Candles of the Year by Anecdote Candles
The flicker fiends at Anecdote Candles hand-pour all of their candles using a coconut-soy wax blend, except the 2020 Candle of the Year, which they hired God to pour using his special concoction of fire and brimstone. Don't worry, though, he's also scented it with WFH & WTF: a subtle blend of jasmine, mandarin, sandalwood, and amber that will provide enough comfort ("Welp, things can't get any worse!") and optimism ("Next year will be better!") to carry us through to 2021.
Which, despite not having arrived yet, already has its own Candle of the Year, called "2021. Smells like not soon enough." Enjoy fragrances of cedarwood, green leaves, lavender, vanilla, tonka amber, and oud and, better yet, use them to cleanse your home and life of the bad energy, bad juju, and bad politicians that stunk up 2020.
Rekindle Regenerating Candlestick
While I would prefer a wax color more masculine than pink, I--What? Pink is the color of unconditional love and nurturing? Oh. OK, Mama.--I guess my mama likes pink. Yep... Working from home today... Anyway, I applaud...
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WTF Prank Candles
WTF does using the term "WTF" in reference to a candle mean? In a nutshell: "Mmmm, this smells incredible! Just like the apple pie my grandma used to make with the shortbread crust and the...gaaaaasssspppp!. W...T...F...is...
Diamond Ring Candles
Diamond Candles makes candles (duh) with embedded diamonds (du...really?) Each candle is guaranteed to contain a sparkly ring for its burner to discover as the wax diminishes. Granted, they're not all diamonds, and they're...
Man Can - Gun Powder Scented Candle
Man Cans. Scented candles for men. No. For Men. Endorsed by Thor, Indiana Jones, and the Dos Equis guy. This one smells like a spent shotgun shell. At $9.50, it also smells like I'm done looking for a Father's Day gift...
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Skull Candle Holder with Bleeding Brain Candle
Bleeding candles are nothing new...huh. What a weird truth. I can think of at least 2 types of bleeding candle I have already shown you - The Melting Hand Bloody Candle and Stranger Things Eleven Bleeding
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My Last F*ck Candle
My Last F*ck Candle. Presumably this is the one you'll burn when all of the disasters, the shockers, and the newest pieces of trash to hit social media become too much to process, too much to reconcile. When the only...
Raiders of the Lost Ark Melting Toht Candle
Nothing like a hot day in the south or the Ark of the Covenant to make you feel like your face is gonna melt off. Though after my wee and innocent 6-year-old eyes were scarred for life watching Major Arnold Ernst Toht...
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Torch Plant Light Botanical Candle
How precious. A floating puff of plant with an LED light at its end. Though overpriced by a factor of 8, the Torch Plant Light Botanical Candle is a clever centerpiece designed by Japan's Pianta x Stanza to look like...
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Skeleton in a Skull Bathtub Candle
Is there some sort of metaphor to be drawn from the Skeleton in a Skull Bathtub Candle? Take a dip in your own mind? Relax with your thoughts? Wade through your memories...and maybe figure out how you died and got cursed...
Minecraft Light-Up Torch
My 12-year-old nephew plays Minecraft all day long. I'm not exaggerating. I got him a lime green Minecraft Creeper Beanie for Christmas. So that if he ever decides to stop playing Minecraft and go outside his ears won't...
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Earwax Candle Kit
Here comes the Earwax Candle Kit just when you thought you couldn't find the perfect gift for your mom. I don't know about yours but I know my mama loves candles, and also hates waste, and based on the number of used...
Yank Me Candles
Yank Me Candles are terrific gag or white elephant gifts in the vein of WTF Prank Candles, but with a different kind of blood pulsing through them. The latter have delightful sounding names, such as Apple Pie, on the...