New Balance Caravan Moc
The Dad shoe of the season has arrived. New Balance describes their Caravan Moc as "an easy-going, comfortable respite for tired feet," and I think Dad's gonna be all over that description with a fervor only slightly less intense than the one he reserves for the Caravan Moc itself. Especially once he sees it in that Crossing Guard Raincoat Yellow color.
If you're loath to consider yourself a wearer of Dad shoes, but kinda like how comfy the New Balance Caravan Mocs look, they do make them in black-on-black too. It's almost dark enough to hide the aesthetic of the quilt-stitched upper and fleece inner lining. Or if you like the yellow ones, screw 'em. Screw 'em one and all who hit you with the Dad jokes. That's what I did when I bought my Teva Ember Mocs, and if you've seen these pancake foot monstrosities, you'll know you're at least safe from receiving a single nugget of crap from me.
Muchas danke to Bless This Stuff.
/clarks-quilted-walllabee-boot-55987.jpg?mode=crop "Clarks Quilted Walllabee Boot")
Clarks Quilted Walllabee Boot
Here we go again. Back to school. Into fall. And preparing for weather that will require us to wrap up in quilts, and slip our feet into boots, and, if you're Clarks Quilted Walllabee Boot, wrap up our feet in quilted...
/teva-mens-reember-mid-53294.jpg?mode=crop "Teva Men's ReEmber Mid Moccasin")
Teva Men's ReEmber Mid Moccasin
RemEmber Teva's Ember Moc slipper-style indoor / outdoor shoes? Well, Teva decided to ReEmber the Moc this season, and has even added some variety, and a few inches to the line in the ReEmber Mid Moccasin. These men's...
Tank Slippers
Incoming! And this time, in addition to unleashing artillery, they're also unleashing the ripe, fishy odors of feet that have been sweating underneath an 8" thickness of woolen yarn! Tank Slippers, should you be up for...
GoodFoot Temperature-Balancing Slippers
Not that it's not incredibly sexy when you caress the lady with whom you're entwined on the couch with a ripe and sweaty foot that makes her gag and recoil, or an ice block of a set of toes that makes her yelp and shoot...
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The 17 Best Gifts to Warm You Up & Keep You Warm
When I say "The 17 Best Gifts to Warm You Up & Keep You Warm," I guess what I really mean is "The 17 Best Gifts to Warm Her Up & Keep Her Warm." At least that's the case in my household. Be it my wife, She-Ra: Princess...
Giant Robot Slippers with Sound
Perfect. I've been looking for some giant robot feet to go with my giant robot arms. And these are slippers? With Vrrrrrr-clank! Vrrrrrr-clank! sound effects? Did I say perfect? I meant better than perfect. I meant, like...
/teva-ember-moc-slippers-29874.jpg "Teva Ember Moc Slippers")
Teva Ember Moc Slippers
Teva's Ember Moc slippers might have Dad Joke written all over them, but I don't care. I want some. Teva says they're like sleeping bags for your feet. Who can resist sleeping bags for your feet?! Not me...
/largemouth-bass-slippers-29119.jpg "Largemouth Bass Slippers")
Largemouth Bass Slippers
Good news, pescatarians! They've finally started making slippers out of fish - check out these largemouth bass slippers! - so you'll have something to wear while everyone else dons their bunnies, piggies, chickies, and...
/Slippers-With-Headlights-736.jpg?mode=crop "Slippers With Headlights")
Slippers With Headlights
I have to go pee. It's 4am. After resisting the elbow nudges from my bladder for 30 minutes, I relent. I stumble toward the bathroom with hands out for blockers. Turning the lights on isn't an option. I pee on the floor...
/wild-footwear-10-fun-funky-55838.jpg?mode=crop "Wild Footwear: 10 Fun & Funky Animal Shoes")
Wild Footwear: 10 Fun & Funky Animal Shoes
Actually, what I should say about this wild footwear is that the roundup contains 9 fun and funky animal shoes, and one pair of spooky and possibly sadistic animal boots. Scroll on down to number 10 to see what I mean...
/time-sneaker-slippers-12309.jpg "TI:ME Slipper Sneakers")
TI:ME Slipper Sneakers
Total comfort and relaxation without looking like a hobbit. This is the objective of TI:ME slippers. Though I would contend that the Kickstarter project's soft-soled, plush-lined, yoga-matted, walking-on-Air Jordans go...
/mario-piranha-plant-slippers-60658.jpg?mode=crop "Super Mario Bros. Piranha Plant Slippers")
Super Mario Bros. Piranha Plant Slippers
Slide your feet into the Super Mario Bros. Piranha Plant Slippers, and enjoy plush comfort, 80s gaming nostalgia, and some serious pop culture drip. And the cost? Only...your life...