Please Hide Packages from Husband Doormat

"Just text us when you're here. No need to knock and get the dogs involved." Whether you're a pet owner or not, this doormat sends a relatable message. And since anyone who comes over is certainly on their phone right...

Ever fantasized about stepping across a babbling brook every time you cross your threshold? The River Rock Floor Mat turns that whimsy into reality, minus the soggy socks. Crafted with the smoothest stones that Mother...

I'd call the Don't Stop. Be Leaving. Doormat the ultimate Dad joke, but Dad would never be so rude to a visitor. And Dad would never wish a visitor to go away, even salespeople, and Mormons who want to teach him about...

I'll welcome only those with webbed feet into my home this Halloween. Feet, that is, that have been wiped clean on my Spider Web Light Up Doormat...

If you're gonna be a doormat, may as well be a Tile doormat that can say whatever the F it wants! The Tile Mat is a fully customizable, and infinitely changeable, floor mat consisting of a white snap-in backing and black...

What?! A snow-melting stair mat? And a baby demonstrating its use?! But the best part of accumulated Mother Nature dandruff is watching little kids wipe out trying to navigate through it! I do feel bad for old people...

Though not as blood-curdling as a breaching shark in an elevator, an alligator snarling up through a manhole cover on my front doorstep should make uninvited visitors take pause long enough to second guess their decision...

If you think "audacity" is too harsh of a word for this doormat...then you are almost certainly they type of person who doesn't call or text before "stopping by" people's homes. You are also the type of person I bought...

I think what I would do if I had this RPG command doormat is carry it around to other people's front doorsteps with me instead of installing it on my own...

Will the Mud Scrubber Rubber Brush Mat finally get my mama off my back about my feet? My feet that are only wet and muddy and covered with ice melt because I was out shoveling her sidewalk?...

Sure you could use a knife to clean the caked dirt and gunk out of the crevices of your shoes. You could also use a knife to clean the caked dirt and gunk out from under your fingernails. But it's probably not the best...