The Weirdest Men's Grooming Products That Actually Work

Indian healing clays aren't anywhere near new, but they might be new to your radar, as they were to mine. They're centuries-old beauty solutions for fighting acne and assuaging skin irritations. Supposedly, similar bentonite clays were used by Cleopatra, ancient Roman spas, and people from France, such as the priest Kneipp and the Conehead Beldar. This particular brand hails from the prolific Aztec population living in...uh, California's Death Valley...and is sun-dried for up to 6 months to turn it into the powdered form that gets packaged for use in facials, body wraps, clay baths, foot soaks, insect bite and poison ivy treatments, and chilled clay muscle recovery packs.

Elephant Ear, which looks like a bottle of Windex with a hose for a spout...oh wait, it's a trunk! Ha! I figured it was called Elephant Ear just because it's for people with elephantine quantities of wax clogging their canals, but this makes the name doubly awesome!

So the Elephant Ear bottle system has a trunk that inserts into the opening of a waxy ear and then guides the flow of a peroxide and warm water solution into it. Users should tilt the ear getting ear-igated towards their shoulder and hold, or have their friend Cornelius hold, some sort of catch basin underneath the earlobe to catch the water that will trickle out. As the bottle empties, it will draw up wax deposits and drive them out of the ear as well.

Bushbalm is for the men who know that if they really want a little less conversation, a little more action please they must devote the same care to the areas surrounding their doer that they do to those surrounding their sayer.

Bushbalm softens, scents, and spruces up pubic hair with natural oils and fragrances subtle, classic, or exotic. It can also help prevent and soothe ingrown hairs, reducing redness and irritation with the use of Jojoba and Tea Tree oils. And! Bushbalm is unisex, so ladies, you can use the mixture on your glorious crotch 'fros too. And! Both men and women who go for the Brazilian bare look will find the same Bushbalm properties that keep their nether regions clean and chill when grown out work just as well on a frictionless and follicle-free surface.

I don't know what medieval witch magic Baby Foot puts in their Exfoliant Foot Peel to produce the skin-molting effects you see before you but, even though it would make perfect sense here, I promise you it's not snake oil. Have a look at the ingredient list yourself. My girlfriend says two near the top, lactic acid and glycolic acid, usually show up in her face peels, but...damn. If her face peeled off like that I'd tell her to go back to Jaqen.

Whatever Baby Foot brews in their solution that, 5 to 7 days after you apply it, makes all the dead skin on your feet peel off in sheets, it's no joke. There are literally thousands of reviews of this foot beautifier, from all kinds of men and women, and dozens of customer photos showing sickly fascinating individual results.

I also...uh...did my due diligence...and tried it myself. And all I can say is, happy picking!