Sushi Bazooka
/sushi-bazooka-4336.jpg "Sushi Bazooka")
- Sushi Roll Pillow - $18.99
- Sushezi Sushi Made Easy - $16.23
- Nigiri Sushi Magnets - $9.20
- Wasabi Lip Balm - $3.89
- Breakfast-Flavored Dental Floss - $4.88
On the eve of the Zombie/Mayan/Raining Fires of Hell Apocalypse, this Bazooka suggests humans band together, hunker down...and kick off the end of days with a sushi revolution! Men, women, children with developed fine motor skills! grab your bazookas! Let's get this sushi revolution going!
The Sushi Bazooka, in addition to be the raddest name for anything ever, was designed to ease the frustration and perpetual F'ing up of the at-home sushi making process. The washable 3-piece set includes an 11.6" tube that opens down the center for pressing down rice, and then topping with cucumbers, avocado, albacore, crab--whatever ingredients you want in your roll. Fold and secure the tube shut, and then use the bazooka pump to fire out a perfectly-shaped cylinder of Japanese-inspired decadence. Slice as is, or wrap in that nori seaweed shit, round up some soy sauce and wasabi, and mow down, dudes. Like a true chopstick- twirling, piehole-stuffing revolutionary.
Somewhat disillusioning disclaimer: The original Sushi Bazooka was not made in Japan by Japanese sushi masters. It was made in New Zealand. By Kiwis. I'm not sure how this news affects the device's authenticity. I mean, I guess New Zealand is kind of close to Japan. Maybe they share recipes and cooking tips. If nothing else, a New Zealand-made Sushi Bazooka means New Zealand-made instructions for use means directions for kabooming out a tube of raw fish are in English.
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