Dude's Must See Products for November 2022

The Vast Land Incense Burner Lamp is supposed to be a great companion for yoga or meditation, but looking at it kinda brings me the opposite of relaxation and peace. That lone figure walking along a barren terrain of colorless rock formations accented by smoke, ash, and the scent of patchouli? Yeek. All that makes me think of is the future of Earth and hippies covering up their body odor.

Both of which stir up nothing but anxiety.

They're not unreal, they're NReal. They're not virtual reality, they're augmented reality. NReal Air AR Glasses aren't a bunch of fake shit, they're a bunch of real shit...with a bunch of fake shit sprinkled in to make them better, and also to make you question what's real and what's fake. Like pretty much everything else in life right now.

No, wait, that's a dark path to travel down, and truly not where I want to lead you in discussing NReal Air AR Glasses, which are actually all about the light. Light in the form of technicolor, cinema-grade viewing experiences with their 130" Full HD display in Air Casting Mode, or 201" Full HD display and real world augmentations in Air AR Space mode.

Death By Toys Parody Playsets are here to slay your White Elephant and Dirty Santa parties this year thanks to one dude, and one dude alone. Dan Polydoris calls himself a "one-man action figure boutique," and from conception to creation, he does it all to bring these awful and awfully funny limited edition packaged sets to life.

Above you see Polydoris' Fun with Electricity Playset, featuring a power outlet and a fork. Don't worry, stuck-up Aunt Jan, and all the stuck-up Aunt Jans of the world, the outlet doesn't work. And the fork is plastic, so you could actually stick it in one of the outlets in your house that does.

Hark! It's a Hork! Randimals Stuffed Animals are huggable mashups of our finest furry, feathered, scaled, and cartilaginous friends. Above you see the Randimals Hork, one possible outcome of a horse mated with a shark. I say "one possible outcome" because in my vision of a horse mated with a shark, the resultant plush toy would look like a giant shark with a horse-shaped protrusion sticking out of its belly.

Randimals says their "creation story" is one of "celebrating difference - recognizing that we are all unique and have something special to offer." Now how they got from that to a T-Rex crossed with a bumblebee I do not know, but, dudes, I'm here for it. And the name of that particular Randimal? B-Rex, of course.

Oh how I love to read about cognitive biases to see all the ones that apply to my father-in-law, my Aunt Jan, and my black-hearted ex-girlfriend Karen.

Oh how I hate to read about cognitive biases to see all the ones that apply to myself.

Created by yourbias.is, this Cognitive Biases Wall Poster provides the names and brief descriptions of 24 of the most common biases that affect our thinking. And, in turn, actions.

This Heated Windshield Ice Scraper looks like a SkyMall especiale! (RIP SkyMall, at least from the skies. I've heard you can still shop their 1980s-era gadgets online.) And you know what that means: gift for Dad, ordered and done!

The old man will especially appreciate the Heated Windshield Ice Scraper's heating method, which is a coil on its underside powered by a 15' cord (a cord!) with a 12V plug that inserts into his car's cigarette lighter (the cigarette lighter!) Forget wireless and rechargeable, this electronic gem is going full-on functional nostalgia!

I was going to do a writeup of 22 gifts for $25 or less in 2022, but, you know. Inflation. Still, I'd say about half of those I've included here will cash you out of your shopping cart for under the $25 mark, and none of them will make you seem cheap to your recipient.

Let the stealing begin! My 20 white elephant gifts for 2022 include many a snatch-worthy piece of swag. I myself believe the highlight of the collection is the 2023 Cat Balls Calendar, which should tes-tickle the whole room, and drive everyone nuts trying to seize it to stuff in their own scrotum...uh, I mean Santa...sack.

There was a farmer who had a net, and Flingo was its name-o / F-L-I-N-G-O, F-L-I-N-G-O, F-L-I-N-G-O / And Flingo was its name-o. (I'm pretty sure he used it to play 70-yard fetch with his dog Bingo to help calm himself when another annoying school group came to tour his farm singing that damn camp song.)

And speaking of dogs and fetch, Flingo creators Cassidy Labs describe their game as the "CHUCK-IT ball launcher meets a butterfly net," in this case giving you the option to hurl a tennis-style ball up to 70 yards* to either your dog or another Flingo-Net-wielding human on the other end**.

*Presumably, even if you're not Tom Brady.

**Presumably, Tom Brady will be playing Flingo with his dog now that Gisele dumped him.

Oh, man, has the Dude got some approved gifts for you. Not just a dozen, and not just two dozen of them...oh, wait. How many is two dozen? 24? Right, then. The Dude has exactly two dozen approved gift ideas for men this holiday season.

I would also be willing to approve them for any other season you're gift hunting for a guy who has yet to own a dude-approved gift for men.

When it comes to your women, your ladies, your girls, your honeys, and your boos, dude. The Dude's got you. Ladies shopping for women, ladies, girls, honeys, and boos...dude. The Dude's got you too. Here are 19 Dude-approved gifts for women in 2022.

And by "nice gifts," I mean "sexy gifts," and by "naughty," I mean...you and yours, dudes and ladies! All of yours. Some assless yoga pants for your girlfriend. A spiraling male masturbator for your single brother. A couples' sex toy advent calendar for partners to share. A book on Masturbation for All Genders & Abilities for the awkward teens. There's even a nice pair of plastic clogs for dad.

What's sexy about plastic clogs? Nothing at all, but they're made from recycled sex toys.