Presenting the Alphabet: 21 Gifts that Start with M

Matador has condensed a comfy, water-repellent, puncture-resistant, 55" x 44" blanket into a 4.8-ounce square small enough to, oh yeah, slide in your pocket. Taking an impromptu stroll on the beach with a girl who mentions she would also take an impromptu roll in the hay, if only you had a smooth and roomy respite from the sand for bodily crevice protection? Oh hey, Miss Queen of Brilliant Ideas, lookee what I just found in my pocket. A full-size blanket with lightly weighted corners for maximal coverage even on breezy nights!

And it's not even in the side you were asking about. That side's just happy to see you.

Easily make medicinal butter, oils, tinctures, lotions, and sauces. Hear that? MagicalButter is so named for its power to convert healing herbs into healing herb culinary creations. So start coughing and breaking into a cold sweat. Then grab a bottle of Everclear and couple sticks of Land O' Lakes and check out the manual to see how feeling much, much better can be as easy as 1...2...weeeeed!

Mr. Stay Puft's got nothing on my Mallow Bow. Sure, he can stomp on people, toss cars, and tear down buildings, but I can dole out cavities, high blood sugar, and toothaches. Straight to the kisser from 60' away!

The MMX Marshmallow Crossbow is a handcrafted firing mechanism designed to shoot "fresh slightly dry regular sized marshmallows." Yes, that's right. Now you have a bitchin' application for that bag that went stale after you passed out from too much whiskey 'n' S'mores before sealing it back up. Marshmallow Bows are made from natural materials in Vancouver, BC.

Maybe "All-Thing" is a slight exaggeration. The magic Opener EXTREME won't open a corked wine bottle. Or a bag of chips. Or, ladies, his heart to you. But it will open a lot. Beer bottles, screw-top bottles, pull-tab food and sodie cans. All without breaking your nails, slicing your fingers, or forcing you to ask someone stronger to do it.

Remember Pretentious Beer Glasses? Well meet the next step up (or down, depending on how you view beer snobbery): Narcissistic Beer Glasses. Also known as The Monti Taste Collection. These 4 glasses have been designed and calibrated to deliver IPAs, Pilsners, pints, and 12-ounce bottles of Bud to your lips in the tastiest and showiest way possible. Use The Monti Taste Collection set to enhance the taste not only of your beer, but of the superiority you'll feel drinking it.

This mechanical mouse jiggler is recommended by 5/5 slackers, underpaid employees, people out of PTO who need some TO, and dudes and ladies with a weird compulsion never to let their computers log off or go to sleep.

A base made to hold most standard-size mice, the mechanical mouse jiggler ensures your mouse stays active on your desktop or laptop even if you are not. According to maker Vaydeer, the sneaky gadget is undetectable by IT departments, so if your company is dictatorial about keeping tabs on its workers' working / non-working habits, your efforts to deceive them won't be discovered.

Where there's smoke, there's fire, but where there's juuust a little bit of smoke, hopefully there's a Micro Smoke Machine. Creator Wayne Berendhuysen of Wayne's Workshop calls his terrific handheld gadget the Costronica Pocket Smoke. Powered by 3 x AAA batteries, it can pump out the foggy ambience for all your wee cosplay, costume, photography, and Little Engine That Could endeavors.

mmmmmClassic. Nope, it's not the new Quizno's tagline, it's Marseille Inc.'s mClassic, a plug-and-play graphics card for your gaming console. One its makers call a "world's first" in its ability to boost a game's content in real time, upscaling each pixel to 4K resolution with virtually no lag as you play.

Know what MonkeyFeet mean? No more sticking that dumbbell in your sweaty knee crease to do some donkey kicks and fire hydrants. The ability to do ham curls and weighted leg extensions without fancy gym machines. With nary more than a dumbbell or two, in fact. Oh, and you think MonkeyFeet enabling you to attach and lift dumbbells with your feet means you can't lift heavy on leg day? Nope! Each MonkeyFoot can support a dumbbell of up to 160 pounds! Woo-hoo!

Let the excuses end, and the torture begin.

Not sure Matador Meggings are right for you, dudes? Not sure any leggings, even those designed especially for men and their anatomies, are masculine enough for a place on your legs and crotchal region? Well. Matador Meggings creator, Valentine Aseyo, has this question for you: "Show me a superhero that doesn't wear leggings. I'll wait."

Make me a pack mule, and I look like an ass. But make me a mammoth, and I become a King of the Pleistocene. Mammoth Grips are extra-strong carry handles that enable you to double, triple, maybe even octuple your load without compromising its stability or your control, and without ripping up your hands and fingers during transport.

It's balls to the wall, all hands on deck, powers aligned, hail Mary, Care Bears Stare time! MS18, get your flash out here! Let's show 2022 the light. 100,000 lumens of light! Powerful enough to sear away darkness and illuminate hope as it blazes through even the bleakest of times. ... Or, you know, up to 135 unobstructed meters ahead.

The MS18 100,000 Lumen Flashlight is great for hiking, camping, caving, exploring, power outages and other emergencies, and telling all your friends you own the brightest flashlight on the market.

The mysteries of the ocean meet the mysteries of the skies in the Mushlume UFO, an aquarium filled with bioluminescent dinoflagellates that's shaped like a UFO. And a mushroom. It's an "unidentified fun object." Certainly developed by people who have never been drunk or high when brainstorming product ideas.