Guinea Pig Halloween Costumes
Isn't being a guinea pig enough? Storing food in my ever-moving puffy cheeks, providing cuddles upon request, and generally looking adorable? Now I have to wear a Unicorn Halloween costume to please you too? If you wanted a unicorn as a pet instead of a guinea pig, why didn't you just buy a unicorn instead of a guinea pig?!
Given how I feel about you right now, making me parade around in this pink onesie, weighed down by a horn on my head, dragging a poofy rainbow tail through my shavings, I'd recommend this unicorn.
According to PetSmart, these Halloween costumes fit "most small pets," which I'm guessing in addition to guinea pigs includes chinchillas, rats, iguanas, and maybe a really fat hamster or one of those teacup yorkies. Even with adjustable velcro straps I can't imagine the costumes can size down enough to fit smaller rodents, or up enough to fit most puppies.
I'd also say good luck getting your guinea to stay still and allow you to garb it up as a unicorn, shark, mermaid, bumblebee, superhero, etc., but as we learned in 2013, guinea pigs are down to play dress-up. Especially when the costume is scale-mail armor!
Handmade Guinea Pig Armor
I had a guinea pig as a young boy. I named him Ruffles because he and I both were somewhat effeminate. They didn't make polished steel scale outfits for guinea pigs back then. And I have to admit, taking in this majestic...
Hobbit Hole Pet & Play Houses
Officially made and sold as Hobbit Hole chicken coops (or scale-mail-clad guinea pig coops! The uprising, it is all coming together!) these Lord of the Rings-inspired homes for the yard also serve as dog houses or kiddie...
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Banana Hamster Hammock
A banana hamster hammock?! Oh boy, between banana hammocks and hamsters up the butthole I almost don't even know where to start!...
Minecraft Creeper Squirrel Feeder
Now might be the first time in my entire life I am tempted to use a certain acronym. I definitely, 100% won't write it, but when I saw this Minecraft Creeper squirrel feeder in Rick Roemer's Etsy shop I legitimately did...
Mouse Taxidermy Kit
I hate to throw out a perfectly good dead mouse. It just seems like an anti-climactic payoff for the money I spend on traps and cheese. I'm glad to hear the people of London agree. According to Firebox, mouse taxidermy...
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Rid-a-Rat Under-Hood Rodent Deterrent Device
The only thing worse than a human packrat living in your house is a packrat packrat living under the hood of your car. Nesting up in the engine compartment. Chewing through random wires you sort of needed to, like, drive...
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Walk The Plank Mouse Trap
Heh, this Walk the Plank Mouse Trap looks like something out of the game Mouse Trap I used to play when I was a kid. Works about the same too: clip the trap over a 5-gallon bucket, and set up ramp. Your choice on ramp...
/hoont-electronic-rodent-trap-29160.jpg "Hoont Electronic Rat Trap")
Hoont Electronic Rat Trap
Got rats? Rats! The Hoont Electronic Rat Trap knows how you feel. It's had a lot of rats too. And mice and shrews. Squirrels and chipmunks as well. But unlike you, Hoont welcomes these rodents into its home. Because once...
/neatmaster-ultrasonic-pest-44915.jpg?mode=crop "Neatmaster Ultrasonic Pest Repeller")
Neatmaster Ultrasonic Pest Repeller
Paranoia, paranoia, bugs and rats are comin' to get me! That's what I sang to my mama when she asked me to install some Neatmaster Ultrasonic Pest Repellers in her house, even though she hasn't noticed any "particular...
Ferret Hoodie
A Ferret Hoodie! Problem solved! Now everyone will know your pet ferret is just as casual, chill, and stoned as you are. However, it is definitely not a piece of ferret fashion suitable for Mr. Kimble's little polecat...
/outwitting-squirrels-34638.jpg?mode=crop "Outwitting Squirrels")
Outwitting Squirrels
I'm going to spoil Outwitting Squirrels for you and just say it: can't be done. Bird and bird feeder enthusiasts still love Bill Adler Jr.'s book about 101 Cunning Stratagems to Reduce Dramatically the Egregious Misappropriation...
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Office Possum
Waka, waka, waka, it's the old possum in the office trash can surprise! You know, the classic Office Possum prank. The practical joke of the...yeah, OK, the practical joke of the nothing. Hiding a possum in your co-worker's...