Giant Lobster Hand Claws
/giant-lobster-hand-claws-9477.jpg "Giant Lobster Hand Claws")
- Wolverine Electronic Battle Claw - $53.49
- Crab Hat - $4.86
- Lobster Claw Oven Mitt - $8.04
- Thundercats LionO Claw Shield - $8.99
- Baby Lobster Costume - $38.60
I believe all children with no existing physical or mental impairments who think they're hot little shits should be required to wear these giant lobster claws on their hands for a day to learn how it feels to be different and handicapped and unable to text or post hourly Facebook status updates.
I myself will don the claws to playfully pinch ladies' noses before launching into a swooning rendition of "Under the Sea", which I anticipate will award me license to request phone numbers, and possibly playfully pinch other body parts.
What, Cornelius? No, Sebastian wasn't a Rastafarian crab, he was a Rastafarian lobster. Dude, no he...I'll bet you...alright, get the Blu-Ray.
As Halloween approaches, those who dread devising a costume can relax. You are now just two claws away from reincarnations as lobster mutants. The latex pieces measure 14-1/2" long, and fit most adult hands. Research suggests sporting a pair makes the wearer 50 times more awesome.
WARNING: Beware of intermingling with fat people and butter with giant lobster claws affixed.
Muchas danke to Laughing Squid.
Sexy TRON Outfit
Wise shoppers know that when buying a gift, you should choose something for the recipient that you would never choose to buy for yourself. In that vein, this smokin' hot, 12-gauge clear plastic TRON corset lined with...
Arkham Harley Quinn Costume
Cartoons and reality have met, merged, and are now calling out to your carn(iv)al sensibilities. Sinister, hard-edged, Brooklyn-tongued Harley Quinn makes the likes of animated wet dreams Jessica Rabbit and Holli Wood...
Wolverine Style Hand Claw Dagger
What the WTF Amazon? You're in the weapons trade now? These costume-y looking hand claws have real blades of razor-sharp, 10"carbon steel, which make them exponentially and disturbingly more portentous than actual claws...
/muscle-suits-13994.jpg "Muscle Suits")
Muscle Suits
The body builders at Flex Design Costumes might be the only body builders on earth who can guarantee they'll jack up, carve out, and rip your muscles to shreds with absolutely no effort on your part beyond telling them...
/fear-mongering-the-10-19643.jpg?mode=crop "Fear Mongering: The 10 Scariest Halloween Masks")
Fear Mongering: The 10 Scariest Halloween Masks
The fear factor of these scary Halloween masks lies somewhere between disturbing and spine-chilling. Between nightmares for the night and nightmares for the month. Between Ugh, what is that? and CAN. NOT. UN. SEE. I'm...
TRON: Legacy Siren Gem Bodysuit
Sadly, this bodysuit covers more skin than the TRON corset, but since it's made out of stretch fabric instead of 12-gauge plastic, it does allow for increased mobility during re-enactments of the movie's action sequences...
/The-Darth-Knight-1019.jpg?mode=crop "The Darth Knight")
The Darth Knight
You love Batman, but you're a loyal Star Wars fanboy. Halloween is coming up and you have a difficult decision to make. Can you betray Darth Vader for your new crush on the Dark Knight? Good news. You won't have to. Mash...
/wearable-superhero-full-body-30626.jpg?mode=crop "Wearable Superhero Full Body Armor")
Wearable Superhero Full Body Armor
Full Body Armors' superhero and video game character costume replicas will secure your cosplay convention credibility, and make all of your Sundays Fundays. The made-to-measure suits transform wearers, from head to toe...
Iron Man Power Band
Robert Downey Jr. is almost as cool as Tony Stark, and the fact that RDJ is wearing the Iron Man Magtitan New Legend Power Bands while playing Tony Stark in the new Avengers movie, and the Power Bands ThinkGeek is selling...
/dinosuit-wearable-fossil-kit-61566.jpg?mode=crop "DinoSuit Wearable Fossil Kit")
DinoSuit Wearable Fossil Kit
I was all about these DinoSuit Wearable Fossil Kits until I saw the last image in the gallery above. The one that shows how it arrives. As cardboard cutouts you have to punch out and assemble yourself. Pssshhh! I don't...
TigerLady Self-Defense Claw
Remember that old Secret deodorant commercial? Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman? I'd put TigerLady in that same category. Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman...to slash, gouge, and rip apart any...
Spandex Black Cat Burglar Costume
What's better than an inked Felicia Hardy prancing around, getting limber on your pages of The Amazing Spider-Man as the Black Cat? A real live girl (or boy--we aim to please all orientations) prancing around, getting...