Meathearts
Sweetheart, have a Meatheart. Meathearts are the Conversation Hearts of beef jerky! The beef jerky of Conversation Hearts! And that's no hyperbole!
It's not even an analogy. It's, uh, literally what Meathearts are - beef jerky cut into the shape of hearts, and laser engraved with cutesy, lovey-dovey sayings. "Beef Mine." "Meat me." "XOXO." And, of course, "Love."
Meathearts, made by The Manly Man Company, are here to beef up your Valentine's Day gifts with romantic professions for the enthusiastic carnivores you love, or anyone you love who prefers a conversational treat that doesn't taste like sugared chalk.
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Beef Jerky Flower Bouquets
Men, say it with diamonds. With chocolate truffles. With roses. Ladies, say it with beef. Jerky. In the shape of flowers for good measure. Because even though nothing will tell your man's belly how you feel more than...
You Is Fine Bears
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Penis Tuxedo
How long has it been since someone said your penis looks "dapper?" For me, the answer is an emphatic "too long." The same goes for "snazzy," "handsome," and "just like Jon Hamm." I can only hope LELO's new TUX, a penis...
/go-fck-go-fish-for-adults-20998.jpg "Go F*ck! - Go Fish for Adults (NSFW)")
Go F*ck! - Go Fish for Adults (NSFW)
I never was much of a Go Fisher. Unlike War, it just had too many rules to keep track of so I always lost. The same will probably happen with Go F*ck, the "adult" version of the kiddie card game, but I get the sense that...
/mens-half-thong-nsfw-41866.jpg?mode=crop "Men's Half Thong (NSFW)")
Men's Half Thong (NSFW)
Never mind all the male bush and taint action going on in these Men's Half Thong photos, what I really want to know is: how the half thong does a dude wear a half thong? How does it stay on? Is there an adhesive involved?...
Happy to See You Naked Card
Ladies, the answer to your age-old question, "What are you thinking about?" has materialized in greeting card format. 78% of the time you query your man about his internal musings, this is the perpetual, 14-word loop...
Go F Yourself Condom Card
I can think of many people to whom I'd like to send a Go F Yourself card (complete with packaged condom for carrying out the act!) but one dude stands out like a glowing beacon bobbing amidst the sea of the rest. How...
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The Pet Nugget
Here's a lil' Pet Nugget to remind your lil' pet nugget you love them. Or to make them crave a 6-piece of real McNuggets all day long after you guilt them into keeping the taunting figurine on their desktop or dashboard...
/valentines-day-gifts-for-your-30884.jpg?mode=crop "Valentine's Day Gifts For Your Boyfriend Under $25")
Valentine's Day Gifts For Your Boyfriend Under $25
If all you've got is $25, I'll make giving your boyfriend the perfect gift for Valentine's day real easy for you: 6-pack of beer; 6-pack of street tacos; and you. Naked, obviously. Wrap it all up in a bow, lay it at his...
GoodHead Flavored Gel
I read the following comment about GoodHead's Cinnamon-flavored lubricant / pleasure enhancer for the administrator of oral sex: "It's like chewing Big Red and sucking...the best damn lube period!" Unfortunately, there...
/bracelet-flask-20965.jpg "Bracelet Flask")
Bracelet Flask
Fancy fashion designer Cynthia Rowley made a Flask Bracelet that sold for around $225. You can see it on the lady's wrist in the image gallery above. But Braced has made a Bracelet Bangle Flask that's waaaay better than...
/jar-of-fcks-gift-jar-42300.jpg?mode=crop "Jar of F*cks Gift Jar")
Jar of F*cks Gift Jar
I don't give a f*ck about you...I give a whole jar of f*cks about you! Ha! What an unexpected linguistic turnaround! Not to mention the perfect gift for the girlfriend or wife who loves wordplay. And f*cks...