Octopus Pipe
/octopus-pipe-3898.jpg "Octopus Pipe")
Usually when some smug schmuck tells me to put that in my pipe and smoke it I must restrain myself from punching them in the face. But I think part of the reason such restraint is necessary is that I don't often enough put that in my pipe and smoke it. So probably I need a pipe. A pipe both mesmerizing and calming. A pipe capable of drowning my ire for self-important mongers of cliches in a heavy fog of cracklin' marijuana. A hand-blown glass pipe with eight loping tentacles and buggy eyes that seem to promise years of ambivalent companionship. An Andromeda Glass Octopus Pipe, to serve as an emblem of the chapter in my life that will thrive on chillness and peace of mind, and refute instinctual anger and violence.
Except when directed towards dysfunctional bureaucracies and supremely stupid people, of course.
The featured mollusk was blown from Onyx Black, and configured such that his head functions as the pipe's finger rest. A host of additional intricate and captivating octopus designs and color combinations also populate Andromeda Glass' shop, with prices ranging from $40 to $275, and colors Acid Trip Pillow to Beetlejuice Suit. All pipes are functional.
/octopus-headphone-wall-hanger-61562.jpg?mode=crop "Octopus Headphone Wall Hanger")
Octopus Headphone Wall Hanger
Guess how many pairs of headphones you can hang from the Octopus Headphone Wall Hanger. ... Wrong! Not eight, but nine. Nine over-ear headsets will fit on M3is3D's rockin' octo, because the pink 'pus is an audiophile...
/The-Animal-Chair-Collection-333.jpg?mode=crop "The Animal Chair Collection")
The Animal Chair Collection
The Animal Chair collection constitutes a diverse range of species, from mammals to reptiles, and even insects. Each creation retains the animal's natural vitality whilst being totally biologically accurate in their appearance...
Kraken Flasks
Rejoice ye liquor-sipping non-smokers who thought the Octopus Pipes we featured last month would be cool, if only you inhaled. Kraken Flasks are here to evoke equal reverence from those who enjoy a fine swig of Scotch...
Octopus Kite
I don't think the giant 3D Octopus Kite that's for sale is quite the same as the giant 3D Octopus Kite flying in the above video. But maybe your kids won't notice that when, after showing them the graceful cephalopod...
Octopus Couch
Really this couch is called the Aster Papposus Sofa, but who knows what the hell an aster papposus is? I can't even pronounce those words together, and have just resorted to reading them as Snuffleupagus. To whom the...
/the-rocktopus-52957.jpg?mode=crop "The Rocktopus")
The Rocktopus
Can you smell what The Rocktopus is cooking?! Mmmm, pulpo a la plancha...
/alfred-the-giant-crochet-55991.jpg?mode=crop "Alfred the Giant Crochet Octopus")
Alfred the Giant Crochet Octopus
I can't tell exactly how giant Alfred the Giant Crochet Octopus is, but if the evidence in the image gallery above is any indication, he appears to be the equivalent of 1 x standard lady who has not yet mastered the art...
/kraken-dildo-54104.jpg?mode=crop "Kraken Dildo")
Kraken Dildo
Unleash the Kraken Dildo! Seven inches long and suction-cup ready for anal penetration! ... Uh, what? On second thought, dude, keep that thing to yourself. I'm still reeling over the Corn Dog Butt Plug...
/pearl-diver-octopus-water-31933.jpg?mode=crop "Pearl Diver Octopus Water Fountain")
Pearl Diver Octopus Water Fountain
Yarr! I got me a wicked tharrst! Unleash the Kraken...water fountain. Sean M. Monaghan designed this octopus fountain, called Pearl Diver, for SPLASH! restaurant in the Santa Cruz Municipal Wharf. The double drinker is...
Iyashi Octopus Sucker Massager
Hmmm, what do you think, is that picture Photoshopped? And if it isn't would you consider having a pinky-sized chunk of your cheek Stretch Armstrong-ed a foot away from your face: 1) relaxing; and 2) $81 well spent?...
Tentacled Shower Head
It's like...Kraken meets...car wash. Though Vado's adjustable shower head sculpture is missing the 2 arms that would elevate it to true octo status, 5 minutes behind the curtain flipping and pointing this spraying beast...
Jellyfish Lamps
I got stung by a jellyfish once in the evil waters of Florida's Gulf Coast. On the ankle. Yeah, the stories are true. It hurts like a mother. I don't know how Will Smith did it in Seven Pounds, aka The Saddest Movie Ever...