the entire perimeter for easy loading and unloading of up to 1,800 pounds of materials and equipment. There is also a 2' pull-out extension to give you a little more bed space.

Things get even more fun 'n' funky at the front of the Canoo Pickup Truck, where a folding panel reveals additional storage, plus work space. The panel serves as a desktop or counter eating area, with a row of standard electrical and USB outlets running along the back.

Let me explain what I mean by 10 "I dare you" gifts. These are items either inherently weird / funny / gross, or that I've come up with something weird / funny / gross to do with so that you can present a gift to your recipient with a challenge. I dare you to eat this. I dare you to wear this. I dare you to place this near your genitals. You get the idea.

Just a little way to fight boredom, keep things interesting between family and friends. Roll your eyes at the concept if you like, but you know you want to check these products out. No? Go on. I dare you.

Pipe in the 80s and have yourself a little retro Session. In March, Session Goods issued their sleek and discreet Session Pipe in 3 sleek and not-so-discreet 80s retrowave colors. The handheld Pipe retains its smooth, modern aesthetic - a 2.5mm-thick glass form, tinted black, and tapered into a cone - but pairs it up with perfectly fitted silicone carry sleeves that pop in Paradise Yellow, Horizon Orange, and Moonlight Purple.

Lucky charms for your strain of Lucky Charms.

My Spidey Sense tells me Glass Symphony's hand-blown glass spiders are even more of a sight - or a fright - to behold in person than they are in these photos. And the photos alone are doing a pretty good job of simultaneously dazzling me and making my skin crawl.

Reminding people of vomit has always been a good way to get them to brush their teeth, but it goes a little differently when the Puking Grogu, a 3D-printed Baby Yoda toothpaste topper comes into play. Whereas normally you'd tell someone, "Dude, your breath smells like barf," and they would immediately go brush their teeth in humiliation, here we have the item serving to eliminate the vomit scent - the toothpaste - simulating vomit itself. Vomit spewing from the mouth of the most adorable creature in the galaxy.