Serpent Table
And you were wondering what to get the Slytherin you drew for the Secret Santa gift exchange at Hogwarts this year. The Serpent Table from Blackman Cruz conquers the part-captivating, part-disturbing design of a coiled bronze viper sinking its fangs into an onyx disc to form a side table that's going to tie the room together unlike any Dude's rug ever could.
The Serpent Table ssssstands 23.25" tall, with a 12" diameter table ssssurface. It is part of an edition of just 25, which explains why it's priced such that only people with a lot of money, or the wizarding power of Voldemort will be able to acquire it.
26-Pound Gummy Python
Oh look, a snake that can kill you without biting, constricting, or even being alive. At 84" long, 26.9 pounds, and a staggering 36,720 calories, the Gummy Python will inflict anything from hyperglycemia to ruptured intestines...
Epic Frog Escape
This 2 minute video clip is the equal of any movie I've seen this year. Suspense, intrigue, a classic soundtrack. I won't ruin the ending for you... but the good guy wins. This is the gutsiest damn frog I've ever known...
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Your Worst Fears Bedding
Who never wants to sleep again? These bedding sets depicting some of our worst fears and phobias are here to make it happen! Think of them as dreams nightmares come true...
/python-skin-death-trooper-27456.jpg?mode=crop "Python Skin Death Trooper Helmet")
Python Skin Death Trooper Helmet
I think this python skin Death Trooper Helmet solidifies maker ELEMNT's position on Team Dark Side. Their first snaked-out Star Wars replica payed homage to Darth Vader, and was shaped around one of the 1,200 collector's...
/the-extractor-bite-sting-kit-27082.jpg?mode=crop "The Extractor Bite & Sting Kit")
The Extractor Bite & Sting Kit
Stung by a bee? Bitten by a snake? Suck it up, son. Or rather, suction it up. With [cue appropriate vacuum pump music]...The Extractor!...
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Python Skin Darth Vader Helmet
If ladies can spend $3,000 on a snakeskin purse, there's no reason I can't spend $3,000 on a snakeskin Darth Vader helmet. Well, there's one reason: ELEMNT is making only one of them. So if my friend Cornelius gets it...
Life Size King Cobra Snake Statue
King Cobra says, "Rise and shine, Cornelius!" And, "Welcome home, She-Ra: Princess of Power!" And, "Whatcha workin' on, Tom from IT?" And, "Hey there, Mama..." Nah. I won't Life Size King Cobra Snake Statue my mama...
/medusa-bodysuit-56584.jpg?mode=crop "Medusa Bodysuit")
Medusa Bodysuit
Snakes and temptation always seem to go hand-in-hand, and this Medusa Bodysuit is no exception. Sssexy, sssee-through, and ssslithering with ssserpents that maybe will, maybe won't cover up a lady's naughty bitsss, the...
/good-after-nine-animal-rings-48072.jpg?mode=crop "Good After Nine Animal Rings")
Good After Nine Animal Rings
Didn't get that hippopotamus for Christmas? How about a Happy Hippo Ring instead? Those denied cats, dogs, snakes, cockatoos, koalas, and frog princes, Good After Nine has its finger on the pulse of your disappointment...
/remote-control-hissing-cobra-56050.jpg?mode=crop "Remote Control Hissing Cobra")
Remote Control Hissing Cobra
A snake in the hand is worth two in the bush. Especially if the snake is this remote control hissing cobra, and the hand is yours, guiding its lifelike, 17" slithering body and retractable tongue toward your friend Cornelius...
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Coiled Snake Bottle Opener
This Coiled Snake Bottle Opener from COPPERTIST.WU is made of solid brass, with hand-carved scales to give it a weighty and uniquely textured feel, along with a sexy look, as it assists you in opening your equally sexy...
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Riedel Crystal Snake Wine Decanters
The snake wouldn't have had to ask my girlfriend twice if he'd looked like this...