Stuff to Help You Poop

Fiber is a mover and a shaker, especially inside your GI tract. Poop Like a Champion Cereal boasts a number-two-inducing blend of soluble and insoluble fiber, packed into little nuggets the shape of the superstar you'll feel like after your bowels meet a bowl of it.

OK, maybe a bowl of Poop Like a Champion cereal, plus an hour or two for its corn bran, whole grain sorghum flour, psyllium husk, and inulin to take effect.

Think posturally correct pooping. Yes, it's a thing. Sitting on your porcelain sidekick with your feet resting on a 9" stool, torso pitched forward approximately 35 degrees, is going to improve the efficacy of your poops. Put an end to your constipation. Alleviate your hemorrhoids. Prevent the colon disease you can just feel coming on some days, such as when you eat Taco Bell and Carl's Jr. in one sitting. The Squatty Potty is going to make you a gloriously healthier you!

That's what they say, anyway. And at under $30, can't hurt much to give it a shot squat.

I mean, how did Vibrant figure out that swallowing a vibrating pill could create an internal laxative effect? Be honest guys. Someone swallowed one of those bullet vibrators and came in for emergency surgery and a pants full of poo, didn't they? And you were like, Dammit, not again! But...always with the poo. The vibrator...and the poo. Hmmm....

Though not yet available in the US, the Israeli-made Vibrant Capsule has undergone full development and study through phase II testing with the undeniable effect of curing constipation through vibration. It's a pill with a classic casing, but instead of drugs and chemicals inside, it has a data receptor that receives information from a base unit to make it begin vibrating. That movement induces peristalsis, the natural constriction / relaxation of your intestinal walls that create wavelike movements, pushing your poop along and out the back door. So, yep, the Vibrant Capsule is yet another way a little vibration can assist in your efforts to get some motion in the ocean.

I could probably write a whole blog on stuff to help you poop in the woods, but for now we'll stick with what most hikers, campers, and environmentalists would probably consider the most important: stuff to help you bury your poop in the woods.

TentLab's Deuce is an ultra lightweight backpacking trowel that will help you deal with all kinds of shit during hiking and camping trips. At 0.6 ounces, or the weight of 3-1/2 teaspoons of water, the Deuce is your righthand man for cover-ups. Your cleaner. Your perfect 6-inch-deep gravedigger for the bodily function you gotta get rid of quick, before it infiltrates a water source, or another hiker's shoe.

The opposite of the Pooping Please Come Back Later Doorknob Sign, because some people work better under pressure. And nothing says Shit or get off the pot! more effectively than a Toilet Timer. This little john-specific sand timer keeps everyone who enters the bathroom to an honest 5 minutes of destruction time per squat.