Lobster Sandals

I believe all children with no existing physical or mental impairments who think they're hot little shits should be required to wear these giant lobster claws on their hands for a day to learn how it feels to be different...

Design Toscano's Giant Red King Crab Sculptural Chair is going to be sit-down hit with ocean lovers, aquarium enthusiasts, and owners of crab shacks. Those who won't love chillin' on a big ol' crab chair: lobsters. They...

Crab your favorite bottle of Pinot and let this immaculately blown glass crustacean regurgitate it into a perfectly decanted, beautiful bottle of red. Crab Decanter maker Ignite Glass Studios, which brought us the equally...

Link flip-shoes, a hybrid their makers call "free like a flip-flop, safe as a shoe," are here to prove you wrong about at least one thing: no matter what you thought about Crocs or Keen Uneek monstrosities, Redneck Boot...

Redneck Boot Sandals, this is an old April Fool's joke, right? Maybe that too, but these cowboy boot-flip flop hybrids are also an actual shoe made in Alabama. Or Oklahoma. Or Texas. Or one of those states where it becomes...

The best men's slides are boxed and ready to walk you right into summer. Right 'round the beach and pool. Right down the street on a beer run free of wool socks and a down jacket. And, oh yeah, right into the fetid shower...

Oh man, I thought my friend Cornelius had ugly feet. But if even he got a pair of these Ugly Feet Flip Flops, I would know the crusty, cracking, mangled, bunion-bulging dogs from the swamp couldn't possibly be his own...

Actually, what I should say about this wild footwear is that the roundup contains 9 fun and funky animal shoes, and one pair of spooky and possibly sadistic animal boots. Scroll on down to number 10 to see what I mean...

Welcome to the shoepocalypse. Crocs has teamed up with Japanese fashion brand BEAMS - again, apparently - to bring you, me, and the whole ugly-plastic-shoe-loving world the Crocs x BEAMS Bespoke Classic All Terrain Clog...

My foot in your ass doesn't sound so bad when I'm wearing Rose in Good Faith's recycled sex toy shoes, 'eh? Called Plastic Soul, the slip-ons look like a cross between Crocs and New Balance 624 Dad sneaks, neither of...

It's officially spring, so naturally I am champin' at the bit to get to summer. These Suicoke Padri Sandals are about as summer-ready as they come, with a cush, walk-to-the-pool contoured footbed, and rubber sole sporting...

Squishy, spiny, toothy, fruity, and now spooky. Cartoonish sandals are making a run for the Shoe of the Summer, or perhaps Shoe of the Shower, title. These Skull Sandals are one-piece molded EVA slides suitable for wear...