Crown Nipple Rings (NSFW)
Maybe she calls herself a queen. Maybe she calls herself a princess. She's definitely some level of royalty. So I think it's time to bow down and crown her. No, lower. Nooooo...not that low. This crown is for her nipple. And this other crown is for her other nipple.
Ladies, do you deserve to reign? To be admired and adored, waited on hand and foot, bedecked and bejeweled beyond compare? Yes? Welp, nothing I can do about that. But I can point you in the direction of these Crown Nipple Rings from New Format Things to help you show a little boobie love to yourself. Dudes who need a gift for your girlfriend, I don't think I even need to point to help you figure out the benefits of presenting her with this pair of lacy sterling silver crowns.
And don't worry if you're not pierced - Crown Nipple Rings are literally crown-shaped rings that slip over your nipples as they would your finger. They come in 9, 10, 11, and 12mm sizes, though I regret to inform you New Format Things does not include a boobie modeling each. Because, yeah, I'd like to see that gradation of nipples in crown rings too.
Pinky Queen Nipple Lightener (NSFW)
I understand that Pinky Queen nipple...pinkener?...is a boobie beauty tincture developed with a female customer base in mind. And I definitely think females with nipples that are splotchy, unsavorily-hued, or look like...
/the-tata-top-39533.jpg?mode=crop "The TaTa Top (NSFW)")
The TaTa Top (NSFW)
Where was the TaTa Top flesh-colored bikini with nipples when I was having fun with anatomical optical illusions a couple weeks ago? Guess I'll have to retroactively add this eye-(and pants-)popping swimsuit to my Breast...
/snow-globe-sweaters-40711.jpg?mode=crop "Snow Globe Sweaters")
Snow Globe Sweaters
Don't be fooled! These here Snow Globe Sweaters are not cozy and adorable winter hats for snow globes. They're cozy and adorable winter hats for nipples! Like the ones on the ends of boobies. I really don't know why they've...
/candy-nipple-tassels-nsfw-51833.jpg?mode=crop "Candy Nipple Tassels (NSFW)")
Candy Nipple Tassels (NSFW)
If I buy my wife some of these Candy Nipple Tassels, I wonder if she'll let me call her "Sugar tits." Hold on, let me ask. ... ... OK, so that's a confirmed no...
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Titty Tumblers
Practice your nip grip with a Titty Tumbler from Jasmine Pots. And if you can really take hold of a golden nipple, and drink from its ceramic cup without fully cupping it, then you're ready for some next-level grabbing...
/boobie-beanie-for-50763.jpg?mode=crop "Boobie Beanie for Breastfeeding Children...and Adults")
Boobie Beanie for Breastfeeding Children...and Adults
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/game-of-thrones-playing-cards-21243.jpg "Game of Thrones Playing Cards")
Game of Thrones Playing Cards
Game of Thrones Season 2 and A Song of Ice and Fire Book 2 pit Joffrey, Stannis, and Renly Baratheon against one another for the Iron Throne, while Robb Stark mucks things up even further accepting a crown as King in...
Bedtime Stories Duvet Cover
Calling all fairy tale and 62-point font enthusiasts: Envelop yourself in this Bedtime Stories duvet set, and combat sleepless nights and misplaced reading glasses with a classic tome from the Brothers Grimm. The multi-layered...
/playboy-the-complete-28270.jpg "Playboy: The Complete Centerfolds, 1953-2016")
Playboy: The Complete Centerfolds, 1953-2016
Did you know Marilyn Monroe was the first ever Playboy centerfold? It happened in 1953, and launched what would become Hugh Hefner's iconic Playmate of the Month title and spread. And I didn't know of this before. Clearly...
/boob-pots-nsfw-46881.jpg?mode=crop "Boob Pots (NSFW)")
Boob Pots (NSFW)
A little succulence to display your succulents, anyone? These are Boob Pots. Knocker planters. Fun bag flower displays. And possibly the only thing about them that is as titillating as the Boob Pots themselves is the...