Don't Stop. Be Leaving. Doormat
I'd call the Don't Stop. Be Leaving. Doormat the ultimate Dad joke, but Dad would never be so rude to a visitor. And Dad would never wish a visitor to go away, even salespeople, and Mormons who want to teach him about Joseph Smith, and especially his daughter Kayleigh's date Tucker. Or maybe he'd be unable to resist the welcome mat's brilliant humor, but answer the door, "Don't stop. Be leaving? No! Don't stop, be comin' on inside!"
Then Dad would ask the salesman / Mormons / Tucker if they want some hot tea or cocoa, and engage them in a friendly chat about how: they could do so much better than door-to-door sales; his wife is the only former, current, and latter day saint he needs around here; and if Kayleigh isn't home by 10, he'll don his Dadbag and Teva Ember Mocs and come get her himself.
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