Style

Piston Skull Ring

Discontinued

I really like it when people repurpose things. Like when they turn shipping containers into houses or whipped cream into bikinis. And although this piston looks kind of angry and dead in its skullified iteration, I still...

The Bradley Tactile Watch

$285 - $395 Amazon »

Although I'm largely an insensitive bastard, even I was puzzled to hear that visually impaired people currently have only 2 types of watches available to them: those that talk, and those with removable covers that allow...

Hibermate Sleeping Ear Muffs

Sold Out Amazon »

I love it when girls wear ear muffs. Especially big furry white ones. They give them that irresistible look of sophistication meets special needs kid. Ear muffs on guys, though? Eh. Not really acceptable. Maybe, maybe...

Wet/Dry Magic Pattern Shorts

Designed to be worn for any casual summertime activity, Lacrosse Playground's Convertible Shorts appear to be a normal pair of tea partaying men's fashion. When dry. But knock their wearer in the pool right after he comments...

I Watch You T-Shirt

$25.99 Skreened »

Happy harsh dose of 4th of July reality! Aw come on, it's not so bad that Uncle Sam sees America celebrating its independence by launching bottle rockets out of beer bottles and butt cracks. We fought hard for this freedom...

Rocky Balboa American Flag Boxing Shorts

Discontinued

Nothing says, "Happy Birthday, USA!" like a form-fitting pair of stars 'n' stripes shorts and an American boxing the shit out of a Russian in his own country. These officially licensed Balboa shorts hit--powerfully jab...

Batman Hooded & Winged Backpack

Discontinued

Here's a silver lining, or at least some black polyester, for the poor bastards who have to go to summer school: DC Comics' Batman Backpack...with Bat ear hood...and...du-nuhnuh-nuhnuh-nuhnuhnuh...BAT! WINGS! As with...

Zombie Apocalypse Charm Jewelry

$23.44 - $40.62 Etsy »

My Zombie Apocalypse plan is to collect things like hand grenades and hacksaws and tins of beans, and then collect them all in miniature charm versions to wear on a bracelet or necklace. Like, so I can show them off handily...

Back Massage T-Shirts

$22 - $24 Etsy »

The medium is the massage, and the massage is a T-Shirt. A T-Shirt with a railroad play mat and accompanying locomotive, baby! And baby daddies! Becky of bkykid must be the envy of all moms who fancy themselves clever...

NapAnywhere Pillow

$44.80 Amazon »

Oh boy, and I think the NapAnywhere pillow looks just enough like a neck brace that I can convince suspicious parties I need it for medical reasons. Let me tell you some things I do not enjoy that will maybe become bearable...

The Roddler - Hot Rod Baby Strollers

$4,495 Kid Kustoms »

I'd give myself about 40 minutes of pushing one of these hot rod fendered strollers around before dinging and scratching it up beyond recognition from skimming walls and banging into corners. Pushing a kid cart around...

Recycled Skateboard Sunglasses

$189.99 Etsy »

Recycled skateboards and bamboo join forces to battle the sun! Hipsters and panda bears are going to love this shit! Bamboo Skate Shades are handmade in Canada, with no two rolling out precisely the same. Available in...

5.3-Ounce Paper Shoes

$65 The UT Lab »

Shoes made out of paper?! What's next, condoms made out of lambskin?! Oh wait... Unbelievable Testing Laboratory has spent many a month devising and refining their Light Wing Tyvek shoes, a pair of sneakers that weigh...

Microsuede CleanSquare Oxford

$98 Voy Voy »

Voy Voy's first shirt venture, conducted through Kickstarter, is of the T persuasion, and has the interesting flourish of a built-in pocket square that can either hold a wallet or phone, or invert to a peacockish display...

The FlaskTie

Discontinued

While I don't condone sleeping on a tie at work, I must say I have generally found my productivity (and genius!) levels to be highest after a few swigs of Grey Goose. So drinking out of a tie at work = acceptable. In...

Vault 101 Hoodie

$58 Bethesda »

Mmm, I smell a Cake Bake-Off coming on. Residents of Vault 101 take note: I will accept submissions of the sponge variety only this year. A fleece zip-up nod to the Fallout series, Bethesda's Vault 101 hoodie is passable...

Breathalyzer Watch

Like playing the bagpipes and rolling your eyeballs into the back of your sockets, I would prefer that you not drink and drive, even if you're really good at it. Tokyoflash agrees, and so has proceeded with development...

Higgs Boson Watch

$35.99 ThinkGeek »

Ugh, do I have to explain what the Higgs boson is? Like, in a way that implies I understand it? Well. IMHO, it's just another tiny, tiny cog in the machine that makes the world churn, but apparently physicists have a...

Star Wars R2-D2 Bra

Discontinued

Noooooo! As if there weren't enough things in this world to make me horny! Now R2-D2 is getting in on the tent pitching action? Etsy vendor Sceene Shoes, also of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles bra fame, shares some Star...

White Walker Mask

White Walkers are creepy, dude. Creepy enough that I think I'd rather look like one than at one. But I'd most rather look like Khal Drogo because then all men would still be scared of me, and all ladies would quiver in...

The Fusion Wallet

$82 - $99 The Fusion Wallet »

Twenty-five-year-old Thomas Johnson fabricates his cool, modern industrial Fusion Wallet from 12 separate CNC-machined aluminum and hardwood components. Gee. I'm almost a decade older than Johnson and I can hardly fabricate...

Hardmill Rugged Man Aprons

$140 - $375 Amazon »

Hardmill's rugged aprons are made of dudely things like army duck waxed canvas, selvage denim, hand-dyed leather, and copper rivets, plus snakes and snails and puppy dog tails. This is so that when wearing them no one...

SleepPhones

$39.95 Amazon »

I thought maybe SleepPhones blocked out the sounds of snoring and garbage trucks and sirens and stupid F'ing songbirds with some sort of industrial acoustic insulation woven inside their fleece headband, but the self-described...

The Single Handed Barber

It's cuttin' it close, but order now and your Single Handed Barber, a DIY electric hair trimmer for short cuts, may arrive just in time for Father's Day. Cuttin' it close. Ha! Hahaha! Pun. Intended. Puns and I share the...