Back Alley Hooker Cards
The greatest love of all, is... apparently a hooker's love for her crack. I would argue there might be a stronger sentiment, but I've never tried crack before. I have been a hooker for a short period of time in the 80s, but everyone was hooking in the 80s, so I don't count that.
Sexy Gifts for that Special Someone (NSFW)
Some gifts are best left to Santa. But sexy gifts, especially sexy gifts for that someone special, those gifts are Baby Jesus territory all the way...
The Best Gifts for Revealing Yourself to Your Crush
It's just a little crush. Or is it a big crush? A tortuous, all-consuming, restless-nights-of-pining crush? A crush you feel like you'd do absolutely anything for...except sit them down, look them in the eye, and tell...
TheTouch Real-Time Heartbeat Rings
Want to feel close to a loved one far away? Or in the next room when it's too much work to get up off the couch? As part of their mission to "make the most personal connecting tools," TheTouch is finishing up development...
Throwing Card Knives
Watermelons. You poor bastards. Always on the receiving end of novelty weapon violence. The Gotcha Cap. The Unbreakable Slugger Umbrella. The <a href="https://www.dudeiwantthat.com/gear/weapons/blade-driver-crossbow.a
Bella Dolls Sex Doll Brothel (NSFW)
That's right, a sex doll brothel. Owned by a husband and wife team, Bella Dolls currently operates out of Vancouver, BC, though if you're closer to the Kamloops, BC area, you can partake in House of Dolls, their sex doll...
Virtual Mate Virtual Intimacy System (NSFW)
Get your 55-gallon barrels of lube out, dudes, because Virtual Mate is about to unleash some very slick new technology. Forget gifts for your girlfriend, this hyper-realistic VR sex game for your PC, laptop,
18 Nice Gifts for the Naughty (NSFW)
And by "nice gifts," I mean "sexy gifts," and by "naughty," I mean...you and yours, dudes and ladies! All of yours. Some assless yoga pants for your girlfriend. A spiraling male masturbator for your single brother. A...
Cards Against Humanity - A Vicious Party Game
Cards Against Humanity is basically a more blatantly raunchy and politically incorrect version of the game Apples to Apples. And Apples to Apples is basically an evolution of Mad Libs that better lends itself to large...
Diamond Ring Candles
Diamond Candles makes candles (duh) with embedded diamonds (du...really?) Each candle is guaranteed to contain a sparkly ring for its burner to discover as the wax diminishes. Granted, they're not all diamonds, and they're...
Drunk Stoned or Stupid
Usually the only people I credit for being clever, relevant, and hilarious are myself and sometimes Stephen Colbert, but the cards of party game Drunk Stoned or Stupid demonstrate there might be a few others out there...
You Is Fine Bears
Do you love her? Eh. Is she cute? Heh. She is way beyond cute, dude. Hot? HOT. Like... Hotter than Olivia Munn all tatted up and devouring a chili dog in a Xena costume? Uh... Basically every time I see her all I can...
Sexy Santa: 20 Naughty Gifts for Your Partner (NSFW)
I came up with this Sexy Santa collection of 20 Naughty Gifts for Your Partner after my wife, She-Ra: Princess of Power, ix-nayed my inclusion of an item called Candy Nipple Tassels in my roundup of 29 holiday gifts for...