Classy Ketchup

On the one hand, the Heinz Packet Roller is encouraging us not to make a mess and waste ketchup. How very tidy and eco-conscious of them. But on the other, when you have to invent a gadget - however tongue-in-cheek and...

These 14 condiments and toppings will make you want to grab a steak. Or a cupcake. Some chicken. Some waffles. Some chicken & waffles. Ice cream, tacos, burgers, fries...what, your belly don't have room for all that?...

Slice of Sauce is ketchup meets Kraft Singles meets Fruit Roll-Ups meets your burger. Your new and improved mess-free burger, since this dried tomato condiment trades in the globs of red goo for a solid, slim, slick...Slice...of...

The potatoes spilling out of this ribbon fry cutter look delicious. For $100 I would eat them raw. I might also eat them raw if I were sure no one was watching. Easy to load, easy to retract and reload, I know once I...

Huh. I woulda thought scented candles would be something they'd make to cover up the smell of McDonald's Quarter Pounders in your home. But I guess that's if you're making candles for wives and mamas who don't want aromas...

Turn your bottles of BBQ sauce, salad dressing, and marinades into sex toys for your meat! I mean, there's really no better way to describe the Bottletop Baster. It's a head of tickly silicone bristles that fits onto...

I couldn't decide whether to call this condiment bottle topper of a dude having explosive diarrhea of your chosen condiment "Running from Behind," "Runs from Behind," "Poocasso," or "Ass Blaster." In fact, his name is...

Normal ketchup is basically tomato sauce and corn syrup. Protein Ketchup is basically tomato sauce and corn syrup that have been kicked in the face by Chuck Norris and are therefore jacked up with 15 grams of Pure. Patent...

Is the Saucemoto, a dip clip that latches onto the air vent in your car, a solution to or perpetuation of a problem? Do we really want people who have just gotten a 20-piece order of McNuggets and large fries dipping...

Shoot up your hamburger in style with this condiment filled side-arm. I have a feeling if a family owns two of these, the mom (or dad if the family is really weird) is going to have a lot of cleanup to do after lunch...

"Tastes good on everything!" Normally when a condiment makes such a claim I'm skeptical, but this condiment is Momofuku Ssam Sauce. Made by chef David Chang, founder of the Momofuku Korean-inspired restaurants, and really...

I told them this is what would happen if they let the roosters near the tomatoes. The cocks just can't keep it to themselves. And now we have this bastard child. This atrocious, humiliating...awesome-sounding, mouthwatering...