Pelamatic Robito Almendra Electric Nut Cracker

Naomi is like one of those girls who is incredibly hot and arousing, but also kind of stony and completely unapproachable. Dare speak to her, or even look at her for one beat too long, and she'll crush your nuts like...

Munching on pistachios is my jam. Cracking open the shells, watching them pile up into a mountain of accomplished noshing. It's a fine way to spend a Saturday afternoon. But doing it can really leave an impression. A...

TIE Fighters may be fragile, but they're strong enough to crush your nuts. Rebel pecans, Jedi almonds, your only escape now is through my GI tract!...

I cannot trust the Torq Nutcracker to meet my pecan-crushing needs without a video. Come on, where's the video of this wicked-looking feat of black steel and 3D printing turning, turning, turning and cracking, cracking...

Our current Secretary of State and former First Lady certainly has her hands full these days. Fortunately her legs are free. And what better way to set them to purpose than busting nuts. Er... cracking balls. Wait...

Typically the words "ship" and "crack" do not go well together. But here, reimagined as a countertop brass ship wheel and nutcracker, they make a mighty fine pair, and give your unopened pecans and walnuts, your almonds...

I don't always crack open coconuts, but when I do...I usually require stitches, lose the use of my left thumb for several days, and get my mouthed washed out with soap by my mama. Coco Jack, a stainless steel push-and-pry...

Finally I can justify eating an entire jar of Nutella. The only problem is that these mini glass bottles of the creamerrific hazelnut spread come in packs of 16. So it's going to be like me and a bag of fun-size snickers:...

Anyone who likes spicy foods and a challenge will be delighted to receive this carefully selected 5-pack of Death Nuts under the tree this year. And everyone else will be equally stoked for the post-gift-opening entertainment...

There are now as many kinds of protein bars in the grocery store as there are cereal, chips, and cookies. But unlike the second group, most of which I will eat by the trough, I find that the majority of protein bars Suck...

You know what contentious pop culture debate on which I have no opinion? Nutella vs. Peanut Butter. Seriously Internet forums? You're warring over this? Each is a transcendentally delicious standout in the world of spreads...

Oh nuts, I just burned off a few hundred more taste buds (good thing the Internet says they'll grow back in a couple of weeks.) Da Bomb Ghost Pepper Nuts kiss an 8-ounce tin of everyone's favorite anaphylactic shock allergen...