NutraMilk Nut Milk & Butter Maker
/nutramilk-nut-milk-butter-36679.jpg "NutraMilk Nut Milk & Butter Maker")
- Tribest Soyabella Soy & Nut Milk Maker - $118.75
- Gourmia Digital Yogurt Maker - $55.65
- Easy-Clean Automatic Hot Soy Milk Maker - $139.98
- Swirlio Frozen Fruit Dessert Maker - $59.04
- Organic Cotton Nut Milk Bag - $13.85
Dairy detractors, this one's for you. The NutraMilk nut milk and butter maker churns and percolates your favorite nuts (plus seeds, legumes, and grains) into up to 2 liters of cow- (plus goat-, sheep-, and unicorn-) free milk in 3 steps and 5 to 12 minutes.
While the NutraMilk itself is pricy, and for that matter so are the nuts you'll soak and / or pulverize in the process, the benefits of an at-home machine to make your nut milks and butters include: 1) Selecting your own quality ingredients, and knowing exactly what they are; and 2) creating products free of emulsifiers and preservatives that suit your diet. (You'll sacrifice some shelf life on the milks, though average is at least 7 days.)
The NutraMilk handles all steps in the prep process for you, including soaking, straining, and filtering, so no cheesecloths or squeezing are required. Milks you can make using the machine include almond, cashew, hazelnut, coconut, hemp, sesame, rice, and oat.
To make nut and seed butters, the NutraMilk uses a different process, but requires the same hands-off approach from you. It can turn up to 5 cups of nuts / seeds into up to 3 cups of nut / see butter in a few minutes. You can also add other ingredients to the mix, such as dates, dried fruit, spices, and chocolate. NutraMilk non-dairy butters have a refrigerated shelf life of 90+ days.
DudeIWantThat.com is reader-supported. When you buy through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Learn more.
/testicuzzi-jacuzzi-for-the-39811.jpg?mode=crop "Testicuzzi - Jacuzzi for the Nuts")
Testicuzzi - Jacuzzi for the Nuts
Sadly - or maybe thankfully? - there are no photos of the Testicuzzi in action. At least not any this jacuzzi for the nuts' makers have published publicly. But one look at the empty hot tub - its contoured rim, its dual...
/balldo-ball-dildo-to-double-48060.jpg?mode=crop "balldo - Ball-Dildo to Double Your Penis Count (NSFW)")
balldo - Ball-Dildo to Double Your Penis Count (NSFW)
"Make 2021 the year of ballsex!" Well, balldo, it's not the worst idea anyone's ever had. Plus, given all the horrible things 2020 was the year of, and the lackluster way 2021 has kicked off, a brand new ball-dildo that...
Know Thy Nuts Soap on a Rope
I guess the Movember Store's Know Thy Nuts Soap on a Rope looks like a set of testicles. But it also looks like a lopsided butt and a white Grimace from the McDonald's commercials. So it wouldn't just make a great gift...
/nutshellz-level-i-bullet-33869.jpg?mode=crop "Nutshellz Level I Bullet Resistant Groin Cup")
Nutshellz Level I Bullet Resistant Groin Cup
Whoa. If I need a Nutshellz Level I bullet resistant groin cup it means I think I might be getting shot in the nuts. And if I'm getting shot in the nuts, it means the person doing the shooting is really evil, really hates...
/jawz-high-performance-blender-40831.jpg?mode=crop "JAWZ High Performance Blender")
JAWZ High Performance Blender
Get yourself a JAWZ Blender and chances are you're gonna need a bigger...appetite. Glass for your smoothie. Tupperware container for all that nut butter this 3.5HP whirring blade of pulverization is gonna spin you up...
Punch in the Nuts Snack Mix
Mmmmm, nothing hits the spot like a Punch in the Nuts. This Punch in the Nuts Snack Mix listing includes 6 nut-punching bags filled with cashews, peanuts, chocolate bits, and raisins. Get ready to whack your taste buds...
/tame-the-beast-nutt-butter-34580.jpg?mode=crop "Tame the Beast Nutt Butter Lotion")
Tame the Beast Nutt Butter Lotion
Tame the Beast's Nutt Butter isn't for no spreadin' on sammiches! ... Unless you're making a MAN SAMMICH! Nutt Butter is a multipurpose lotion whose primary purpose is to spruce up your nuts. It's a salve for your sack...
/mouse-melon-seeds-54230.jpg?mode=crop "Mouse Melon Seeds")
Mouse Melon Seeds
Looks like a watermelon, tastes like a cucumber, pops like a grape. Mouse Melons are itty bitty relatives of the cucumber that look, delightfully, like watermelons sized for your action figures. Or, perhaps in a less...
/zombie-plant-seeds-47782.jpg?mode=crop "Zombie Plant Seeds")
Zombie Plant Seeds
These Zombie Plant seeds are good for growing yourself a very interesting, and kid-friendly, kind of houseplant. It's called a Mimosa Pundica, and despite its colloquial name, this zombie-like plant won't try to eat you...
/oaxacan-green-dent-corn-49387.jpg?mode=crop "Oaxacan Green Dent Corn")
Oaxacan Green Dent Corn
Oooh, iridescent green corn on the cob lookin' all like a mermaid's tail. Or the Incredible Hulk. Or someone who never brushes their teeth. Alright, sign me up. I'm ready to get the captivating moss and emerald, clover...
/seeding-square-square-foot-55213.jpg?mode=crop "Seeding Square - Square Foot Gardening Template")
Seeding Square - Square Foot Gardening Template
Not much of a green thumb? Well then, use this Seeding Square gardening template and make sure all the little plants you grow...die perfectly positioned within its square foot grid. Wamp, wamp. The Seeding Square will...
/breaking-physics-cauliflower-50330.jpg?mode=crop "Breaking Physics Cauliflower")
Breaking Physics Cauliflower
Nothing like looking at a nice alien head of cauliflower to jump start my morning! I almost didn't need coffee to wake up when I saw this little green man cruciferous vegetable. I feel like I could use it as the subject...