The Can Stamp
/the-can-stamp-10384.jpg "The Can Stamp")
Ever since the days of colonialism and the American Frontier...no...way before that. Ever since the days animals began eking out a drop more urine even when they didn't have to pee just so that they could piss on things, we as mammals have strived to stake our claims. We buy houses, we brand horses, we call shotgun...why not have a plastic, keychain-sized stamp to imprint ownership on our cans of beer and sodie?
The Can Stamp wondered why not indeed. Mine. In Use. Fuel. Drunk. 1 More. These are their new aluminum can identifiers. Embedded tags that will warn others against taking a sip from your designated pop-top, lest they backwash or touch the rim anywhere near what you just know are lip herpes, and force you to pop-top them in the neck, or maybe sap cap them in the nuts.
Can Stamps' simple terms of ownership imprint across the curved upper section of beer and soda cans with a solid press and rock. So now when you're swimming in a sea of cans at a party and want to know A) which ones you should drink out of and B) why you're so incredibly drunk, the 18 or so with your "1 More" mark on them will serve as quick and obvious indicators.
Mastery of the wrist finesse required for flawless Can Stamp use takes a little practice, but the company notes that even a monkey can figure it out by the end of a weekend bender.
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