Hot Head Candles
/hot-head-candles-40779.jpg "Hot Head Candles")
No one can say these famous (and infamous) politicians and world leaders (plus Albert Einstein) aren't hot heads when they have Hot Head Candle wicks sticking out of their heads.
Will Markusen creates his whimsical - and spot-on realistic - wax burners from silicone molds he prints on a 3D printer. What started with a glorious orange Trump Head gag gift to friends and family eventually became an entire online shop of Hot Head Candles, including the Obama and Putin beauties you see above, as well as burn-bright likenesses of Kim Jong Un, Hillary Clinton, Joseph Stalin, Ronald Regan, and Abe Lincoln.
Markusen intends his Hot Head Candles as lighthearted ambience, "to serve as a reminder that no matter how much we may despise a sitting president, senator, governor, or other world leader, their political role is only temporary - just like the flame of a burning candle."
Nonetheless, you probably shouldn't give one to someone prone to panties-bunching, such as my Aunt Jan. And you definitely shouldn't give one to that type of person with one of these stickers attached to it.
Rekindle Regenerating Candlestick
While I would prefer a wax color more masculine than pink, I--What? Pink is the color of unconditional love and nurturing? Oh. OK, Mama.--I guess my mama likes pink. Yep... Working from home today... Anyway, I applaud...
/wtf-prank-candles-55498.jpg?mode=crop "WTF Prank Candles")
WTF Prank Candles
WTF does using the term "WTF" in reference to a candle mean? In a nutshell: "Mmmm, this smells incredible! Just like the apple pie my grandma used to make with the shortbread crust and the...gaaaaasssspppp!. W...T...F...is...
Diamond Ring Candles
Diamond Candles makes candles (duh) with embedded diamonds (du...really?) Each candle is guaranteed to contain a sparkly ring for its burner to discover as the wax diminishes. Granted, they're not all diamonds, and they're...
Man Can - Gun Powder Scented Candle
Man Cans. Scented candles for men. No. For Men. Endorsed by Thor, Indiana Jones, and the Dos Equis guy. This one smells like a spent shotgun shell. At $9.50, it also smells like I'm done looking for a Father's Day gift...
/skull-candle-holder-with-61498.jpg?mode=crop "Skull Candle Holder with Bleeding Brain Candle")
Skull Candle Holder with Bleeding Brain Candle
Bleeding candles are nothing new...huh. What a weird truth. I can think of at least 2 types of bleeding candle I have already shown you - The Melting Hand Bloody Candle and Stranger Things Eleven Bleeding
/my-last-fck-candle-44928.jpg?mode=crop "My Last F*ck Candle")
My Last F*ck Candle
My Last F*ck Candle. Presumably this is the one you'll burn when all of the disasters, the shockers, and the newest pieces of trash to hit social media become too much to process, too much to reconcile. When the only...
Raiders of the Lost Ark Melting Toht Candle
Nothing like a hot day in the south or the Ark of the Covenant to make you feel like your face is gonna melt off. Though after my wee and innocent 6-year-old eyes were scarred for life watching Major Arnold Ernst Toht...
/torch-plant-light-botanical-16519.jpg "Torch Plant Light Botanical Candle")
Torch Plant Light Botanical Candle
How precious. A floating puff of plant with an LED light at its end. Though overpriced by a factor of 8, the Torch Plant Light Botanical Candle is a clever centerpiece designed by Japan's Pianta x Stanza to look like...
/skeleton-in-a-skull-bathtub-61403.jpg?mode=crop "Skeleton in a Skull Bathtub Candle")
Skeleton in a Skull Bathtub Candle
Is there some sort of metaphor to be drawn from the Skeleton in a Skull Bathtub Candle? Take a dip in your own mind? Relax with your thoughts? Wade through your memories...and maybe figure out how you died and got cursed...
Minecraft Light-Up Torch
My 12-year-old nephew plays Minecraft all day long. I'm not exaggerating. I got him a lime green Minecraft Creeper Beanie for Christmas. So that if he ever decides to stop playing Minecraft and go outside his ears won't...
/earwax-candle-kit-56889.jpg?mode=crop "Earwax Candle Kit")
Earwax Candle Kit
Here comes the Earwax Candle Kit just when you thought you couldn't find the perfect gift for your mom. I don't know about yours but I know my mama loves candles, and also hates waste, and based on the number of used...
Yank Me Candles
Yank Me Candles are terrific gag or white elephant gifts in the vein of WTF Prank Candles, but with a different kind of blood pulsing through them. The latter have delightful sounding names, such as Apple Pie, on the...