Novelty

Looking for ways to get a head? Pecker pillows, adorable plushes made to look like the heads of penises, can get you more than a head. They can get you a lot of head...

Get fit in 2019 with Finger Breakdancing. They say it's easy on the joints, fun for the whole family, and requires coordination only from the knuckles down. Bust out the cardboard - oh, wait, it's included in the Finger...

I don't really need While You Were Out Cold Notes to stick on my friend Cornelius when he passes out drunk. It's pretty clear what happened without a written explanation. At least as soon as he tries to stand up and finds...

The NoPhone Air is this season's premier smartphone for anyone perpetually glued to their screen. You know, people who only look up 2 or 3 times a day, and then always seem surprised to see that humans and animals exist...

I only need 1 trick to walk naked without anyone seeing me, and I've had it for a long time: I just close my eyes. If I can't see them, they can't see me...

What's that? Can you borrow my pen? You too? You need one? And you? Well. I don't usually do this, but I'm feeling very Oprah today, so...here you go. You get a pen, and you get a pen, and you get a pen, and...oh, I know...

Stop putting off exercise until tomorrow and dreading going to the gym at lunch. Just get off your ass and walk around the block...twice...now. Trust me, it will be done before you know it...

If your favorite pastime is being offended, get ready for hours of fun with Offensive Crayons. And even if you're open to the politically incorrect, unless you're Daniel Tosh politically incorrect, you might wince at...

This is not a real flying pig. But enough things are happening these days that my grandma said would happen when pigs fly that I gotta figure there's a litter of piglets with wings out there somewhere now. And until I...

A bowling ball cannon looks like something a dude would buy in an effort to one-up (OK, seven-up) another dude who otherwise has a better car, better house, better, job, better wife...and measly little golf ball cannon...

According to Bibi Lab, 10.4 humans per hour Tweet, "I want to be a cat!" In response to this rampant cat envy, and also because Bibi Lab is a Japanese retailer, and this sort of thing isn't even a little weird in Japan...

Dehydrated Water: it's just like a cup of Ramen, only without the Ramen! This can of premium water is all natural and contains no artificial colors, flavors, GMOs, antibiotics, or weird, unpronounceable ingredients. And...

Need something to cover the empty 10' white wall in your dining room like I do? Senior Woman with Asthma Wall Mural. Need a housewarming gift for your friend Cornelius? Senior Woman with Asthma Wall Mural. Need someone...

Valentine's Day. The best day of the year to be single. No worries right? You just go about your day as if it were any regular day. And really, what more could you ask for? If you do want some troubles though, perhaps...

I'm not sure whether Shomer-Tec's Special Ingredients line of products are more prank or more spy. Maybe they fall somewhere in between. In case you're not familiar with these products, they come in vials filled with...

Those who balk at parents who harness and leash up their impulsive, wriggly, wandering toddlers, here ya go. Toddler Tamers eliminate the dog-owner aesthetic from an otherwise really effective child minding tactic. Instead...

I don't know if a memory foamy croissant that emits the scent of mankind's greatest pastry when you squeeze it is so much a stress reliever as it is a stress creator. Holidays got you frazzled with the shopping frenzy...

Remember Feisty Pets? The sweet-to-snarling stuffed animals are celebrating the holiday season with a Feisty Santa Bear, the ultimate cuddly teddy who can turn vicious grizzly in the blink of an eye. Or, more accurately...

Weeee! Madballs are back. Just in time for Halloween and the 867th time this year I've wished so hard I could go back to the simpler days of my childhood in the 80s...

Eat shrimp: check. Sleep shrimp: check. Now. Who's gonna make a way to breathe shrimp? The Jumbo Shrimp Neck pillow, curled and cooked to orange perfection, gives shellfish lovers a welcome place to rest their weary heads...

The Dadbag beer belly fanny pack is right up there with the Sexy Chest Swimsuit in its ability to create a fiesta of discomfort, with a few streamers of sick fascination, before my eyes. The Baby Head Masks used to do...

Ah, the Breaking Bad RV Incense Burner. [Cue nostalgia.] Reminds me just how much I miss the Krystal Ship. I can't believe it's been 4 years since Heisenberg & Pinkman cooked their last batch. I hope things turn out better...