Tortilla Baby Blanket & Hat
/tortilla-baby-blanket-hat-10619.jpg "Tortilla Baby Blanket & Hat")
- Cast Iron Tortilla Press - $34.95
- The Original Fuzzy Tortilla - $39.00
- Tuxedo Baby Cocoon - $68.00
- Ladybug Swaddle Blanket - $20.33
- Bumblebee Swaddle Blanket - $22.41
Mmm, mmm that baby looks good enough to dunk in guacamole and drizzle with Cholula. I'm a little confused about the tortilla swaddling blanket's accompanying hat though. Why does it have a knot in it? Aren't tamales the Mexican delicacy featuring knots? And aren't the knots tied in corn husks, not flour tortillas? Kind of a mixed metaphor there, designers hoping to capitalize on this country's unbridled obsession with babies and cutesy baby gear.
Well...I guess wrapping an infant up like a delicious meal from south of the border is still clever. And look how precious that little chalupa in the photo is. Haha, chalupa. There's your lifelong nickname, kid.
DudeIWantThat.com is reader-supported. When you buy through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Learn more.
Baby Head Masks
People who think babies are angelic and precious, I see your Gerber models, and raise you these three baby head masks. No, make that these three enormous, bulbous, horrifying, spawn-of-Chucky baby head masks. Landon Meier...
The Baby Muzzle
First we saw the Japanese Shouting Vase, an ABS resin stress-reliever that mutes the wails of angry or frustrated souls who need to unleash their fury without disturbing the peace. Now the brilliant minds of Japan--perhaps...
In Vitro Baby Branding
Ink, sperm and eggs go in, a financially secure future comes out. In vitro fertilization is expensive, and let's face it, so are babies. What better way to offset the costs, and maybe make a little extra (elbow-elbow)...
Infant Circumcision Trainer
Expecting parents who want to trim the fat from ever-rising hospital bills now have the option to save over $2,000 if they are willing to trim the skin from their newborn sons. Created by Ezra Messer, a mohel with more...
Baby Thug Onesie
"I just did 9 months on the inside...and now that I'm out, my mom is making me wear an orange onesie that, for some reason, encourages many who see me to double-bump a fist against their chest and flash me two fingers."...
/mission-critical-baby-carrier-18296.jpg "Mission Critical Baby Carrier for Dads")
Mission Critical Baby Carrier for Dads
Through September 13th, 2105, click here to enter Dude's Mission Critical Baby Carrier & Daypack giveaway. It's your chance to MOLLE up those diapers, bottles & 6-month-olds with a Baby Carrier and Carrier Daypack combo...
/human-burrito-blanket-29171.jpg "Human Burrito Blanket")
Human Burrito Blanket
A couple of giant Human Burrito Blankets will make sure your Tortilla Baby knows who Mommy and Daddy are. At 5' in diameter, I'd be able to roll up one fine bean, cheese, rice, and man meat burrito in this flour tortilla...
Skoda Man-Pram
At the end of the day, you'll still be a dude pushing around a baby...or a pomeranian...in a stroller, but at least with Skoda's Man-Pram you can mow the fuck over anyone who gives you shit about it...
/crochet-penis-blanket-49439.jpg?mode=crop "Crochet Penis Blanket")
Crochet Penis Blanket
Cozy up next to the fire pit with a warm, cuddly...cock & balls?! This Crochet Penis Blanket from Naughty Mature Gifts will make you snug as a bug in a...er...opposite of rug on cool summer evenings and <a href="https://www.dudeiwantthat.com/blog/the...
/smartduvet-breeze-heat-cool-27692.jpg?mode=crop "Smartduvet Breeze Heat & Cool Self-Making Bed")
Smartduvet Breeze Heat & Cool Self-Making Bed
The Smartduvet self-making bed - no, really. The bed makes itself. Just watch. And that's old news. Smartduvet is now launching a next generation of their smart bedding, the Breeze, that adds dual-zone climate control...
/the-baby-shusher-27529.jpg?mode=crop "The Baby Shusher")
The Baby Shusher
Either the Baby Shusher shhhhhhh-ing machine is a Nobel Prize-caliber invention, or the baby in that video learned in the womb how to be an Oscar-caliber actor. Arrrgh, that sound, that wailing. I can't think of a noise...
/kotatsu-heated-table-24782.jpg?mode=crop "Kotatsu Heated Table")
Kotatsu Heated Table
Do you have to be a girl to want one of these super-cozy-looking Japanese Kotatsu? Do you have to be a girl to use the term "super-cozy-looking?" Oh well then. Call me a big ol' girl and send me a big ol' heated blanket...