Sweeties, Sisters, Mamas & Becky: 2019 Gifts for Women

A crock in name, but no crock in action. I have personally bought 5 of these Butter Bell babies as gifts for different women on my holiday shopping list this year.

In addition to lookin' purdy sittin' on the kitchen countertop, Butter Bell Crocks use a little water in their base to create an airtight seal that keeps butter fresh without refrigeration. So she - and by proxy you? - will always have smooth and spreadable churned moo juice at your knife's disposal.

Ladies...and dudes who are being honest will squee! their hearts out for the Egguins. Animi Causa's egg holder uses the arms of penguins to cradle delicate ovine shells as their own bellies - so precious! - and then lower them gently into...hard boiling water that will surely cook the penguins along with the eggs.

Huh. From precious to disturbing in 5 seconds or less.

Boiling penguins aside, the Egguins holder is an egg cooker, storer, and server that exhibits Animi Causa's trademark ingenuity in design. It really is equal parts functional and adorable, right up there with the company's Nessie family of kitchen utensils, and Spaghetti Monster Colander.

Intelex Cozy Body Slippers. One of Oprah's Favorite Things for 2019, and one of the most no-fail gifts ever. Especially when you can stick them in the microwave to make them magnificently warm and cozy. And especially when they're extra plush and soft to the touch. And especially, especially when they come in colors Chewbacca and Wampa. (Click here for Chewie.)

Fetching yet fierce. The Knuckle Duster Double Ring is a piece of avant-garde jewelry from Tzufit Moshel. It comes in gold brass or sterling silver, and to make it way easier if you don't know her ring size, is one-size-fits-all - each ring of the duster is open and therefore fully adjustable.

KARECEL Hand Warmers might not be able to keep the polar vortex out of her whole body, but they can kick off a cascade of heat in her fingers that is particularly good for fighting indoor chills in, say, ridiculously cold office spaces and the homes of cheap Aunt Jans who won't set their thermostat above 65.

Give a pair of Flip'em the Bird Gloves as a gift for your girlfriend and find out just what a gift that keeps on giving...possibly back to you...can mean. This line of fingerless gloves are made of soft, stretchy acrylic to keep hands warm, and printed with a brightly-colored tweety bird on the money finger to keep informative gestures at the ready. But come on, who could possibly get upset when you flip 'em this bird? He's adorable.

Adorable AF, if we're being true to the spirit of Flip'em the Bird Gloves.

The Womanizer will never not be on a top gifts for women list I create. The German-made "clitoral sucking toy" lures in ladies and the hapless, gift-buying men in their lives with its PleasureAir technology, a feature that stimulates the clitoris without direct contact. No, I don't know why that translates to longer, more intense, multiple, and no-fail orgasms either, but the number of Amazon reviews containing the word "amazing" in them suggests touchless clitoral stimulation isn't just pseudoscience or lip service.

Well. Maybe a different kind of lip service.

Slow Dance is an optical illusion and a piece of art. Creator Jeff Lieberman builds the framed sculptures to hold real items - feather, flowers, leaves, small branches, your empty snack-size Doritos bag - and make them appear to move in slow motion.

Slow Dance's 2" pine wood frame surrounds a pedestal with an electromagnet, two springs, and two clips that can hold two different objects in the frame. Recessed LED lighting and a control center on the bottom of the piece provide the optics, the latter containing both a brightness knob and a mode button. Modes will cycle the Slow Dance through different patterns, from slow and smooth to energetic, making the object inside look like it's jumping through space.

Does she like Star Wars? Better question: do you? From Leia fangirls to Beckys who could use a little push towards badassery, Be More Leia is a guide to self-empowerment, by way of rebellion, leadership, activism, and, most of all, humor.