Presenting the Alphabet: 16 Gifts that Start with K

Both the best and the worst part about the Kama Pootra is that many of its 52 Mind-Blowing Ways to Poop turn a visit to the crapper into a group activity. I mean, on the one hand, who couldn't use a little help pinching one off every now and then? Particularly the morning after a starchy, colon-clogging meal of, say, 1.2 pounds of turkey floating in a mote of mashed potatoes and gravy, all cordoned off by a 6" wall of stuffing, and punctuated by a couple slices...quarters...of pumpkin and pecan pies. Look at The Cheerleader. Or The Wheelbarrow. Now that's the kind of significant other moral support, the kind of love in sickness and in health that I'm talking about!

But on the other hand, I've always kind of valued poo time as Me Time. Sure, the shitter is a place to shit (...unless the shitter's full...) but it's also a place to reflect. To decompress. To nearly pop a blood vessel in your forehead and rip your own self a new one while forcing out that last log of brownified Domino's pizza your excretory system did not make good on delivering in 30 minutes or less.

This K-9 Kannon indeed looks like a device over which the dogs slated to retrieve its blasted tennis balls are going to go apeshit. It fires up to 75 feet...consistently, not just those one or two times you really focus and line up with good body position and engage your core on the throw...and features a hands-free pickup design and built-in extra ball storage.

Originally developed by a doctor for rehab patients with knee, hip, and back injuries, Kangoo Jump anti-gravity boots provide former runners with an option for continuing their cardiovascular torture of choice nearly impact-free. The additional rebound exercises users can perform while wearing them have also integrated Kangoo Jumps into some gyms and specially designed fitness classes. As indicated by the photos, the Kangoo Jump aesthetic is very...elaborate...and the sight of people Kangoo Jumping en masse smacks of a Wayans Brothers spoof.

I'm choppin' some wood, splittin' some kindlin', buildin' a fire...naw. I'm really just sitting at my keyboard eating some turkey & gravy potato chips. Yeah, I couldn't believe they were real when I saw the bag either, but they are. They're real and they are delicious. This Kindling Cracker is pretty alright too. It was designed by a teenager in New Zealand looking for a way to make splitting firewood less likely to result in split body parts.

Her method eliminates the biggest offender, the axe, from the equation altogether. The Kindling Cracker design is simple, a cast iron splitting head mounted inside a 12" cast iron frame. To split, place a piece of wood inside the iron safety ring and whack it with a blunt instrument - hammer, mallet, another piece of wood, take your pick.

Count the ways you can configure your Kijaro Kubie! This multi-use blanket is shaped to perform 8 unique outdoor functions. They include: Insulated Poncho; Ground Cover; Sleeping Bag; Pillow; Hammock; Hammock Liner; Under Quilt; and Shade Canopy.

This one's for the ladies! The Kula Cloth looks like a potholder, and indeed has highly absorptive powers, but in this case the camping and hiking companion isn't sucking up heat, it's sucking up pee. The Kula Cloth is an antimicrobial companion ladies can use to wipe themselves dry and tidy when they're basking in the beauty of nature and another nature starts to call.

Yes, in simplest terms the Kula Cloth is a pee cloth. But its female designers say they've created an elevated version of the traditional bandana or scrap of fabric that turns the Kula into "an extremely intentional piece of gear." One that looks and packs nice, has antimicrobial properties that keep it from reeking after you use it, and maintains the responsible outdoor enthusiast's standard of leave no trace.

Pretty KUDUde. This open fire grilling system brings swingin' versatility to your outdoor pitmaster endeavors with a grill grate and cast iron skillet ring / pan that allow for grilling, sauteeing, searing, frying, boiling, smoking, and steaming.

Gotta say, I'm a big fan of mounting things. And while the Keyhole Companion is a specialized tool for making it easier to mount things with only a specific type of slot, I can still see how this no-measure helper could be very helpful in mounting...artwork and shelving and tech accessories! What did you think I was talking about, you dirty-minded dudes?

Who wants a coupla shiners? From your fists to their eyes, these strap-on Knuckle Lights shine 150-lumen beams into the face of any who cross your path while running, walking, or making your way to a good wee-wee spot in the forest while camping at night. The Knuckle Lights are also good for simply illuminating your path so you don't trip or run into anything.

Under the motto, "Make the good times better," the Kong Bong is a combo can koozie and beer bong that transitions between the two in seconds. The insulating koozie holds beer cans, keeps 'em cold, and facilitates condensation-free polite sipping from the tab when business on the top is appropriate.

But when it's time to party on the bottom, the Kong Bong koozie's hard plastic construction lets it convert to a vessel that can also hold liquid on its own. A corrugated hose screws into the bottom of the koozie to serve as your chugging conduit and, once you've got the open end plugged with your thumb, pour up to 16 ounces of beer straight into the Kong Bong koozie. Then, prepare your pharynx.

Nothing like dropping a deuce in nature...and then toppling over into it, or perhaps a bunch of leaves and twigs that can't wait to give you an anal probe. The Krapp Strapp says, No more! Not to the pooping in the woods, of course - ye hunters, campers, and hikers can't always help that - but to the awkwardness, the discomfort, and the potential danger of it.

A simple, low tech assistant for taking an off-grid dump, the Krapp Strapp consists of a nylon strap that wraps around a tree or other post, and an adjustable back support harness that takes some of the strength, balance, positioning, and hanging-onto-a tree-with-your-arms requirements out of the process.

There are fun cat toys. There are frustrating cat toys. There are evil cat toys. And then there's the KiTiDOT red dot laser pointer cat collar. A collar with a built-in projector of a perpetually un-pounceable red dot that the victim himself must bear and beam to his own torment! It even has 3 different lighting modes!