Death Wrench Tools
/death-wrench-tools-15940.jpg "Death Wrench Tools")
My favorite slayers of the walking dead over at Zombie Hammer have expanded their market. Now in addition to using their American steel implements of doom to whack zombies, you can also use them to fix a leaky pipe and drive to Fatburger. The Death Wrench collection features tools for the handyman and mechanic. Tools for the hot rod and chopper lover. And mostly just tools for the guy who likes hanging sick shit on his wall, and also bringing it to Agricola Mondays to make his friends Cornelius and Victor jealous.
All Death Wrench tools carry legal disclaimers and warnings against using the steering wheels and shifters on vehicles that will actually be driven, and the wrenches and hammers on people and objects as a means of inflicting damage. Yep, so...I have no further comment on that. Now let's take a closer look at the specifics of some Death Wrench tools and their trademark knuckle duster handles.
White Knuckle Steering Wheel. a 14-incher that will either dissuade a thief from breaking into your car, or make him want in even more. The knuckles are a fat 9/16″ and surrounded by a steel ring wrapped 2 layers of military-grade black paracord. Wheel are powder coated in a durable black and silver finish. The center hub should be compatible with most adapter kits available from Grant, etc. Death Wrench notes the White Knuckle has no horn because "we feel that yelling and shaking your fist is an acceptable solution to most traffic problems."
Red Shift, Blue Shift & Pistoff Grip Shifters. Complement your White Knuckle steering wheel or install a Red or Blue Shift on your custom chopper or bobber. Knuckles measure 9/16"; thick, with Red Shift positioning hands forward of the stick, and Blue Shift behind it. For the angry crowd, Death Wrench's Pistoff Grip steps in when pistol grip shifters don't quite fit the bill. It too consists of 9/16" "of solid f#@k you" and matches the White Knuckle steering wheel.
Nut Buster. Forged from 3/8" of hot rolled steel, this mammoth wrench measures 17-3/4" long and weighs over 3 pounds. Its span is 2". Perfect for all those 2" nuts you've been meaning to tighten.
Ball Buster. You've been looking for a 14" hammer, haven't you?
All Death Wrench products are designed and built in Phoenix, Arizona, USA.
BASH Unbreakable Sledge Hammers
Though he'll probably stick with Mjolnir for wailing on Loki, if Thor were a construction worker I bet he would use one of Wilton's BASH Unbreakable Sledge Hammers. Touted the toughest sledge ever built, BASHes with heads...
THOR Hammer Tool Kit
Utilitarian cosplay. How many occasions do you have to use those two words together in a sentence? (And can you say them 5 times fast?) Ever since I got the ix-nay on wearing my "formal and "functional" Mongol armor suit...
Cole-Bar Multi-Functional Hammer
Although I enjoy calling people tools, I don't really understand how the term came to be an insult. Aren't tools generally helpful and beneficial to the cause of man, as opposed to the burdens of dead-weight idiocy implied...
Vampliers Screw Pliers
One time I knew this girl who was a regular blood donor, and apparently if you're a regular blood donor the blood bank pesters you to donate even more blood, and so whenever they would call she'd look at her caller ID...
/hammer-fist-60566.jpg?mode=crop "Hammer Fist")
Hammer Fist
The Hammer Fist is a grip tool with three steel strike plates, all positioned at different angles for driving in a nail, and all with surface areas small enough to indicate to me that whenever your hand is beating like...
BullseyeBore Laser Drill Guide
BullseyeBore or not, as someone who often has trouble even walking straight, there's close to a 0% chance I'm ever going to be able to cut, saw, or drill straight. But for the rest of you, the handy ones who only catch...
/marvel-thor-hammer-tool-set-32640.jpg?mode=crop "Marvel Thor Hammer Tool Set")
Marvel Thor Hammer Tool Set
ThinkGeek calls their Thor Hammer Tool Set a "ThinkGeek creation & exclusive," but I seem to remember someone named Dave having the Geeky Idea for a THOR Hammer Tool Kit back in 2016. Still, ThinkGeek's version has been...
/kootek-self-defense-flashlight-24533.jpg "Kootek Self-Defense Flashlight")
Kootek Self-Defense Flashlight
Need a knife, a hammer, and a self defense club in a flash? Then you might want to carry Kootek's knife, hammer, and self defense club in a flash...light...
/carbonlite-carbon-fiber-12538.jpg?mode=crop "CarbonLite Carbon Fiber Wrenches")
CarbonLite Carbon Fiber Wrenches
Who wants the same kind of carbon fiber used to build F1 race cars and spaceships also used to build the tools used to build carbon fiber F1 race cars and spaceships? CarbonLite calls its carbon fiber wrenches "the next...
The Beer Peen Hammer
Now you can use your peen to open your beer. I mean, if you couldn't already. Good Beer Hunting has smithed its Beer Peen Hammer in the likeness of an antique ball peen hammer they picked up at an estate sale. Each of...
/wohngeist-tool-set-18348.jpg?mode=crop "WohnGeist Tool Set")
WohnGeist Tool Set
These here are some fiiine tools. At least I hope they are because German manufacturer WohnGeist's 24-piece set and case cost upwards of $3 grand. Making them one of those stunning collections of highly functional and...
Oakes Design War Hammers
Ethan Oakes specializes in woodworking and weapon designs. Here you see both of his specialties in action with the Oakes Design line of war hammers. Some are made of hard woods, such as oak, and deemed battle-ready, while...