Brainwave-Controlled Jedi Trainer

Posted: January 18, 2012

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Do you believe in the power of the human mind? If you said yes, and you are not a Buddhist monk, yogi master, hypnotist, or cult leader, you probably also believe in The Force. But while belief in The Force is one thing, mastery of The Force is another. Is your neurological focus, command, and self-actualization at Lucas-worthy levels? With The Force Trainer, you can both test your current mental prowess, and work to improve it.

The Force Trainer's cordless headset is fitted with dry EEG sensors that detect and interpret its wearer's brainwaves, and then project them to the training tower, moving the sphere up or down according to intensity of focus and mastery of The Force. Advancement through 15 levels of training, from Padawan to Jedi Master, will keep everyone in your family enthralled for--fingers crossed--as long as it takes scientists unlock the power of telomeres, and reverse-age Harrison Ford to his Han Solo glory days, so he can do the next Star Wars installment without the aid of a walker and Shia LaBoeuf.

Constant feedback from Yoda, such as, "Reach out with your feelings! Use the Force. Do or do not, there is no try," either encourages focus, and helps the user along; or exacerbates the inability to focus, accelerates frustration, extracts colorful language, and turns the Force Trainer into a compelling spectator sport.

Bonus: The Force Trainer originally sold for $129.99, but post-holiday markdowns--or users who have achieved Jedi Master status--have lowered the price to under $40.

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