Combat Garden Gnome
/Combat-Garden-Gnome-1414.jpg "Combat Garden Gnome")
People just can't wait to pervert emblems of peace and goodwill, can they? First the benevolent garden gnome goes zombie and now he's Charlton Heston. Still, at under a foot tall, these combative cuties make perfect pairs--or full squadrons--for anyone who wants to intimidate the neighbors' encroaching cats, while simultaneously decreasing their property values. Weaponry choices include US Marine Corps darling, the M16A2 assault rifle, and the AK-47, stereotypical favorite of the Amish. One word of warning: despite the anti-social message a gun-totin' lawn bauble seems to convey, what installing it in your yard really says is "Attention Rednecks! Mi casa es su casa!"
/double-barrel-pistol-8191.jpg?mode=crop "Double Barrel Pistol")
Double Barrel Pistol
The AF2011-A1 Double Barrel Pistol is a first on two counts. It's the first ever double barrel semiautomatic pistol manufactured for sale (not available yet, but on deck for Fall 2012). And, after getting a load of the...
Grizzly 8.5" Magfed Shotgun
No one has written a Wikipedia article on Dominion Arms' Grizzly 8.5 magfed shotgun yet, and no one has given me a Dominion Arms Grizzly 8.5 mag fed shotgun yet, so all I can really say about it is that from the very...
Super Shorty Shotgun
The Super Shorty Shotgun is based on a Mossberg Maverick 12-gauge, and, at an additional cost, is also available in models Mossberg 500, Remington 870, and Lil' Kim. Factory-fabricated with a pistol grip, the Super Shorty...
The TAC-SAC Rail Accessory
Last time me and my friend Cornelius played paintball he kept getting nailed and hiding and whining like a little goat until finally everyone was like, Dude, you need to grow a pair! And he was all, Dude! It's not me...
/salt-self-defense-gun-32170.jpg?mode=crop "SALT Self-Defense Gun")
SALT Self-Defense Gun
Lorenzo Maggiore already figured out how to A-Salt bugs in an effort keep our extermination of insects simple, clean, and green. Now we have a means of SALTing humans, this time in an effort to keep our defense against...
/Zombie-Gnomes-Bye-Bye-Birdie-571.jpg?mode=crop "Zombie Gnomes: Bye Bye Birdie")
Zombie Gnomes: Bye Bye Birdie
This is what we call an imperfect synergy. In the battle of the two tackiest, yet most often seen yard decorations (no offense fake plastic deer), it looks as if the gnomes have won. And it was bloody. Zombie gnomes 1...
/8-12-foot-tall-garden-gnome-56189.jpg?mode=crop "8-1/2-Foot-Tall Garden Gnome Statue")
8-1/2-Foot-Tall Garden Gnome Statue
It's gonna be tough to schlep this garden gnome around the world with you for photo ops, but I'll bet if you do the 8-1/2-foot lawn ornament will help your Instagram account go viral. Who wouldn't want to follow Gottfried...
/The-357-Magnum-Gun-Hair-Dryer-874.jpg?mode=crop "The 357 Magnum Gun Hair Dryer")
The 357 Magnum Gun Hair Dryer
A real "blast" from the past. In a clever display of grooming irony, users shoot this vintage 357 Magnum Hair Dryer at their heads to avoid committing style suicide. We can see it now, the biggest public service campaign...
Bulletproof Polo Shirt
If the acute fear of being assassinated on the golf course has kept you from swinging your 9-iron too many times to count, welcome to the start of the rest of your life. Breezy, bulletproof, and cleared for the country...
Femme Fatale Ring Gun
Ladies with a vendetta, or a penchant for jewelry that also serves as a weapon, I'm afraid you can't buy the Femme Fatale Ring Gun. (Unless the person who paid $11,350 for it at auction would be willing to sell it to...
/wasp-less-lethal-weapon-42074.jpg?mode=crop "WASP Less-Lethal Weapon Accessory")
WASP Less-Lethal Weapon Accessory
The WASP weapon accessory is an add-on for your existing 9mm pistol that converts it into a less-lethal self defense option for a single round. The WASP impact baton fits into the gun's barrel and, when fired, shoots...
/the-big-bang-pistol-set-32456.jpg?mode=crop "The Big Bang Pistol Set")
The Big Bang Pistol Set
Cabot Guns has forged a few big bangs into its Big Bang Pistol set. The matched left and right pair of 1911s aren't just two of a kind, the only two Cabot has and will ever build (bang!), they're two of a kind made entirely...