Giant Charcuterie Boards
Forget Arby's, ye who have one of these giant charcuterie boards are ye who have the meats. And the cheese. And the nuts. And hopefully the complementary dried fruits and tasty jams. Kristopher Kirkpatrick handmade the oversized serving boards above, one from black walnut, and the other from casted resin. The walnut caterer's dream is 7' long, and the blue one looks to be about 6-1/2'.
They look great overlaid, obviously reminiscent of a live-edge river table (which Kirkpatrick also builds) but are sold separately and can be used on their own. At printing, the giant charcuterie boards pictured were finished and up for grabs, but Kirkpatrick is also happy to make custom orders, as well as slightly-less-giant serving boards 36" and 48" long.
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Rugboard Tempered Glass Cutting Board
You know I have to say it: the Rugboard will really tie your meals together. ... Or at least encourage your guests to pee on them. While not specifically a nod to The Big Lebowski like The Dude's Rug Cutting Board, no...
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Penis Charcuterie Board
No one will be able to beat your meat, or resist your cheese, or help but grab your berries, when you arrange them atop the Penis Charcuterie Board. It's the best reference to genitalia I've seen in a serving tray since...
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Shark Coochie Board
Word to that, Shark Coochie Board. And though I've never heard attempts at saying "charcuterie" come out as "shark coochie" before now, it will henceforth be this dude's default pronunciation of the word. Well done, and...
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Wine Bottle Topper Cheese Board Set
Wondering what to do with that recycling bin full of empty wine bottles you can't fathom having generated in just one weekend? The Wine Bottle Topper Cheese Board Set is every wino lush's dream! Arrange this trio of bamboo...
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Bron Coucke Sausage Guillotine
The Bron Coucke Sausage Guillotine. Now there's an...interesting...gift for a man. Indeed, it is an exquisite charcuterie tool, made in France and most dudely in appearance to maximize presentation at your next dinner...
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Artisan Dry Cured Meats Charcuterie Starter Kit
While most of the charcuterie I've had from stores and in restaurants has been stupidly expensive, stingily portioned snob food, I usually overlook its hoity toity characteristics on account of the fact that it's also...
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Medieval Cheese Board
Like I need any more reasons to go medieval on a fat plate of tasty cheese. But OK, Medieval Cheese Board, I'll up my slicing and spreading game with your battle axe for the triple creme Brie, double headed axe for my...
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Right now Juan Lee's Curling Pan is just a concept. A wicked concept that Juan better make happen because a cutting board that curls up into a frying pan when it hits the heat of a stovetop burner? Holy balls that's some...
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Dripping Blood Cutting Board
Now kitchen countertops can look like a bloody mess whether you've cut yourself or used them to butcher a half side of beef or not. Great for Halloween, great for an otherwise ho-hum Monday night, great for getting a...
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Gerber Freescape Camp Kitchen Kit
Gerber Green is at it again. This time, instead of arming you with knives, axes, lanterns, zipper charms, and other tools to pursue your outdoor adventures, the company is offering up the Freescape Camp Kitchen Kit to...