Soft Claws for Cats - Anti-Scratching Aid

Listen, I approve of anything that will prevent a cat from slashing up my face just because I had the nerve to pet it after it came and laid down on my head. But I feel like some crazy cat people...well, let's call them animal advocates...are not going to like these Soft Claws, which glue onto cats' nails to prohibit them from scratching up furniture and human skin. But we'll leave the negativity and anti-Soft Claw manifestoes to them. Here I will relay their glorious uses and benefits.

1. Protect your face, neck, chest, arms, belly, legs, any anatomical component capable of outputting blood from getting pounced, hooked, gouged, or otherwise punctured. Rejoice in your newfound freedom from fear, and work on counteracting the Pavlovian response you've developed of mummifying yourself in a wool blanket every time The Cat enters the room.

2. Protect priceless 18th century furniture and textiles from destruction at the wretched nails of a cat you otherwise like alright. Also protect normal, and even cheap furniture and textiles, that you don't particularly like but that are all you've got.

3. Make your cat look like it has painted toenails. Ladies, I know those of you who enjoy dressing up your pets will dig this Soft Claw bonus perk. The nail caps come in, like, a million colors. Including glitter! If you buy a few packs I bet you can give your cat a rainbow pedicure! Men, while a cat pedicure may not directly appeal to you, the fact that rainbow toes are going to make Dagger Toes look like an enormous jackass just might. I know I'm a supporter.

4. Soft Claws are actually a simple, non-surgical, and far more humane alternative to the ultimate evil inflicted upon cats: declawing.

Standard caps come in packs of 40, and include adhesive and 6 applicator tips, plus instructions for use. Once in place, Soft Claws should last 4 to 6 weeks, and should not interfere with cats' normal behavior. Except good luck with that scratching post, Mr. Whiskers.

Punk.

Muchas danke to Tiputopia.

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