Denim Thong Underwear
I particularly like that the Denim Thong Underwear have the words, "Do what you love" printed on the right side of their wearer's crotch. Inspiration, and motivation, for ladies who might wonder if they should be having so much sexy time, as well as a notification to their sexy time partners that they best love what they're about to do, and follow it up with a sparkly, finger-sized indication of that love in the near future, or the next time the pants come off, instead of the Denim Thong, they'll find a pair of Lord of the Rings Underwear instead.
I know. I just spent 100 words discussing the Denim Thong Underwear, and didn't even get to how delightfully redneck they are yet! Who needs a gag gift for a lady? Or a legit gift for the maybe-lady, maybe-not, but definitely newly single MTG? And why stop at the ladies? Would Florida's and California's fine beaches not become even finer with a Denim Thonged DeSantis and Newsom frolicking campaigning frolicking in their sand and surf?
And if you don't like the idea of denim rubbing up against your sensitive bits, don't worry. The underwear are denim in appearance only, but really made with polyester and Spandex, and sewn with flat seams, soft edges, and no elastic bands or labels.
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Lightsaber Willy Warmer
This Lightsaber Willy Warmer might be the finest expression of Grandmas's yarn I ever saw. Not a bad tribute to Star Wars either, presuming you've mastered The Force well enough to wield this saber once it's fired up...
/mens-half-thong-nsfw-41866.jpg?mode=crop "Men's Half Thong (NSFW)")
Men's Half Thong (NSFW)
Never mind all the male bush and taint action going on in these Men's Half Thong photos, what I really want to know is: how the half thong does a dude wear a half thong? How does it stay on? Is there an adhesive involved?...
/oral-me-thong-underwear-38729.jpg?mode=crop "Oral Me Thong Underwear")
Oral Me Thong Underwear
This isn't the first time a thong has been compared to dental floss. But with the Oral Me thong underwear, ladies might be more inclined to accept, maybe even champion, the connection. Because here it's not about some...
/personalized-name-or-message-54367.jpg?mode=crop "Personalized Name or Message Thong")
Personalized Name or Message Thong
Although these personalized name or message thong underwear are super...duper...sexy, I could never ask my wife, She-Ra: Princess of Power, to place a chain link g-string between her cheeks. I mean, eek. Talk about a...
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5-Toe Flip-Flops
These 5-toe flip-flops are made by Sazzi, and I know I sure can't think of a better word to describe them. Made with 10 separate, articulating toe platforms and a post (i.e., thong, tha-thong, thong, thong) to cordon...
/black-cat-bra-56492.jpg?mode=crop "Black Cat Bra")
Black Cat Bra
Ladies, want some kitties for your titties? And your kitty, because this black cat bra also comes with a matching thong. The lingerie set from Adore Me adds a pair of cute cat pasties to an unlined black tulle bra, plus...
/rihannas-savage-x-fenty-53793.jpg?mode=crop "Rihanna's Savage X Fenty Lingerie for Men")
Rihanna's Savage X Fenty Lingerie for Men
Rihanna's Savage X Fenty lingerie line originally set out to disrupt the industry and redefine sexy with fashionable designs that are both affordable and suited to all types of bodies. The recently released Savage X Fenty...
/strip-straps-ankle-straps-27051.jpg?mode=crop "Strip-Straps - Ankle Straps for Flip-Flops")
Strip-Straps - Ankle Straps for Flip-Flops
Name that sound: Smack, smack, smack...hrrghh! It's your flip-flops flip-flopping along a trail, boat deck, or sidewalk. And then it's your flip-flops catching an edge and slipping off your foot while you grunt out an...
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Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Mankini
Rudolph Mankini, reporting for sleigh-driving, eye-popping, nut-hugging duty! Christmas suit meets birthday suit in this jolly, Borat-approved (and sexy-time-ready!) men's thong. Ownership of the Rudolph Mankini means...
Fundies: Underwear Built for Two
According to every woman's favorite book, The Five Love Languages, physical touch is the predominant type of love males enjoy receiving, while quality time earns high marks with the ladies. Fundies, a chic pair of tandem...
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Lorals Latex Panties - A New Way to Say Yes to Oral
Finally! A wearable dental dam! Lorals Latex Panties, despite being able to stop right there - latex panties? I'm in! Wrap some in every style up as a gift for my wife - aren't just sexy underwear to look at, they're...
Show Me Your Kitty Panties
Cats hide in the darndest of places, don't they? Etsy shop owner Elena prints adorable images of kitties onto semi-sexy pairs of underwear to create the overall awesome effect of the literal cuddly creature ladies obsess...