Chainmail Ties
/chainmail-ties-6970.jpg "Chainmail Ties")
- Chainmail Smartphone Case - $8.05
- Duct Tape Necktie - $19.99
- Bacon Tie - $17.50
- Stainless Steel Mesh Hand Glove - $89.00
- Chainmail Cast Iron Pan Scrubber - $19.98
Previously if someone had asked me how to make bow ties more dapper I would have called trick question BS. You! Can't! I would have exclaimed. Their plaid and polka-dotted prints have propelled them to their dapper pinnacle, which is not only the pinnacle of bow tie dapperness, but the pinnacle of all claimants to the dapper family, including sweater vests, fresh haircuts, colors that complement skin tone, and Sure Fuck Cologne.
That was previously.
But now that Marci Million has introduced the bow tie to chainmail--as in the ultimate in contemporary formalwear meets medieval chivalry--well, whoa. I know bow ties aren't usually comparable to asses, but all I can say is I don't think I'm ready for that jelly.
Million's chainmail tie collection includes silver and black bow ties, as well as silver and striped neckties. All are handmade to order from lightweight aluminum rings. Bow ties measure 5 1/4" wide x 2 1/4" tall, neckties 18" long x 1-5/8" wide. They attach around the neck via a chain with hooks to preclude futile tying efforts.
Chainmail Shoes
I suppose calling these shoes PaleoBarefoots, their true name, appeals to a wider market, given the current eat-and-function-like-a-caveman craze popularized by the likes of CrossFit and Mark Sisson, but Chainmail Shoes...
Wild Knight Dog Armor
Your canine ca-knight in shining armor has arrived! With one caveat: Lebovskiart, the Bulgarian designer of the shining armor, reports that his dog "does not like very much these strange clothes." But for him at least...
3D Printed Cat Armor
Now that the dog is Kevlared, spiked, and pokey bristled to the hilt with a CoyoteVest, it's time to turn your attention to armoring the cat. True, you've had the leather Cat Battle Armor option for a couple of years...
Chainmail Bikini Top
Cosplay, Comic-Con, even the swimming pool. Yes, this handwoven chainmail bikini top is waterproof and primed for a summer of splashing, floating, and breaststroking medieval style. All that's missing is the sea serpent...
Pac-Man Suit
All the Ms. Pacs out there will melt in your arms when they get a look at your new arcade on a suit. OppoSuits, known for their quirky twists on classic menswear, has put Pac-Man to fabric and sewn him into a 3-piece...
/dragonscale-gauntlets-48495.jpg?mode=crop "Dragon Scale Gauntlets")
Dragon Scale Gauntlets
Who on earth needs a pair of Dragon Scale Gauntlets? No wait, let me rephrase that: who on earth doesn't need a pair of Dragon Scale Gauntlets? Especially a pair of Dragon Scale Gauntlets so striking. So detailed, and...3D...
Batman v. Superman Wooden Bow Ties
As Batman and Superman duke it out on the big screen for Best (and Most Smug) Superhero, you and your friend Cornelius can clip on a pair of WoodnAx Batman and Superman wooden bow ties and duke it out in real life for...
The Pillow Tie
Neck-to-pillow contact : Kelly Brook :: Neck-to-tie contact : Rosie O'Donnell. Therefore, neck-to-Pillow-Tie contact = hmmm, Zooey Deschanel? Or maybe topless Anna Paquin. Listen, Pillow Ties are not a substitute for...
Scalemail Spaulders
Fashion-forward and cosplaying ladies will love these scalemail spaulders and choker from Silmaril Clothing. Dudes, you might like them too if you can tear your eyes away from the model's tattoo long enough to check them...
Laser Pointer Tactical Necktie
Does a necktie equipped with a laser pointer and MOLLE system take the current tactical fad a step too far? Yeah, but...I kind of want one, so...on second thought, definitely not. ThinkGeek's tactical tie is fitted with...
Chainmail Cast Iron Pan Scrubber
Dish Soap + Cast Iron Cookware = Very Bad Cleaning Method. But evidently, Chainmail + Cast Iron Cookware = World's Best Pot and Pan Scrubber. The CM Scrubber looks like a cross between a potholder and the second ugliest...
/neptunic-steel-mesh-sharksuit-39328.jpg?mode=crop "Neptunic Steel Mesh Sharksuit")
Neptunic Steel Mesh Sharksuit
Neptunic's Sharksuit, a stainless steel chainmail diver's suit, is kinda like cage diving with sharks. Except rather than being inside the cage that's going to protect you, you're wearing it. So you can actually touch...