Face ID Compatible Respirator Masks
- Eco Solutions N95 Respirator with Valve - $25.99
- Mouse Facial Recognition Anti-Spoofing Hands-Free Login Web Camera - $69.99
- Acroprint timeQplus FaceVerify Facial Recognition Time & Attendance System - $429.99
- blurams Home Pro Security Camera with Facial Recognition - $49.98
- Fingerprint Electronic Door Lock with Face Recognition - $499.98
Face ID compatible respirator masks are surgical masks printed with the bottom half of your actual face to facilitate biometric recognition when you're contagious, or in the midst of a viral outbreak. That part is clear. What is unclear, both to me and to the creators of the face ID compatible respirator masks, is whether or not these are a joke.
No joke on that. The masks are still in development, but in answer to the "Is this a joke?" FAQ on their website, would-be makers Resting Risk Face say, "Yes. No. We're not sure. Viruses are not a joke. Wash your hands when you can. And get vaccines when you can." And, I'd add, get in on some microbe smackdown when you can.
If face ID compatible respirator masks were real and forthcoming, they would be N95 respiratory masks custom printed with the buyer's face, such that they work with facial recognition software during viral epidemics. "Facial recognition software" refers to the stuff embedded in your smartphone. And also probably the stuff embedded in every other nook and cranny of public and private infrastructure by your friendly government.
Ah yes, your face and the government. The reason I - and probably Resting Risk Face - believe face ID compatible respirator masks work better as an artistic piece of social commentary than a real product to buy!buy!buy!
On the other hand, I wonder what would happen if me and my friend Cornelius each had Resting Risk Face print our faces on a respirator mask, and then switched with one another. We could 1) give Big Brother the slip CV Dazzle-style; and 2) freak the rest of our friends, not to mention our mamas, the F out next Halloween.
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Star Wars Face Masks
May the 4th be with you, and may the Rona be in a galaxy far, far away. This series of Star Wars face masks is from Ethical Addiction, made in honor of favorite franchise characters - from Chewbacca to Vader, Yoda (adult-size)...
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BioVYZR 1.0
While definitely funk and futuristic in its appearance, the BioVYZR 1.0 - which, by the way, isn't even from the land of funk that is Japan, it's from Canada! - is nowhere near the craziest face mask or headwear EDC I've...
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Your Face Custom Face Masks
Your own face on a face mask. The option has been available, and shown a few different faces of itself, for years now - remember the creepy Realface clone? - but this one from Obscure A Tees is made in the face of Covid-19...
/blocc-reusable-face-shield-45092.jpg?mode=crop "Blocc Reusable Face Shield")
Blocc Reusable Face Shield
The Blocc face shield is here to face off with your wandering hands and Shut. Them Down. No matter how charming, how persuasive, how pushy they get, Blocc will turn into your personal bouncer, a polycarbonate wall of...
/the-dad-mask-43763.jpg?mode=crop "The Dad Mask")
The Dad Mask
The Dad Mask is laced up and ready to shield against viruses, filter out allergens and dust particles, thwart lawnmower fumes, stave off grill smoke, absorb all grass stains, and enshroud the mug of the man, the myth...
Personalized Freak Masks
While Firebox will personalize these Freak Masks with your own face, or the face in any photo you upload and send them, I smell a branding opportunity here for hip-hop artist Ski Mask the Slump God. Ski masks of Ski Mask...
/lumen-couture-led-face-47596.jpg?mode=crop "Lumen Couture LED Face Changing Mask")
Lumen Couture LED Face Changing Mask
Lumen Couture's LED Face Changing Mask isn't intended to be a funkified piece of pandemic PPE, though if you're ready to go all in on facial coverings, I guess it would serve you as well as your double-ply cloth options...
/atmos-air-purifying-face-mask-42474.jpg?mode=crop "Atmos Air-Purifying Face Mask")
Atmos Air-Purifying Face Mask
Ao Air hopes their forthcoming Atmos face mask will be - oh yeah - a breath of fresh air amidst a market of otherwise constricting, uncomfortable, and butt ugly wearable air purifiers. In addition to "a more human experience"...
/10-of-the-most-pandemic-46149.jpg?mode=crop "10 of the Most Pandemic Friendly Halloween Costumes")
10 of the Most Pandemic Friendly Halloween Costumes
In addition to calling this collection of Halloween costumes "pandemic friendly" I would call Halloween itself a pandemic friendly holiday. So many options either inherently have full-head and face masks, or make it easy...
/full-face-trapper-hat-with-47167.jpg?mode=crop "Full Face Trapper Hat with Goggles")
Full Face Trapper Hat with Goggles
Goofy? Yes. Overkill? Maybe. But let's also review all the ways in which this full face trapper hat - with goggles! - is exactly the piece of headwear you need right now. Or at least need to get as a gift for your girlfriend...
/isphere-pandemic-ready-head-45719.jpg?mode=crop "iSphere Pandemic-Ready Head Dome")
iSphere Pandemic-Ready Head Dome
The iSphere head dome, in addition to providing full upper orifice coverage in the face of the COVID-19 global pandemic, finally gives us an opening to take astronaut cosplay and little green men LARPing to the streets...
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Firemask Emergency Escape Hood
I feel like, for the average American, the likelihood of experiencing a house fire is way higher than the likelihood of experiencing a nuclear biological chemical situation, but it's gas masks that get all the bug out...