Presenting the Alphabet: 16 Gifts that Start with I

Now that Star Wars Sunshade season is over, it's time to haul out the Wampa Ice Mitt. Or take iceScreen's advice and chuck the scraper in a dumpster. iceScreen creators Dan Miller and Andy Wright have developed a magnetic windshield cover they say will eliminate the need to scrape a snowy or crystallized front window ever again. And if you find yourself at odds with the Millennium Falcon crew next June, you can also flip the iceScreen over to reflect the sun and keep your car's innards cool in the summer.

Self-described as "Better than a cold shower-and a lot funnier," Graham Johnson and Rob Hibbert's Images You Should Not Masturbate To supplies an ideal source of erection control when one is in an environment that does not lend itself well to a sudden erection. Church. A public speaking engagement. Meeting your girlfriend's surprisingly vivacious and young-looking mom. Seriously, they could have been sisters!

Anti-chicken-choking and monkey-spanking pages appear as full-color images of sometimes-bizarre, always unsexy objects and scenes. Well, except for the one of the guy in the woods wearing tighty whities and a rabbit head. That's hot.

Has it been a while since you've done an ice block shot? Too long? And I'll bet your stuck-up Aunt Jan and Great Uncle George have never done one. Know what that means? It's the perfect addition to Thanksgiving dinner and Christmas morning.

I actually can't say this too often but yeah, I'm the Dude. And yeah, Iglucraft, I want that. Iglucraft handcrafted saunas and cabins are 1-person to family-sized outdoor retreats. The former is of a hot spa-like persuasion to soothe the body, and the latter a weekend - or backyard - getaway to ease the mind.

Iglucraft builds Igluhuts and Iglusaunas to suit various buyer needs and preferences, but all of them share their charming shingle siding and quaint domed shape. For the Iglusauna, the curved design is also functional, allowing steam to travel upward from the central heater, and then drift back down along the side walls once it hits the ceiling, to fill the entire space quickly.

I don't like the Icky Stick just because I get a kick out of its branding schtick. I mean, that's the biggest reason, but so too am I interested in this hand pipe's claim that it has been "specially designed to provide an unbeatably smooth smoke." Whether you're using tobacco, or another of your precious herbs.

Backed by solid reviews and a shiny, bullet-shaped body as smooth as its hits say they'll be, the Icky Stick aims to smoke out other handheld pipes with its interior maze filtration system. Once lit, this labyrinth directs smoke along a 32cm maze path, cooling it to happy sloth levels of chill before the clean, mellow toke touches your tongue.

Doc & Phoebe's Indoor Hunting Cat Feeder gives your feline friend the chance to play cat and mouse every night, in the house, and without a dead rodent at your feet as the endgame. Stimulating cats' hunting instincts, the mouse-shaped, bowl-free feeders help keep them from getting bored indoors, plus keep them active as they stalk the little sucker down, and dig claw-and-tooth into its small top openings to extract the mouse's kibble guts.

Making minor decisions is one of my least favorite activities in life, so Inconsequential Dilemmas: 45 Flowcharts For Life's Peskier Questions is like a gift from the Baby Jesus - or Santa Claus, or the Easter Bunny, or one of his other representatives - to me. Can I park here? Should I eat this street food? Am I too old to be at this party? I don't know, but in clear, straightforward, and illustrated form, this book is going to give me the answers to 44 questions I wrestle with on a weekly basis!

I say 44, not 45, because the answer to the question of whether or not I should eat food I just dropped on the floor is always a definitive Yes.

And the best part is, the Icepo Perfect Portion Ice Cream Sandwich Scoop scoops out perfect, 1/2-cup portions to make ice cream sandwiches out of store-bought cookies, so it's even less work to make yourself a delicious ice cream sandwich as a reward for a hard day's work writing about Icepo Perfect Portion Ice Cream Sandwich Scoops.

The Icepo is made up of a stainless steel cutter and high-tensile wires maker Dreamfarm says will easily push into - and then push back out - all types of ice cream. Smooth and chunky, icy and creamy, real and fake (i.e., vegan) alike. The Icepo has a one-handed design, with directions to push-and-twist to cut into and grab a hunk of i.c., and then hit the Eject lever to spit it back out onto your chocolate chip or butter toffee plate.

A dude in an Ice Barrel? A 100-gallon barrel filled with water and...ice? This photo is a still of a torture scene they're filming for some, like, Russian spy movie right? Gah! And I thought the Glacial Shower was a ridonkulous idea. Listen, I know athletes and crazy Dutchmen use cold therapy (cryotherapy if you're fancy) for everything from recovery to rehab to stress reduction to depression and anxiety relief, but, but...can't I just take a pill for all those things?

Oh, and this is the best - and by best I mean worst - part: the Ice Barrel is designed for year-round outdoor use. It will cool you off on a hot summer day, or help you "embrace your inner polar bear in the middle of winter."

Who knew The New York Times has chronicled the Star Wars saga as hard as the rest of us fanboys and girls out here? The only difference, as you might notice in their In a Galaxy Far, Far Away coffee table book, is that the Times' coverage is a little more journalistic than, say, my review of the Return of the Jedi Wall Clock, and slightly better written than my short story on a Chewbacca-Leia love affair (will spare you a link to that one.)

The I F**king Love You Morse Code Necklace from Cursing in Code falls somewhere between an engagement ring and the You Is Fine Bears when it comes to gifts for your girlfriend that will make her heart melt this holiday season.