Tetris Swimsuit
/tetris-swimsuit-3521.jpg "Tetris Swimsuit")
What's better than a girl wearing skin-sucking Lycra pants with legs smattered in Tetris blocks? A girl wearing no pants. With an ass smattered in Tetris blocks. Just in time for the heat, the beach, and the pubescent teenagers scared to death their true feelings might be revealed through their ultra-thin board shorts, Black Milk Clothing has snipped and re-sewn its wicked Tetris Leggings into a Tetris Swimsuit. And the company would like to point out that you can even swim in it! Uh...we guess that's in addition to more traditional activities requiring swimsuits, such as beach volleyball, sorority car washes, and getting into places for free. The Tetris pool companion is a polyester/nylon/Lycra blend, and comes in sizes XS through L.
Anatomical Leggings
Been scouring the racks for pants that display your ass as the true anatomical masterpiece it is? Black Milk Clothing's skin-tight anatomical leggings won't just enhance the curves of your posterior, they'll show off...
Flayed Flesh Garters
Take peek-a-boo garters to the next level: peek-a-boo blood vessels and layers of muscle tissue, courtesy of open-wound prostheses and stocking accoutrements from Etsy's Meaghan O'Keefe. A pair of unpainted latex prostheses...
/shocked-trump-swinsuit-62314.jpg?mode=crop "Shocked Trump Swimsuit")
Shocked Trump Swimsuit
Ever thought the beach was missing a bit of... politics? Well, fear no more! The Donald Trump Swimsuit is here to fill that void. Imagine this: a one-piece swimsuit emblazoned with the larger-than-life, zoomed-in face...
/sharkini-swimsuit-8700.jpg?mode=crop "Sharkini Swimsuit")
Sharkini Swimsuit
Sharks are scary. Girls are scary. Gaaahhh! It's the worst hybrid ever! To all Dude Facebook readers who expressed sentiments of peeved off at our posting of a Sharkini photo without information about where to throw wads...
The Batman Collection
Black Milk Clothing's Batman Collection has a Batsuit for every type of crime a girl could want to fight. For example, not looking hot. Or not showing enough leg. Not showing enough cleavage. Not wearing a belted Bat-Signal...
Middle Earth Map Leggings
Control Middle-earth--and likely all male Elves, Wizards, Orcs, Dragons, Dwarves, Ents, and Hobbits--for under $100. You don't even have to enter into battle or acquire Rings of Power. Leave it to Black Milk Clothing...
Skirt Length Sluttiness Stockings
While these may not be the definitive measurement for exactly how a lady is feeling, they're certainly guaranteed to provoke some interesting conversation. From "demure" to "dangerous" the Leg's Talk stockings provide...
Mass Effect Clothing
I know many of you are thinking it, so I'm just gonna put it on paper: the mass effect of Black Milk's Mass Effect body-hugging clothing collection is to effectively give every male fan of the video game series a massive...
The Game of Thrones Collection
The start of Season 4 may still be a few weeks away, but Black Milk's Game of Thrones clothing collection drops in mere hours. Houses Stark, Lannister, Targaryen, and Baratheon represent in an array of nakedness shields...
/finfolk-custom-mermaid-tails-12616.jpg?mode=crop "Finfolk Custom Mermaid Tails")
Finfolk Custom Mermaid Tails
By what magnitude would the awesomeness of mud wrestling increase if all the ladies participating got to wear a Finfolk Productions 100% dragonskin and platinum cure silicone mermaid tail? Muddy, slippery, rolling on...
Tetris Sandwich Cutter
What can I say about the Tetris sandwich cutter except that it cuts sandwiches into shapes based on the all-time best of all games of all time? UNO can barely crawl out of its little paper carton in the presence of Tetris...
Tetris Leggings
And you thought her legs couldn't get any more hypnotizing. Wearing a pair of Tetris leggings basically means slinking around in a second skin of polyester, retro-chic Nintendo graphics, and errant flecks of drool from...