The Not Hot Blanket
If the eyes are a window to the soul, then the Not Hot Blanket is a window...for that one damn leg that needs some fresh air. Just a little pop-out from under the covers so you don't wake up from a sweet dream about Charlize Theron with the night sweats.
Well, that's a bad example. Probably if you're dreaming about Charlize Theron, you're waking up wet one way or the other.
Though one of Matt Benedetto's latest Unnecessary Inventions, I think the Not Hot Blanket isn't an unnecessary invention at all. We, dudes and ladies the world over who inexplicably run several degrees warmer at night, need this lower extremity ventilation solution. The leg flap on the Not Hot Blanket is just as useful for that one hot leg that needs some fresh air as the drop-seat flap on a pair of onesie pajamas is for that one hot ass that needs the toilet.
The Not Hot Blanket would also make a great birthday or Dirty Santa gift for my Aunt Jan, and Karen from your office. I do love me some double entendre and passive aggression!
/human-burrito-blanket-29171.jpg "Human Burrito Blanket")
Human Burrito Blanket
A couple of giant Human Burrito Blankets will make sure your Tortilla Baby knows who Mommy and Daddy are. At 5' in diameter, I'd be able to roll up one fine bean, cheese, rice, and man meat burrito in this flour tortilla...
/crochet-penis-blanket-49439.jpg?mode=crop "Crochet Penis Blanket")
Crochet Penis Blanket
Cozy up next to the fire pit with a warm, cuddly...cock & balls?! This Crochet Penis Blanket from Naughty Mature Gifts will make you snug as a bug in a...er...opposite of rug on cool summer evenings and <a href="https://www.dudeiwantthat.com/blog/the...
/smartduvet-breeze-heat-cool-27692.jpg?mode=crop "Smartduvet Breeze Heat & Cool Self-Making Bed")
Smartduvet Breeze Heat & Cool Self-Making Bed
The Smartduvet self-making bed - no, really. The bed makes itself. Just watch. And that's old news. Smartduvet is now launching a next generation of their smart bedding, the Breeze, that adds dual-zone climate control...
/kotatsu-heated-table-24782.jpg?mode=crop "Kotatsu Heated Table")
Kotatsu Heated Table
Do you have to be a girl to want one of these super-cozy-looking Japanese Kotatsu? Do you have to be a girl to use the term "super-cozy-looking?" Oh well then. Call me a big ol' girl and send me a big ol' heated blanket...
/the-magic-weighted-blanket-27430.jpg?mode=crop "The Magic Weighted Blanket")
The Magic Weighted Blanket
The Magic Weighted Blanket uses a therapeutic approach similar to the Gravity Blanket we saw here last month, with a couple of key differences: 1) The Magic Weighted Blanket is made of baby-bunny-soft chenille and sold...
Makes Itself Bedding
While Smart Bedding can't claim to be another OHEA self-making bed, it can boast of its analogous ingenuity at a fraction of the cost and complexity of the full-on mechanized version. Using a simple duvet-top sheet snap...
/the-17-best-gifts-to-warm-you-47421.jpg?mode=crop "The 17 Best Gifts to Warm You Up & Keep You Warm")
The 17 Best Gifts to Warm You Up & Keep You Warm
When I say "The 17 Best Gifts to Warm You Up & Keep You Warm," I guess what I really mean is "The 17 Best Gifts to Warm Her Up & Keep Her Warm." At least that's the case in my household. Be it my wife, She-Ra: Princess...
/gravity-therapeutic-weighted-27055.jpg?mode=crop "Gravity Therapeutic Weighted Blanket")
Gravity Therapeutic Weighted Blanket
The Gravity Blanket is like a big, wraparound, hours-long hug. John Fiorentino created his weighted cover as a therapeutic tool for those who find themselves stressed, anxious, and/or sleepless at night...
/the-cover-clamp-cover-hog-23584.jpg?mode=crop "The Cover Clamp - Cover-Hog Combatant")
The Cover Clamp - Cover-Hog Combatant
If you won't fly without the Knee Defender or park without DrivewaySpikes, then you best not share a bed with a cover hog anymore without the Cover Clamp. The Cover Clamp secures sheets and comforters in place on the...
/hand-knit-adult-onesies-40625.jpg?mode=crop "Hand Knit Adult Onesies")
Hand Knit Adult Onesies
Happy Monday, cold people and penitents ready to level up your hair shirts! Strickolino has some hand knit adult onesies for you. Super chunky hand knit adult onesies. Like, chunkier than Skippy Extra Crunchy, the pico...
/splitz-bedding-split-blanket-47991.jpg?mode=crop "Splitz Bedding - Split Blanket & Sheet Sets for Couples")
Splitz Bedding - Split Blanket & Sheet Sets for Couples
Cover hog! Sheet stealer! Person who is shivering cold when I am sweating through the bedding! Splitz Bedding is a solution for couples who can't get their sheet - or blanket - together in bed...
/taco-bell-burrito-wrap-blanket-37914.jpg?mode=crop "Taco Bell Burrito Wrap Blanket")
Taco Bell Burrito Wrap Blanket
We've seen human burrito blankets before, but only of the more generic flour tortilla variety. Taco Bell has put their name on, and the wrap in, this burrito wrap blanket by designing it after their own burrito wrappers...