Cable Knit Armchair Slipcover
/cable-knit-armchair-slipcover-6438.jpg "Cable Knit Armchair Slipcover")
- Cable Knit Blanket - $24.97
- Furniture Leg Socks - $13.99
- Yarn Bombing: The Art of Crochet and Knit Graffiti - $13.57
- Martha Stewart Crafts Knit & Weave Loom Kit - $29.97
- Sock Knitting Loom - $24.95
Hmmm, ummm, just...hmmm. A cable knit slipcover, huh? I guess on the one hand it looks cozy, but on the other it looks...itchy. Also like if you sit on it for more than 5 minutes you're going to have that diamond and sine wave pattern branded onto your back and ass for the forseeable future. But I appreciate the immense skill and elbow grease that must have gone into knitting the armchair a sweater. Needle maestro Lynn Garrett makes all of her slipcovers to order, custom-fitting them to the chair buyers wish to yuppify and keep warm. The magnum opus of yarn is machine washable on a wool cycle. Listed cost is an estimate, with final pricing based on slipcover size and complexity.
The Balls Lounger
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/stargaze-swinging-reclining-29364.jpg "Stargaze Swinging & Reclining Camp Chair")
Stargaze Swinging & Reclining Camp Chair
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/crochet-penis-blanket-49439.jpg?mode=crop "Crochet Penis Blanket")
Crochet Penis Blanket
Cozy up next to the fire pit with a warm, cuddly...cock & balls?! This Crochet Penis Blanket from Naughty Mature Gifts will make you snug as a bug in a...er...opposite of rug on cool summer evenings and <a href="https://www.dudeiwantthat.com/blog/the...
/lightsaber-willy-warmer-32623.jpg?mode=crop "Lightsaber Willy Warmer")
Lightsaber Willy Warmer
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A natural pairing given that naked is both the best way to sleep and the best way to play Twister. Aussie company Twistex Bed Sheets ships this set of Twister bedding worldwide in Double, Queen, and King sizes. Included...
/inflatable-sex-chair-lounger-45514.jpg?mode=crop "Inflatable Sex Chair & Lounger")
Inflatable Sex Chair & Lounger
The title of this, er, piece of furniture in its Amazon listing is "SeiSooDai Chaise Lounge Indoor Chair Velvet Fabric, Modern Long Lounger for Office Or Living Room." But one look at the image, and all I see are: 1)...
/plufl-the-dog-bed-for-humans-54622.jpg?mode=crop "Plufl: The Dog Bed for Humans")
Plufl: The Dog Bed for Humans
Welp, we've got dog food for humans, so why not dog beds for humans? Thank you Soylent, and now, Plufl. Plufl is basically a big ol' human-sized dog bed, designed by "avid nappers" Noah and Yuki to create the ultimate...
Crocheted Optimus Prime Helmet
My grandma used to crochet me things. Yeah, used to. Like she used to make me waffles from scratch. Then she got lazy and just hoped I wouldn't notice when she started replacing the once bountiful discs cratered with...
/hariana-tech-smart-ultimate-47572.jpg?mode=crop "Hariana Tech Smart Ultimate Bed")
Hariana Tech Smart Ultimate Bed
I might also call the Hariana Tech Smart Ultimate Bed a bed-shaped living room. A living bed. A New York studio apartment. Like the HiCan, Hariana Tech Smart Ultimate Bed is the kind of connected piece of futuristic furniture...