Presenting the Alphabet: 22 Gifts that Start with P

Holiday stress and depression. Recession gloom. Anger of your favorite movies and TV shows vanishing from HBO Max. Methinks 2023 is gonna be the Year of the Pep Talk. Oh, hey, here's a Pep Talk Generator Poster to help us all out.

The Pool Punisher reminds us there are pool floats that mean pool floatin', and pool floats that mean pool business. And this inflatable tank with a built-in water cannon means pool business. The giant pool toy does a decent job of shaping and decorating itself like a military tank ready for battle, and an even better job of taking that battle to water with its "armor": a deep inset seat for a single rider; and a pump action squirt gun able to blast liquid ammo up to 50'.

New year, new you...from the inside out with Poop Like a Champion cereal! Cleanse your colon of 2022 - or maybe just the indulgences of New Year's Eve - with this number-two-inducing blend of soluble and insoluble fiber packed into little nuggets in the shape of the superstar you'll feel like after your bowels meet a bowl of Poop Like a Champion cereal.

OK, maybe a bowl of Poop Like a Champion cereal, plus an hour or two for its corn bran, whole grain sorghum flour, psyllium husk, and inulin to take effect.

Pocket Shot ups their slingshot game with the Pocket Shot Pro Arrow Pouch. Where the original slingshot reinvented shooting with a stretchy pouch that fires steel slugs, marbles, .4 cal paintballs, and Airsoft ammo, this one graduates archers and hunters to full-size archery arrows.

The Pindaloo Skill Toy says it's a great gift for kids and adults alike. And after watching the YouTube video of the U-tube in action, I have to agree. I give the Pindaloo 2 pipe ends up, and have just bought a batch for all my nieces and nephews, plus Mario and Luigi.

The Pindaloo was developed to help children learn through play. In this case the learning comes in the form of hand-eye coordination, agility, and precision; and the play comes through circling a yellow ball - or two - through the Pindaloo tube. I imagine the feel is similar to juggling, with many tricks possible for advanced Pindaloo-ers. With the exception of subbing out the balls for knives or watermelons.

Hey, hey, pull my fire! DOOSH! Instant log ignition. Now. Wanna make it bigger?

Pull my finger.

The Pull Start Fire is a super simple (at least from the looks of the GIF) means of lighting a campfire, bonfire, or emergency flames for smoke signals that requires no matches or lighter. Or for that matter, skills with a ferro rod or fire piston. According to its makers, this pull string firestarter also burns 2 times hotter than the competition, and for 30 to 40 minutes on its own so logs have ample time to catch without kindling.

Pancake + Waffle = PanWaffle. If you're being unimaginative. I can think of so many better names for this hybrid pan ready to griddle me 2 delicious breakfast staples in one. Like, Have Your Pancake and Waffle It Down Too. Or Flapjack Up Your Waffle. Or Pwaffke.

Alright. I guess PanWaffle's fine.

The PanWaffle griddle presses, molds, and turns out the best of a fluffy, smooth pancake, and a crisp, syrup-corralling waffle in a single batch. Never again will you have to cap off your raging Saturday night with the excruciating Sunday morning decision of whether to feed your hangover pancakes or waffles.

Don't get too excited, fishermen. Power Reels might help you build the strength to pull in the big one, but these dumbbell-resistance band hybrids are all about self-imposed, not catch-imposed, sweat, burn, and grunt. A portable fitness tool and total body gym, Power Reels are designed to provide constant resistance over the full range of the exercise you're using them for, making your muscles work harder to move weight that feels much more intense than the 3-, 5-, and 8-pound resistances the Reels come in.

If the Mario Bros. Fire Flowers aren't popping up in your neighborhood this year, Ellusionist magician Adam Wilber has another little something that will help you launch fireballs from your empty hands. The Pyro Mini is an open-palm fireshooter, and a sleek, compact, upgraded version of the original flame roller Wilber developed in 2014.

The double-barreled Pyro Mini has been streamlined for easy and, when treated responsibly, safe use. Fireball kindling comes in Flash Packs, a treated tissue paper that burns super fast and disappears just as quick. At 50% smaller than the original Pyro, the Pyro Mini can ignite and eject its flame spheres without drawing attention to the wrist unit itself. No bulk, no awkwardness, no clues given about the badass source of your badass sorcery.

The Poop Knife is here to help slice your most delightful doodoo delicacies with the deftness of a sushi chef. Mmmm, this shit's good.

I joke, I joke. And so does the Poop Knife. It was the best gag gift of 2020, a year when we all spent way too much time at home sitting on our couches, eating gobs of takeout, and clogging up our toilets.

See, the Poop Knife isn't for slicing and dicing turds for toothsome endeavors, it's for breaking up the big boys to ensure they take a smooth trip down the tubes. A journey through the plumbing pipes that doesn't end with you huffing and puffing at the other end of a plunger.

Despite its Russian doll appearance, Pakayak construction differs little from that of the most respected kayaks available today. The segmented boats are made of kayak-specific plastic resin and interlock with a 275-pound capacity strength and watertight construction. The resilient design follows one that has already shown success in the SCUBA industry - it also makes underwater dive cameras and dive lights possible. Pakayak sections maintain their seal with a 4-point clamping technology that also creates bulkheads at the connection points. The company says these bulkheads actually increase the overall strength of the boat because they are stronger than the hull itself.

Pakayaks should take no more than 5 minutes to assemble, and during use they should feel and paddle just like a traditional kayak. =

Privacy Pop is a tent that attaches to most any standard-issue twin, full, or queen-size bed to form a cocoon of seclusion while sleeping, studying, or performing other -ing endeavors that require shielding from the curious eyes of third parties.

Privacy Pop is also an effective way to keep the blinding light of morning from infiltrating your peaceful state of slumber/heavy drunken pass out post-winning the dorm's Irish Car Bomb Challenge.

The bed tent earns the "Pop" part of its moniker from its easy portability and compaction traits. Privacy can travel anywhere now, folding down into a small carrying case for use not only during stints at college and Buddhist communes, but also rowdy vacations or sleepovers when alone time is at a premium.

I don't even know where to begin with Power Idolz Wireless Charging Docks. How about, that they're wireless charging docks is the least interesting thing about them? These "characters" from iconic 70s and 80s movies, plus a Sonic the Hedgehog thrown in for good measure, feature the arms, legs, and notable accessories of ET, Marty McFly from Back to the Future, one of the Ghostbusters, and Quint from Jaws. But instead of heads and chests, maker Numskull has given the Power Idolz exact miniature replicas of the VHS cassettes and gaming cartridges they represent.

Patch up your wounds without gouging, stinging, cutting, scraping, burning, or blistering the environment with PATCH bandages, first aid adhesive strips strips made from bamboo fiber that create zero waste post-use. PATCH Bamboo Bandages are 100% compostable and biodegradable, breaking down and ready for reabsorption back into the earth in 10 weeks after you discard them.